Here kitty, kitty, kitty...
Hello again, Vikings fans! Welcome back to Ten & Six with Mike Otto. Again, lifelong Vikings fan Mike Otto is with us this season to break down the Purple and the rest of the league. It's Week 4, which means we're entering the quarter-pole for the 2012 NFL season. Yes, already.
So Mr. Otto: Talk to us.
(Editors Note: A large chunk of this column was hammered out by Mike and myself during the days before the regular officials and NFL struck a deal).
Well, another wild and, at times, ragged week in the NFL is complete! Another week of hard-to-believe upsets, controversial play calls, and player/commissioner animosity.
My picks went 6-10 last week, but my Vikings played their most complete game in over 2 years, so I'm a happy guy.
(Editors Note: Mike's pick for Thursday night's game between the Ravens & Browns was posted on our Facebook page here. Yet again, he picked against the Browns. Yet again, he was correct. OK, I'll shut up now.)
No one can deny the replacement officials have lost control of the situation. The tension and anger with some coaches & teams is building and nearing a breaking point. I am not denying any of that, as it is a very serious problem that only the real refs can fix.
However, throughout the history of the NFL, calls have been missed almost every week, sometimes on much greater stages than what occurred Monday night. Unless proof of direct intent to alter games through bad calls comes to light we cannot blame these poor bastards known as the replacement refs.
They are just guys who got an opportunity to better their lives and, regardless of the challenges that came with that opportunity, said, "Hey, I'm gonna give it a shot." If Roger Goodell knocked on my door and asked if I wanted $25 grand to ref maybe five weeks of football I'd be a fucking idiot not to take him up on it. Do I know the game well enough to give it a good effort and do an average job? Hell yes! Will I be as good as the guys who do this every year? Probably not.
For guys like T.J. Lang & Josh Sitton to insult these poor bastards (from the comfort of their multi-million dollar homes), saying "they knew what they were getting into..." yeah, they knew they were getting into $25 grand! Which is probably what you wipe your ass with.
Hey Josh Sitton & T.J. Lang, maybe you should work on those screen door blocking techniques before you open your big dumb mouth and let words fall out. Maybe next time.
(Mike's Late Note: The replacement officials will be gone for this week's games, so this can all be put behind us. All things considered though, I think they did a decent job. The Packers lost that game because they played poorly for 3 quarters.)
Now that I've got that off my chest, on to the picks for this week!
(Mike is currently 25-24 (including last Thursday) so far this season.)
Carolina (1-2) at Atlanta (3-0)
Is the sophomore slump in effect for Cam Newton? It sure seems like it. After losing only one game in college, Killa Cam hasn't even sniffed a winning record in the NFL.
It doesn't get any easier this week as the Panthers travel to Atlanta to take on one of the best teams in the league. Julio Jones looks unstoppable with Matt Ryan throwing him the ball. Falcons roll 38-21.
New England (1-2) at Buffalo (2-1)
Ohhh poor little Boston is 1-2!! Poor little bitches! Hey Belicheck, YOU DON'T get to grab a ref when he's leaving the field. That ref isn't starstruck, he doesn't care who you are or what you've done. He's probably thinking about the frozen burrito he's going to eat tonight.
The entitlement attitude displayed by some coaches and teams really bothers me. Whether they deserve to or not, I think Boston gets back to .500 this week with a 28-20 victory.
Tennessee (1-2) at Houston (3-0)
Tennessee pulled off the upset last week against the Lions with the aid of two special teams touchdowns. They will more than likely need four special teams touchdowns to beat the Texans.
Houston might be the best team in the NFL right now. They win this one easy 35-17.
San Diego (2-1) at Kansas City (1-2)
Next to the Packers and Bears, I hate the Chargers Most. Not really sure why, just do. Phillip Rivers and Norv Turner are a big part of it. It will be fun to see Norv on Proactiv infomercials after he gets fired. It will be even more fun to see Phillip Rivers on Stay Free Ultra Dry commercials in the offseason.
Kansas City is coming off a big road win against the Saints and I think they build on it this week. Chiefs win a close one 24-21.
Seattle (2-1) at St. Louis (1-2)
If you haven't heard, Seattle is coming off a hard fought victory on Monday night. St. Louis is coming off an all-to-common thrashing by their last opponent... DA BEARS.
The Seahawks fought, clawed, pushed, and shoved until the final minute to win that game. The Rams were thoroughly mounted by the Bears for four quarters.
The Seahawks defense is mean and will win them this game, just like it won their last one. Hawks roll 23-10.
San Francisco (2-1) at New York Jets (2-1)
The Jets are in trouble. You don't normally say that about a 2-1 team, but most teams don't have fat, doomed Rex Ryan as head coach. "Revis Island" is no longer accepting tourists for the rest of the year and this does not bode well for their playoff hopes & (foot fetish) dreams.
The Niners are coming off a loss where they were beaten at their own game by my favorite 11. They are angry, they are hungry, and they are still scary good. Did I mention Rex Ryan is fat and doomed? I mentioned that, right? Niners win 28-17
Miami (1-2) at Arizona (3-0)
The Cardinals are a surprising 3-0 and they're getting it done the old-fashioned way: hard-nosed defense and ball control offense. They are for real. Kevin Kolb out-performed former teammate and convicted dog murderer Michal Vick (fuck you, Michael Vick).
No Reggie Bush for Miami? No chance for Miami! Cards win at home 20-6.
Oakland (1-2) at Denver (1-2)
Oakland pulled off a stunning second half comeback last week against the Steelers behind a big day by Darren McFadden.
Seems like Peyton Manning is still trying to figure out timing & chemistry with his new teammates. They had better hurry up. A season can get away from you real fast. Broncos get back in the win column this week with a 24-17 victory.
Cincinnati (2-1) at Jacksonville (1-2)
God, I just don't care about this game. Let's say... Bengals win 20-10.
New Orleans (0-3) at Green Bay (1-2)
The Packers offense is ranked 28th through 3 weeks of the season. This, more than anything else, is the reason they are 1-2. All the delusional Packer fans in the world can't change that.
The Packers offense has a great chance to get healthy against a Saints defense that is just godawful. I just don't see a Drew Brees-led team starting 0-4. Saints pick up a huge road win and put the Packers in a tough early season hole. 31-28 Saints.
Washington (1-2) at Tampa Bay (1-2)
Last week I apologized to Josh Freeman and put him on a big game. What happened? The Ford Pinto that is Josh Freeman broke down (once again) with a stinky 10-28 performance and made me look stupid (once again). At least we know he's good at one thing consistently. So listen up, Freeman! I don't think you're qualified to throw my trash away, much less throw a football for an NFL team! You're as mobile as a sloth after a mid-day nap and as accurate as a pre-Iraq War New York Times article! Time to watch a real QB play ball this week, Joshy boy.
RG III and the 'Skins win this one 28-13
New York Giants (2-1) at Philadelphia (2-1)
Philly is garbage. Michael Vick is trash. Their fans are scumbags. Andy Reid can't manage the clock. Have fun wallowing in your own misery, you fucks. Way to sign Vick a $100 million contract after a few good games. Fuck yourself, Philly. Giants win 24-10.
Chicago (2-1) at Dallas (2-1)
The Bears are a tough test in Dallas, but the Cowboys are a different team at home. Tony Romo really seems to feed off his home crowd and Jay Cutler seems to hold the ball too long. That could be a problem with Demarcus Ware coming after him. Cowboys win 20-17.
And with that, on to the Purple!
The Vikings are coming off their biggest win in over two years. All three phases of the game were clicking for my favorite squad and it was a breath of fresh air.
The refs gave the Niners two extra timeouts, but it didn't matter because the Vikings played well enough to overcome a referee mistake (can't say that about the Packers).
Follow up a victory against the Niners with a victory in your first divisional game of the season and suddenly the league will be paying attention to the Purple.
There's no reason we can't win this game. We took the Lions to the wire twice last year, only to come up just short both times. If the refs don't miss a blatant 15-yard facemasking penalty committed on Joe Webb in the final minute the Vikings win one of those games for sure.
Unlike Packer fans, none us that bleed purple flew to New York, none of us stood outside the Metrodome protesting, and their was no national outrage. Why, you ask? For one, we're all adults with real lives. Second, the happiness of our lives does not depend on football wins and losses.
My point being, we almost won last year when the team was much less complete.
Before we get into this week's game, though, let's look at the positives and negatives from last week. First, the positives:
-Play calling: I was hard on Bill Musgrave last week and, to his credit, he put together a great game plan against a great defense. The players, to their credit, executed it to perfection.
-Defense: For the first time in over two years the Vikings won the turnover battle. Wow, has it been that long? Sadly, yes, but well done.
-Christian Ponder: It's starting to look like he could be "the guy." It's been so long since this team has had "the guy" at QB that I don't even know exactly how to feel. I keep waiting for rug to be pulled out from under me. Ponder that.
-Offensive Line: Ponder wasn't sacked once! Against a defense as fierce as the 49ers, that might be the biggest accomplishment of them all.
-Penalties: Only one penalty last week! How about that, Packers fans?
Now, the negatives:
-Toby Gerhart: Frazier and Musgrave inexplicably allowed Gerhart to touch the ball after two consecutive fumbles. We were quickly rewarded with another fumble.
Three Keys To A Vikings Victory:
Key #1: Establish the pace of the game.
Hello again, Vikings fans! Welcome back to Ten & Six with Mike Otto. Again, lifelong Vikings fan Mike Otto is with us this season to break down the Purple and the rest of the league. It's Week 4, which means we're entering the quarter-pole for the 2012 NFL season. Yes, already.
So Mr. Otto: Talk to us.
(Editors Note: A large chunk of this column was hammered out by Mike and myself during the days before the regular officials and NFL struck a deal).
Well, another wild and, at times, ragged week in the NFL is complete! Another week of hard-to-believe upsets, controversial play calls, and player/commissioner animosity.
My picks went 6-10 last week, but my Vikings played their most complete game in over 2 years, so I'm a happy guy.
(Editors Note: Mike's pick for Thursday night's game between the Ravens & Browns was posted on our Facebook page here. Yet again, he picked against the Browns. Yet again, he was correct. OK, I'll shut up now.)
No one can deny the replacement officials have lost control of the situation. The tension and anger with some coaches & teams is building and nearing a breaking point. I am not denying any of that, as it is a very serious problem that only the real refs can fix.
However, throughout the history of the NFL, calls have been missed almost every week, sometimes on much greater stages than what occurred Monday night. Unless proof of direct intent to alter games through bad calls comes to light we cannot blame these poor bastards known as the replacement refs.
They are just guys who got an opportunity to better their lives and, regardless of the challenges that came with that opportunity, said, "Hey, I'm gonna give it a shot." If Roger Goodell knocked on my door and asked if I wanted $25 grand to ref maybe five weeks of football I'd be a fucking idiot not to take him up on it. Do I know the game well enough to give it a good effort and do an average job? Hell yes! Will I be as good as the guys who do this every year? Probably not.
For guys like T.J. Lang & Josh Sitton to insult these poor bastards (from the comfort of their multi-million dollar homes), saying "they knew what they were getting into..." yeah, they knew they were getting into $25 grand! Which is probably what you wipe your ass with.
Hey Josh Sitton & T.J. Lang, maybe you should work on those screen door blocking techniques before you open your big dumb mouth and let words fall out. Maybe next time.
(Mike's Late Note: The replacement officials will be gone for this week's games, so this can all be put behind us. All things considered though, I think they did a decent job. The Packers lost that game because they played poorly for 3 quarters.)
Now that I've got that off my chest, on to the picks for this week!
(Mike is currently 25-24 (including last Thursday) so far this season.)
Carolina (1-2) at Atlanta (3-0)
Is the sophomore slump in effect for Cam Newton? It sure seems like it. After losing only one game in college, Killa Cam hasn't even sniffed a winning record in the NFL.
It doesn't get any easier this week as the Panthers travel to Atlanta to take on one of the best teams in the league. Julio Jones looks unstoppable with Matt Ryan throwing him the ball. Falcons roll 38-21.
New England (1-2) at Buffalo (2-1)
Ohhh poor little Boston is 1-2!! Poor little bitches! Hey Belicheck, YOU DON'T get to grab a ref when he's leaving the field. That ref isn't starstruck, he doesn't care who you are or what you've done. He's probably thinking about the frozen burrito he's going to eat tonight.
The entitlement attitude displayed by some coaches and teams really bothers me. Whether they deserve to or not, I think Boston gets back to .500 this week with a 28-20 victory.
Tennessee (1-2) at Houston (3-0)
Tennessee pulled off the upset last week against the Lions with the aid of two special teams touchdowns. They will more than likely need four special teams touchdowns to beat the Texans.
Houston might be the best team in the NFL right now. They win this one easy 35-17.
San Diego (2-1) at Kansas City (1-2)
Next to the Packers and Bears, I hate the Chargers Most. Not really sure why, just do. Phillip Rivers and Norv Turner are a big part of it. It will be fun to see Norv on Proactiv infomercials after he gets fired. It will be even more fun to see Phillip Rivers on Stay Free Ultra Dry commercials in the offseason.
Kansas City is coming off a big road win against the Saints and I think they build on it this week. Chiefs win a close one 24-21.
Seattle (2-1) at St. Louis (1-2)
If you haven't heard, Seattle is coming off a hard fought victory on Monday night. St. Louis is coming off an all-to-common thrashing by their last opponent... DA BEARS.
The Seahawks fought, clawed, pushed, and shoved until the final minute to win that game. The Rams were thoroughly mounted by the Bears for four quarters.
The Seahawks defense is mean and will win them this game, just like it won their last one. Hawks roll 23-10.
San Francisco (2-1) at New York Jets (2-1)
The Jets are in trouble. You don't normally say that about a 2-1 team, but most teams don't have fat, doomed Rex Ryan as head coach. "Revis Island" is no longer accepting tourists for the rest of the year and this does not bode well for their playoff hopes & (foot fetish) dreams.
The Niners are coming off a loss where they were beaten at their own game by my favorite 11. They are angry, they are hungry, and they are still scary good. Did I mention Rex Ryan is fat and doomed? I mentioned that, right? Niners win 28-17
Miami (1-2) at Arizona (3-0)
The Cardinals are a surprising 3-0 and they're getting it done the old-fashioned way: hard-nosed defense and ball control offense. They are for real. Kevin Kolb out-performed former teammate and convicted dog murderer Michal Vick (fuck you, Michael Vick).
No Reggie Bush for Miami? No chance for Miami! Cards win at home 20-6.
Oakland (1-2) at Denver (1-2)
Oakland pulled off a stunning second half comeback last week against the Steelers behind a big day by Darren McFadden.
Seems like Peyton Manning is still trying to figure out timing & chemistry with his new teammates. They had better hurry up. A season can get away from you real fast. Broncos get back in the win column this week with a 24-17 victory.
Cincinnati (2-1) at Jacksonville (1-2)
God, I just don't care about this game. Let's say... Bengals win 20-10.
New Orleans (0-3) at Green Bay (1-2)
The Packers offense is ranked 28th through 3 weeks of the season. This, more than anything else, is the reason they are 1-2. All the delusional Packer fans in the world can't change that.
The Packers offense has a great chance to get healthy against a Saints defense that is just godawful. I just don't see a Drew Brees-led team starting 0-4. Saints pick up a huge road win and put the Packers in a tough early season hole. 31-28 Saints.
Washington (1-2) at Tampa Bay (1-2)
Last week I apologized to Josh Freeman and put him on a big game. What happened? The Ford Pinto that is Josh Freeman broke down (once again) with a stinky 10-28 performance and made me look stupid (once again). At least we know he's good at one thing consistently. So listen up, Freeman! I don't think you're qualified to throw my trash away, much less throw a football for an NFL team! You're as mobile as a sloth after a mid-day nap and as accurate as a pre-Iraq War New York Times article! Time to watch a real QB play ball this week, Joshy boy.
RG III and the 'Skins win this one 28-13
New York Giants (2-1) at Philadelphia (2-1)
Philly is garbage. Michael Vick is trash. Their fans are scumbags. Andy Reid can't manage the clock. Have fun wallowing in your own misery, you fucks. Way to sign Vick a $100 million contract after a few good games. Fuck yourself, Philly. Giants win 24-10.
Chicago (2-1) at Dallas (2-1)
The Bears are a tough test in Dallas, but the Cowboys are a different team at home. Tony Romo really seems to feed off his home crowd and Jay Cutler seems to hold the ball too long. That could be a problem with Demarcus Ware coming after him. Cowboys win 20-17.
And with that, on to the Purple!
The Vikings are coming off their biggest win in over two years. All three phases of the game were clicking for my favorite squad and it was a breath of fresh air.
The refs gave the Niners two extra timeouts, but it didn't matter because the Vikings played well enough to overcome a referee mistake (can't say that about the Packers).
Follow up a victory against the Niners with a victory in your first divisional game of the season and suddenly the league will be paying attention to the Purple.
There's no reason we can't win this game. We took the Lions to the wire twice last year, only to come up just short both times. If the refs don't miss a blatant 15-yard facemasking penalty committed on Joe Webb in the final minute the Vikings win one of those games for sure.
Unlike Packer fans, none us that bleed purple flew to New York, none of us stood outside the Metrodome protesting, and their was no national outrage. Why, you ask? For one, we're all adults with real lives. Second, the happiness of our lives does not depend on football wins and losses.
My point being, we almost won last year when the team was much less complete.
Before we get into this week's game, though, let's look at the positives and negatives from last week. First, the positives:
-Play calling: I was hard on Bill Musgrave last week and, to his credit, he put together a great game plan against a great defense. The players, to their credit, executed it to perfection.
-Defense: For the first time in over two years the Vikings won the turnover battle. Wow, has it been that long? Sadly, yes, but well done.
-Christian Ponder: It's starting to look like he could be "the guy." It's been so long since this team has had "the guy" at QB that I don't even know exactly how to feel. I keep waiting for rug to be pulled out from under me. Ponder that.
-Offensive Line: Ponder wasn't sacked once! Against a defense as fierce as the 49ers, that might be the biggest accomplishment of them all.
-Penalties: Only one penalty last week! How about that, Packers fans?
Now, the negatives:
-Toby Gerhart: Frazier and Musgrave inexplicably allowed Gerhart to touch the ball after two consecutive fumbles. We were quickly rewarded with another fumble.
MINNESOTA VIKINGS (2-1) at DETROIT LIONS (1-2)
Three Keys To A Vikings Victory:
Key #1: Establish the pace of the game.
We can't win a fast-paced, quick-touchdown type of contest. Look for the Vikings to try to open the game with a long, methodical drive like they did against the Niners.
Key #2: Knock Matthew Stafford down early.
Key #2: Knock Matthew Stafford down early.
He's got a tweaked hamstring, so his mobility may be affected. If we can get a couple hits and a sack on him early he might start to rush some throws, giving the Vikings an opportunity to grab an interception.
Key #3: Keep a safety deep.
Key #3: Keep a safety deep.
We don't have a corner that can cover Megatron one-on-one over the course of an entire game. He's a threat to take it to the house at anytime and the Vikings can't let him beat them single-handedly.
Matchups To Watch:
Matchup #1: Jerome Simpson vs. Louis Delmas
The Vikings get their best deep threat receiver back after his 3 game suspension for smokin' the weed. Yes, Chong Simpson is fast and athletic while Delmas is a step slow for an NFL safety. I hope to see the Vikings take a couple shots deep.
Matchup #2: Christian Ponder vs. The World
Ponder played the best game of his career last week and still faces plenty of doubters and questions. This kid is dedicated (I can call him a kid because he's younger than me!). I mean, he dumped his girlfriend to focus on football! (And he could have any woman in MPLS) If CP7 follows up last week with another stellar performance against an average Lions defense it's time to throw those middle fingers up to everybody.
(Editor's Note: Kacie McDonnel, above, is CP7's now-ex-girlfriend. Also, 'gratuitous' is in the eye of the beholder)
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY QUARTERBACK NOW!
Mike's All Purpose Flour Lock Of The Week:
Running Back Adrian Peterson: 19 carries, 120 yards, 1 touchdown
Adrian has been consistently great against the Lions, topping 100 yards more times against Detroit than any other team. The longest run of his career came against the Lions, an 80 yard scamper back in 2009.
Final Takes:
Vikings beat the Niners, Niners beat the Lions, ergo Vikings should beat the Lions! Oh, if only it were that simple!
I don't see any reason the Vikings can't win this game if they come out with a solid gameplan and execute. They need to keep the balance of run/pass they had last week, which kept a great defense guessing all day.
I want to see 15-20 touches for Adrian, 5-6 intermediate throws to Rudolph, and at least 1-2 completions of 20+ yards to Chong Simpson. Add in the 9-10 receptions that Percy will get and there is no way we lose this game.
The Vikings discovered an identity last week for the first time since 2009. They now have the model for victory, it's just a matter of keeping it fresh and recreating it week after week. I find myself being legitimately excited about this squad. We've got the pieces, now let's put the puzzle together!
Win this game and the rest of the league will have to start respecting us as a legit playoff contender. Suck a dick, America, here comes the Purple!
FINAL SCORE:
Minnesota Vikings: 23
Detroit Lions: 20
Bam! 3-1 here we come! For more of the always entertaining Mike Otto, be sure to give him a follow on Twitter (@SwervinTaters). He'll be commenting on the game this Sunday in between creeper tweets directed at Kacie McDonnel.
Of course, this blog has a Twitter home too (@NewestIndustry1), which you should follow if you want to watch someone attempt to crush Mike's attempts to woo Ms. McDonnel. We're also on Facebook here. Stop by and give us a like and we will personally guarantee you that the Vikings will make the playoffs (guarantees not void on any planet consisting of vegetation).
Matchups To Watch:
Matchup #1: Jerome Simpson vs. Louis Delmas
The Vikings get their best deep threat receiver back after his 3 game suspension for smokin' the weed. Yes, Chong Simpson is fast and athletic while Delmas is a step slow for an NFL safety. I hope to see the Vikings take a couple shots deep.
Matchup #2: Christian Ponder vs. The World
Ponder played the best game of his career last week and still faces plenty of doubters and questions. This kid is dedicated (I can call him a kid because he's younger than me!). I mean, he dumped his girlfriend to focus on football! (And he could have any woman in MPLS) If CP7 follows up last week with another stellar performance against an average Lions defense it's time to throw those middle fingers up to everybody.
(Editor's Note: Kacie McDonnel, above, is CP7's now-ex-girlfriend. Also, 'gratuitous' is in the eye of the beholder)
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY QUARTERBACK NOW!
Mike's All Purpose Flour Lock Of The Week:
Running Back Adrian Peterson: 19 carries, 120 yards, 1 touchdown
Adrian has been consistently great against the Lions, topping 100 yards more times against Detroit than any other team. The longest run of his career came against the Lions, an 80 yard scamper back in 2009.
Final Takes:
Vikings beat the Niners, Niners beat the Lions, ergo Vikings should beat the Lions! Oh, if only it were that simple!
I don't see any reason the Vikings can't win this game if they come out with a solid gameplan and execute. They need to keep the balance of run/pass they had last week, which kept a great defense guessing all day.
I want to see 15-20 touches for Adrian, 5-6 intermediate throws to Rudolph, and at least 1-2 completions of 20+ yards to Chong Simpson. Add in the 9-10 receptions that Percy will get and there is no way we lose this game.
The Vikings discovered an identity last week for the first time since 2009. They now have the model for victory, it's just a matter of keeping it fresh and recreating it week after week. I find myself being legitimately excited about this squad. We've got the pieces, now let's put the puzzle together!
Win this game and the rest of the league will have to start respecting us as a legit playoff contender. Suck a dick, America, here comes the Purple!
FINAL SCORE:
Minnesota Vikings: 23
Detroit Lions: 20
Bam! 3-1 here we come! For more of the always entertaining Mike Otto, be sure to give him a follow on Twitter (@SwervinTaters). He'll be commenting on the game this Sunday in between creeper tweets directed at Kacie McDonnel.
Of course, this blog has a Twitter home too (@NewestIndustry1), which you should follow if you want to watch someone attempt to crush Mike's attempts to woo Ms. McDonnel. We're also on Facebook here. Stop by and give us a like and we will personally guarantee you that the Vikings will make the playoffs (guarantees not void on any planet consisting of vegetation).
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