Hey internets! How ya'll doing? Well? Yeah? Good. You know I worry about you.
As you can see, I took a walk down to the old Bryant-Lake Bowl the other day. If you somehow don't know what B-LB is, well, get outside more. Christ.
B-LB is a bar/restaurant/old-timey bowling alley located, if you can believe this, on the corner of Bryant Ave. & Lake St. During the day it's very much a lunch spot and at night it becomes more of a date night/dj night/bowling night type of place. They have a theatre attached to the bar, but for our purposes, that's irrelevant (of course, if you're a fan of indie theatre and local bands, you should look into it).
Annnyyywayyy... I was hungry for breakfast yesterday (by breakfast I mean it was 2:00 in the afternoon but I hadn't eaten yet). Thanks to my old friend SwervinTaters, I remembered that B-LB actually has breakfast until 3 and that it's pretty solid. When I got there at 2:30, I had just missed the lunch rush, so I was working with this:
As you can see, with the exception of the server who was moving faster than my shutter speed, I pretty much had the run of the place. Though, oddly, the bowling lanes were mostly full. Who's bowling on at 2:30 on a Tuesday afternoon?
So, here's what we're dealing with. Here's the rundown.
Location: Bryant-Lake Bowl
Meal: Tofu Scramble
Main Ingredients: Tofu, Tamari, Spinach, Red Pepper, Onion, Seasame Seeds, Tamari
To The Side: B-LB Fries or Dirty Rice (cooked in canola oil), a variety of toast options
Beverage: Water
Seated: At The Bar
Music: The Current
Menu Price: $7:50 American for the scramble/sides, $0 for the water
Total Price: $10 American (w/tip)
(Cue the horns)
I present to you the Bryant-Lake Bowl Tofu Scramble!
As you can see, unlike the restaurant's very literal name, the Tofu Scramble does not actually feature scrambled tofu. The tofu is cubed and mixed in with the spinach, onion, red pepper & mixed all together with the tamari and sesame seeds.
The home fries have the texture and consistency of thin-cut potato chips.
(Pro Tip #1: Mix the tofu/veggie combo with the home fries and let it all sit for a minute or two. This lets the potatoes absorb some of the tahini and soften them up. Otherwise you're just eating potato chips with a fork, or as I like to call it, Chinese Potato Chip Fork Torture.)
Also, I went with the sourdough as my toast of choice because, as Congress declared back in the mid-90's, sourdough bread is un-fuck-withable.
Anyway, once I let the mixture come together, this meal was a damn fine meal. The tofu is not very browned, so if you're put off by the texture of tofu, this may not be the meal for you. You should also grow the fuck up.
The red pepper was definitely still crisp, which is awesome. The onion gave the whole thing a nice little kick. Obviously the spinach does what spinach does, namely taste pretty good while making you feel like you're being relatively healthy. We all know it's easy to let spinach get too soggy, so, to their credit, the cooks did an awesome job of getting it done just right.
Not to channel the ghost of Mitch Hedberg, but I'd be lying if I said I knew exactly what role the sesame seeds play in the meal. That being said, they are not an unwelcome addition.
The tamari does not have a super-prominent role in the taste of the entire meal. This is clutch, as nobody wants to eat a breakfast that's so salty they're chugging glass of water after glass of water. It does pull everything together nicely though.
(Pro Tip #2: Since the toast is dry, save it for last. Eat up the delicious tofu/veggie/home fries mix and then use the toast to soak up what's left of the tamari & canola oil. This improves the meal by at least 15%)
So that's that. A very, very good breakfast. Let's tally up the final score.
Flavor: 8/10 - Mild, which is perfect for a breakfast that is one part delicious and one part hangover cure.
Filling: 6/10 - Good and greasy (though without actual grease). However, you'd have to eat a whole cart of tofu & veggies to actually get full.
Price: 6/10 - $10.00 total seems a bit steep for a meal that wasn't super filling and didn't have a beverage. However, that's the going rate these days. If it was any cheaper I'd probably be there 3 days a week.
Ambiance: 8/10 - Given my distaste for people, an empty bar was pretty solid. Plus, they played the new Blur single on The Current while I was there. Bonus point.
Service: 9/10 - Kristen & Brendan were working behind the bar. Both were super-friendly and, I'm secure enough in my manhood to admit, very good looking. If you ask Kristen nicely she may even tell you about her bacon & cheese tattoo. Also, I apologize if I misspelled your names, Kristen & Brendan. Or Christin & Brendon. Or Kirstin & Brian.
If This Meal Was A Former Twins Outfielder It Would Be: Shannon Stewart. You tend to forget about it, but it's actually really good and deserves more credit than it gets.
How Many Times Per Month Would I Eat This Meal If I Could Afford To: 3. It certainly deserves a spot in the rotation. Roughly once every 10 days seems about right.
Overall Score: 7/10 - A better than average breakfast experience. Thanks, B-LB!
So there you have it, Twin Cities. The Tofu Scramble at the Bryant-Lake Bowl. Definitely worth checking out.
For more TCDroogsma you can follow him on Twitter (@TCDroogsma) or on his own blog Caffeine & Obscenities.
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