KPlow & The Fork #2: Saffron Restaurant & Lounge

Panning for gold...

Hey food fans!  KPlow & The Fork are back.  After a disappointing trip to The Amsterdam Bar & Hall, KPlow decided to stick around Minneapolis this time and check out Saffron downtown.  Be sure to check out their website here for the location, menu, and various other bits of information.  Tell us a story, KPlow...

Bad water. Joe has dysentery. You have shot 900 pounds of buffalo meat but you can only carry back 100. I think you know what I’m talking about.

Yes, folks…the one, the only, the Oregon Trail.

Well, fast forward a few years, add better graphics and you have the Yukon Trail. See here:

A computer game where you play poker, wait for the ice to thaw…oh yes, and pan for gold.

The panning for gold is immediately what sprung to mind after dining at the swanky Saffron. Riding home, I nostalgiated back to my gaming days on the Yukon Trail, where you would stake a gold claim—based primarily upon speculation from other gold seekers, and then, hope you’d strike it rich.

Well, guess what? I listened to the speculators hoping for nuggets of gold at Saffron, but instead found only flakes. Soon Twin Cities, I’ll find a winner.

For now, munch on this but, heed my advice: just because it’s in the top ten does not make it a tasty chew! :

Enter Saffron:

Vacant tables stare at us as, from giant high glass windows as the Fork and I pull up in our two wheelers around 6:30 on a Tuesday evening. We enter to find about four tables filled. The windows weren’t lying!

The hostess greets us and immediately asks if we have reservations. Ahem…we did, but I haven’t the faintest idea why we would have needed them!

After confirming we were indeed booked for 6:30, we were swiftly escorted to a decent table off to the side near the kitchen. Before our biking butts had time to hit the chairs, someone was already pouring us water. A few minutes later our waiter arrived and gave us a nervous, but thorough rundown of the menu. Things seemed to be going well!

We studied up on the menu, made some decisions and that’s when the flakes…not nuggets appeared.

First, things first, I order a Syrah…

”Ah….” Says the waiter, “unfortunately we do not have that available tonight.” Geez whiz!? You only have 5 glasses of red available and you don’t have the most expensive one in stock? With great misfortune, I got a zinfandel, tasty but not a syrah. Sheez folks, wouldn’t you think you’d have your regular wines, especially the spendy ones, in house?

Next, two appetizers were delivered. One was a squid “a la plancha,” which is a quickly grilled squid marinated in saffron, oil and butter.

The other was Bastirma, a cured beef that is seasoned and found throughout the middle east.

What went wrong? The squid was chewy and tender with the sauce tasting quite lovely. However, the squid was not crisp…or “a la plancha.” Even though “a la plancha” means quickly seared, there should have been some crunch going on. Instead, chew, chew, chew. One of the extremely stingy-sized portions, perhaps $2 of the $8 dish, was at the crisped, crunchy desiredness. No winner here.

The bastirma, the second app, was well seasoned with a paprika flair, and paired with a lovely Palestinian olive oil. The meat, unfortunately, was swimming in the oil! Yes, the backstroke, breast, and I think it was even doing freestyle.

Marcona almonds additionally adorned the plate, which were a nice touch, but the pickled ramps that accompanied it were less than to be desired. Pickled anything, especially ramps, should be delicious, but these were definitely lack luster.

The main meal was a lamb tagine, that arrived in a fanciful tagine pot, like the one seen below.

The main protein of the tagine was boneless lamb shoulder, and boy could you tell. Not an ounce of fat was in the juices. Laden with artichokes, potatoes and olives that surrounded the meat, the shoulder was flavorless and fatless! The broth was liquidy and watery and not luscious and velvety, which is what happens when fat is present. Bummer. The potatoes were a heirloom variety of the fingerling family, but the artichokes sadly were without question, from a can and very metallic. Ish!

I ordered a salad as well, but requested they leave off the dairy, which was inevitably a mistake. Entire dish ruined…darn my lactose intolerance. In all fairness, I will refrain from commenting on the salad, but again, I felt it was lacked luster.

Dessert, surprisingly was a high point. Mango curry sorbet anyone? I think yes! It definitely needed some tweaking but this was such a fantastic idea I couldn’t help but like the crazy concoction!

Like I said, work needed, but the foundation was there. A few bananas added into the mix and maybe some cinnamon, cardamom, and coriander and that sorbet would be in business.

So there you have it folks. Wahwah, another negative review. I’ll find a winner soon!

Next time nuggets, I swear!

Bad times, KPlow.  Bad times, The Fork.  Thanks for stopping by and checking it out for the rest of us.

For more KPlow, she can typically be found banging out posts for her food blog Nettlefetter.  There's also a rumour going around that she maintains a Twitter account.  More on this story as it develops.

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