Hey Twin Cities! Big Brother Swervin is on a mission. That mission:
Helping you achieve maximum enjoyment while slowly drinking yourself to
death. And that’s not just the bar reviews. That’s a life mission.
Swervy spent the afternoon at Mortimer’s the other day. It didn’t go particularly well. Have a look:
Mortimer’s: It will turn you against old white people AND female
white people! It will force you to form a new opinion on what’s wrong
with America! And yet, 2 of 5 Swerves. Let’s check the scoreboard:
CC Club: 4 Swerves
Pat’s Tap: 3.5 Swerves
Loring Kitchen & Bar: 3.5 Swerves
Liquor Lyle’s: 2 Swerves
Mortimer’s: 2 Swerves
Welcome to last place, Mort’s!
Sadly, we can’t suggest a link to Mortimer’s website because they
don’t have one. We’re assuming nobody there knows how to use a computer.
If you want to know what it’s like, you’ll have to check it out
yourself. Bring your coon skin cap.
As always, we thank SwervinTaters for his contributions to the blog,
the Twin Cities, and the his tireless efforts to promote a sexy motion.
If you need more SwervinTaters in your life (and you probably do), check
him out on Twitter (@SwervinTaters).
Until next time, Amurrica…
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