SwervinTaters Bar Review #5: Mortimer's

Hey Twin Cities! Big Brother Swervin is on a mission. That mission: Helping you achieve maximum enjoyment while slowly drinking yourself to death. And that’s not just the bar reviews. That’s a life mission.

Swervy spent the afternoon at Mortimer’s the other day. It didn’t go particularly well. Have a look:



Mortimer’s: It will turn you against old white people AND female white people! It will force you to form a new opinion on what’s wrong with America! And yet, 2 of 5 Swerves. Let’s check the scoreboard:

CC Club: 4 Swerves

Pat’s Tap: 3.5 Swerves

Loring Kitchen & Bar: 3.5 Swerves

Liquor Lyle’s: 2 Swerves

Mortimer’s: 2 Swerves

Welcome to last place, Mort’s!

Sadly, we can’t suggest a link to Mortimer’s website because they don’t have one. We’re assuming nobody there knows how to use a computer. If you want to know what it’s like, you’ll have to check it out yourself. Bring your coon skin cap.

As always, we thank SwervinTaters for his contributions to the blog, the Twin Cities, and the his tireless efforts to promote a sexy motion. If you need more SwervinTaters in your life (and you probably do), check him out on Twitter (@SwervinTaters).

Until next time, Amurrica…

SwervinTaters Bar Review #4: Loring Kitchen & Bar

Hey America!

Handsome Uncle Swervin is back from… well… we’re not sure where, but he’s back and he’s still on his bar review grind.

This week he spent the afternoon in the heart of the city at Loring Kitchen & Bar. And, contrary to whatever Jay-Z thinks, he found plenty of love. Have a look:



Blaow! 3 and a half Swerves for the LKB! Let’s check the big board:

 1st Place: CC Club - 4 Swerves

2nd Place (Tie): Pat’s Tap - 3.5 Swerves

2nd Place (Tie): Loring Kitchen & Bar - 3.5 Swerves

4th Place: Liquor Lyle’s: 2 Swerves

For more on Loring Kitchen & Bar, you can check their website here.

If you’re itching for more SwervinTaters, be sure to give his Twitter a follow (@SwervinTaters). He’s a great time-out taker.

There you have it, kiddies. Play nice.

SwervinTaters Bar Review #3: CC Club

Hey Amerrica! SwervinTaters is back and he celebrated President’s Day by going to the most presidential bar he knows: The CC Club. Have a look at his thoughts on this iconic Uptown spot:



What CAN you say about the CC Club? It’s a bar or an establishment… Whatever you wanna call it. Swervin calls it four out of five! The CC Club is the, er… clubhouse leader. Here’s the standings so far.

CC Club: 4 Swerves

Pat’s Tap: 3.5 Swerves

Liquor Lyle’s: 2 Swerves

For more info on the CC Club, you’ll just have to go there, because they don’t have a website.

As always, you can find more of SwervinTaters’ insight on life, whoredom, drinking, Minnesota sports, whores, life, & drinking by following him on Twitter (@SwervinTaters)

Sammy Sosa, baby!

SwervinTaters Bar Review #2: Liquor Lyle's

Hey everybody!

That good looking man-about-town SwervinTaters stopped by Liquor Lyle’s this week for the Bar Review. A drunken time was had by all. Here’s what he thought of the bar:


Liquor Lyle’s: Don’t come here if you like yourself.

 Truer words were never spoken.

Thanks to Swervin for stopping by NI and sharing his opinion. If you’re not following him on Twitter (@SwervinTaters) you’re life is an unequivocal failure. Until next week…

SwervinTaters Bar Review #1: Pat's Tap

Welcome to the first edition of SwervinTaters Bar Review. Swervin is a longtime friend of ATU and a Twin Cities bar aficionado. This week he visited Pat’s Tap at 3510 Nicollet Avenue in South Minneapolis.



There ya go, folks! Not a bar for key bumps! Don’t act like he never told ya.

Pat’s Tap will inevitably be bragging about their 3 and a half Swerve rating very soon. Be sure to check their website here.

Thanks to Swervin for stopping by the blog. For more of his observations on life and bar, he’s a must-follow on Twitter (@SwervinTaters). Until next week…