Ten & Six With Mike Otto: Week 12 (Thursday Bonus!)

If you like fish & grits & all that pimp shit...

Well hello again, football fans!  Welcome to Ten & Six's Week 12 kickoff!

It's Thursday night, which means it's time for our old friend Mike Otto to ease his way into this week's action.  The Vikings head to Lambea Field to take on the Packers this Sunday, which means Mikey should have plenty to say when he breaks that game down on Saturday.

Tonight, however, brings an NFC South showdown between two franchises responsible for more than their share of the alcoholism that runs rampant among the Purple faithful: The New Orleans Saints and the Atlanta Falcons.

Mikey, who takes the W tonight?

New Orleans (8-2) at Atlanta (2-8)

What looked like a tantalizing late-season divisional matchup at the beginning of the season now has all the looks of an easy Saints victory.

Tony Gonzalez was mic'd up for last week's loss to the Bucs and before the game FOX went to the live feed of his mic.  The following quote is saddening, reeking of a guy who was dragged back to a team half-heartedly.

"It's Sunday, time for football.  Football hurts.  Yeah, I'm sore, what can you do?  This is football."

What can you do indeed.  That poor bastard.

The only thing sadder than those quotes is the Falcons receiving corps without Julio Jones.

In my opinion the Saints got bailed out against the Niners by a bullshit "roughing the passer" penalty where Drew Brees got absolutely destroyed by a clothesline that, while initially connecting with his chest, was flagged simply because of how violent the collision appeared.

THIS IS FOOTBALL! IT'S FUCKING VIOLENT FROM TIME TO TIME.

These players all signed up for it and, quarterbacks in particular, are compensated quite nicely to take the risks that come with clean hits just like that one.  Nanny state.

I'd like to tell Falcons fans their favorite team has a chance... wait... no I wouldn't.  Saints dismantle the dirt birds.

FINAL SCORE 

New Orleans: 38
Atlanta: 24

There you have it, folks!  Yet another victory for Drew Brees and his receding hairline!
 
As mentioned above, Mike will be back to take a look back at the Vikings loss in Seattle, break down Packers week, and make the rest of his league picks!

 

 

For more Mike Otto be sure to give him a follow on Twitter (@SwervinTaters).  He can also be found right here on Newest Industry contributing to our Trendsetting column.

 

For more Newest Industry be sure to give us a follow on Twitter (@NewestIndustry1) to stay up on the work being done by all of our contributors.  More importantly, we have a Facebook page here.  Trivial as it seems, stopping by and giving us a "Like" is a free & legitimate way to support the blog.

Your Name Is Wild: Week #7

It's not where you're from, where you're at, or where you're going...

Well hello again, Wild fans!  Welcome to Your Name Is Wild: Week #7!

For those of you who are new to the column, here's the scoop:  The NHL season is a long, tedious journey.  We decided that this season we would ask TCDroogsma of the blog Wildly Biased to stop by each week and give us an update on our local squad.

Droogsy, what'd we miss?

Hello, Wild fans!  Thanks for stopping by Newest Industry for your Wild fix.

The boys entered the week 10-4-4, a fine record that leaves them idling in the 3rd place in the ultra-competitive Central Division.  Fortunately, this week brought three very beatable teams to St. Paul: The Toronto Maple Leafs, Florida Panthers, & Winnipeg Jets.

Let's get into it.

The Week That Was

Wednesday 11/13 - Wild: 2  Toronto: 1 (SO)

Wednesday brought the Toronto Maple Leafs in town for the only time this season.  It presented an intriguing matchup.  When the team's met in Toronto last month the game became the major talking point of the first quarter of the season.  The Wild outshot the Leafs 37-14 in that game yet came out on the losing end of a 4-1 decision.  That game spawned goalie issues, jumpstarted Josh Harding's season, and led to Mike Yeo spending two weeks jumbling his lines in an effort to find more offense (because evidently 37 shots a game isn't enough).  Since then the Wild have found their game and the Leafs have struggled a bit.

The Leafs brought their Eastern Conference style of play to the Xcel Energy Center and nearly came away with two points.  They crossed the line several times during this game, playing overly physical to the point of detriment.  Early in the first period Leafs forward Nazem Kadri crashed into Wild goalie Niklas Backstrom (who was playing his first game in over a week), hitting in the head with his forearm and sending Backstrom to the dressing room with a concussion.

Josh Harding entered the game yet again and, after giving up a goal to Wild nemesis Mason Raymond in the second period, proceeded to shut the Leafs down for the rest of the game.  Unfortunately, another Wild nemesis loomed in net for the Toronto Maple Leafs: goaltender Jonathan Bernier.  Bernier was dominant for most of the night, eventually stopping 33 shots and weathering a series of Wild power play opportunities.

With Bernier looking confident and the Wild spinning their wheels offensively it looked like the Leafs were going to cruise to two points.  Things took a turn in the third period, however, when Nazem Kadri laid a dirty hit on Mikael Granlund.  Kadri was given a match penalty and the Wild were handed a five minute power play.  The less said about that PP the better, but the Wild did use that momentum to take control of the remainder of the period.  The Wild eventually tied up the game when Zach Parise's shot from the side of the net banked off a couple of skates and behind Bernier with just under 5:00 left in the game.

With no score in overtime the Wild found themselves back in the shootout for the third consecutive game.  Fortunately they'd gotten the shootout monkey off their back in Carolina.  Parise & Jason Pominville beat Bernier while Josh Harding stopped both Leafs players he faced.  Two points in the bank.

Wild Player Of The Game:  Josh Harding - By giving Backstrom the start, Mike Yeo was hoping to give Josh Harding a five day break (an incredible luxury after the workload Harding's taken on).  Of course, this being the Wild's goaltending we're talking about, that plan fell apart quickly.  Despite battling illness Harding stepped into the game and didn't miss a beat, holding down the fort while the rest of the team took their sweet ass time cashing a goal.  He was stellar in overtime and the shootout to preserve the victory.

Impression Of The Game:  One of the hallmarks of the really good teams is that they force their opponent to play their style of game.  The Wild are a finesse, puck possession team up against a grinding, physical team in the Maple Leafs.  For the first time in a while the Wild refused to change their style of play, which eventually paid off.  The fact that they pissed away five power play opportunities (including that five minute opportunity in the third) was a little troubling, though it's worth noting that Mike Yeo tampered with the PP units before the game.

Friday 11/15 - Wild: 3  Florida: 2

The Wild looked to continue their winning ways against a (supposedly) hapless Panthers squad.  The Panthers were playing their first game since trading center Kris Versteeg and only their third since firing their coach and handing over the reins to Peter Horacek.  In other words, it's been a completely normal Panthers season.

The Panthers played to type during the first period, allowing goals to Zach Parise & Jason Pominville.  They looked as if they double whammy of reconfigured lines and a new coaching system (and, frankly, a roster full of misfit toys) were too much go overcome against a Wild team that has been lights out in St. Paul.

Evidently the Wild felt the same way about the Panthers chances and took their foot off the gas.  The second period passed without either team scoring a goal.  The Panthers seemed to take this as a minor victory and came out flying in the third period.

The Panthers dominated most of the third period, eventually tying the game on goals by Tomas Kopecky & Jonathan Huberdeau.  Frustratingly, the Wild took that as a cue to start playing again.  Charlie Coyle snuck a shot behind Panthers goalie Tim Thomas, Josh Harding again bailed out the Wild, and two more points were in the bank.

Wild Player Of The Game:  Ryan Suter - Suter proved his value in this game by virtue of not being on the ice.  For the first time in weeks Mike Yeo decided to go easy on the stud defenseman, playing him under 30:00 on the night.  What happened?  The Wild nearly pissed away a game they should have dominated.  Suter ended up with the second assist on Coyle's game-winning goal.

Impression Of The Game:  The chatter out of the Wild's dressing room after the game was that the Wild "learned a lesson" Friday night.  Allegedly they learned not to take any opponent lightly, even if it is the Panthers.  The fact that, for some reason, this lesson needs to be learned at least once each season doesn't shine the kindest light on the intelligence of hockey players.  The Wild need to hold serve at home and, ugly as it was, a win against a team like the Panthers is a must.

 Sunday 11/17 - Wild: 2  Winnipeg: 1

With two curious wins over Eastern Conference foes in the bank, the Wild welcomed division rival Winnipeg to St. Paul for a Sunday night showdown.

The last time the Jets were in town the game became a springboard for the Wild's season.  The Wild notched their first win of the year, outshot the Jets 30-15, and started scratching the surface of just what this squad was capable of.  Since then the Wild have maintained a pretty high level of play.  The Jets, on the other hand, struggled through the first month of the season, but have recently found their game on the strength of forward Bryan Little & defenseman Dustin Byfuglien.

With hundreds of Jets fans making a ruckus in the Xcel Energy Center, the Wild came out swinging.  They dominated the first period and holding the Jets to just two shots on goal.  Captain Mikko Koivu gave the Wild a 1-0 lead at the 16:37 mark of the third period.  The game was shaping up as a reminder to the Jets that, little hot streak aside, they aren't in the Southeast Division anymore.

Much like the Panthers game, however, the Wild struggled for the rest of the night.  Unlike the Panthers game, it didn't appear that they took their foot off the gas.  This really isn't the old Southeast Division.

The Jets took over the game during the second period, firing 14 shots at Josh Harding and stifling the Wild's speed-and-skill style with a nice mix of speed and physicality.

That momentum finally paid off early in the third period when Dustin Byfuglien, pinching in from the blue line, tipped  Bryan Little shot behind Josh Harding just 54 seconds into the period.  The ensuing 15 minutes was a back-and-forth batttle with each team throwing punches.  Finally, at the 16:48, captain Mikko Koivu landed the knockout blow when he one-timed a a Charlie Coyle shot from between the circles.

Wild Player Of The Game:  Mikko Koivu - During the Maple Leafs game at the start of the week Mikko Koivu ended up in a shouting match with Leafs forward Matt Stajan.  From that moment on Koivu & the Wild's first line dominated the week.  He's taken a lot of heat this season, but game's like this one serve as a staunch reminder of just why Koivu where's the "C."

Impression Of The Game:  Another frustrating showing for the Wild.  Against the Panthers & Jets the Wild strung together two and a half solid periods of hockey and came away with all four available points.  The Wild needs to beat the teams behind them, but efforts like this won't be enough when the schedule ramps up over the next month.

The Week Ahead

Tuesday 11/19 - Wild at Montreal

The Wild spend the week in Canada, starting with Tuesday's game in Montreal.  The game represents a homecoming for Wild defenseman Marco Scandella as the Wild faceoff against a Habs.  This is the Wild's second of two games against Montreal this season.  The first, in St. Paul, was one of the most exciting games of the early season with the Wild coming out on top 4-3.

Wednesday 11/20 - Wild at Ottawa

Calling Dany Heatley's season "disappointing" is a disservice to the concept of disappointment.  Here's hoping that Heater's return to the scene of greatest on-ice seasons rekindles the old fire.  If that doesn't do it, perhaps a night of merciless booing will stoke his competitive fire.

Saturday 11/23 - Wild at Winnipeg

Game 3 of 5 against the Jets and the Wild's first trip to Winnipeg in years.  They'll have to bring their best game to top a Jets team that is traditionally (well, for the last couple seasons) been a handful at the MTS Centre.

The Big Picture

Another unbeaten week and the Wild still find themselves in third place in the Central.  That's a testament to just what a struggle this season is going to be no matter how well the Wild play.  The Wild has struggled on the road this season, so it's very important that they get points in each of these games.  The next week brings games against St. Louis, Phoenix, and a home-and-home with the Avalanche.  Banking points in Canada would make that stretch of games a lot less stressful.

Until next week...

 

 

For more of TCDroogsma's hockey ramblings be sure to give him a follow on Twitter (@WildlyBiased).  He can also be found writing about the Wild in greater detail on his hockey blog Wildly Biased.

 

For more Newest Industry be sure to give us a follow on Twitter (@NewestIndustry1) to stay up on the work being done by all of our contributors.  More importantly, we have a Facebook page here.  Trivial as it seems stopping by & giving us a "Like" is a free & legitimate way to support the blog.

Songs Of The Week #66: TCDroogmsa & MinneSarah

Best Coast, Naughty Boy, RJD2, Deltron 3030, & No Bird Sing...

Well hello again, MP3 junkies!  Welcome to Songs Of The Week #66!

For those of you who are new to the SOTW column, here's the story:  TCDroogsma and MinneSarah are both fans of The Current's Song Of The Day podcast.  They're also both opinionated and have access to computers.  Seeing an opportunity to let them indulge in their MP3 habit and put them to work writing reviews we created the Songs Of The Week column.  Over a year later later and here we are.

As always, we strongly suggest that you follow this link and subscribe to the podcast yourself.  It's free and it's fun for the whole family!

To that end, once you've given each song a spin or two, feel free to cast a vote for your favorite song of the week in the poll to the right side of the page.  The artist who accrues the most votes wins the validation that comes from winning an anonymous internet poll, arguably the loftiest height to which a modern musician can aspire.

As per tradition TCDroogsma and MinneSarah have not read each other's reviews prior to posting

So... Droogsy, Sarah... thoughts?


01.  Best Coast - Lonely Morning (from the EP Fade Away)

TCDroogsma:

     I've never liked Best Coast.  Their songs are inoffensively bland, but the indie media's insistence that I give a shit about this woman & her cat was just too much.  That was two or three years ago.  Here we have "This Lonely Morning," a by-the-numbers pop-rock number that sounds as if Rivers Cuomo decided he had enough material for Raditude and sold this one off to the highest bidder.  While there's no inherent sin in regurgitating old ideas, there's nothing interesting about it either.


MinneSarah:

     About ten years ago, Greg Behrendt changed the course of psychology forever by unequivocally proclaiming, "He's not that into you."  Since then, I have had a harder time discerning the nuances of relationships in song lyrics - let's not look desperate, he's probably not interested.  But...sometimes timing just doesn't work out and this song has convinced me to go against popular belief and think, "It's going to get better - it's just an off morning!"

     I'm torn - while this West Coast surf revival is starting to wear on me, I have to recognize that Best Coast were the ones that brought it into mainstream indie.  This song is polished, focused, and spot on to the genre (with a hint of shoegaze).  Bethany's vocals are direct and full, and the rest of the song is tight and to the point.  If, like me, you are having to pare down your indie beach rock collection, this is one not to cut. 

Final Score - TCDroogsma: 1.5/5
                     MinneSarah: 3/5

02.  Naughty Boy (w/Sam Smith) - La La La (from the album Hotel Cabana)

TCDroogsma:

     As I see it, there's two interesting sides to "La La La."

     First, the musical side.  Naughty Boy and Sam Smith are completely and unapologetically aiming for the Top 40.  "La La La" is packed to the gills with gender indifferent lyrics casting the widest net possible.  The hook is aimed straight for the pleasure center of the brain while the sampled, skewed "La la la's..." aim for the part of the brain that makes you think you have "interesting" taste in music.

     Which brings me to the second side: Presentation.  This song was conceived solely to end up on the KDWB's of the world and move units.  Now, make no mistake, KDWB is awesome.  I would rather listen to Trey Songz than Tom Waits every day forever.  But the fact that this song is on The Current speaks to that station's infatuation with packaging, presentation, & pointless contrarianism.  With the words "Naughty Boy & Sam Smith" atop a smarty retro-designed "LP" (re: Soundcloud avatar), The Current eats it up.  If it turned out "Naughty Boy" was actually will.i.am and those skewed samples were Fergie the "tastemakers" at The Current wouldn't give it another spin.

MinneSarah:

     Oh wow.  This collaboration between British DJ Naughty Boy and up and coming soul revival vocalist Sam Smith, is unexpected on t\The Current - while I copped to not actually listening to the Current anymore on last week's reviews - has it come to this?

     Let me back up by saying I love British music, I love anything with an electronic drive to it, Eurotrash is one of my favorite cultural exports, and I just went to Sneaky Pete's in the Warehouse District this week, finally finding out what that Robin Thicke character is all about.  So my surprise is not inherently a bad sign.  The lyrics are about tuning out anything you don't want to hear - la la la.  This song gives credibility to ostrich avoidance techniques.  As a person who deletes at least one contact from my phone per week, I'm totally on board.
 
Final Score - TCDroogsma: 3/5
                     MinneSarah: 3/5

03.  RJD2 - Her Majesty's Socialist Request (from th album More Is Than Isn't)

TCDroogsma:

     I can't help but feel for RJD2.  Back in the early 2000's, when he was making killer beats for the finally-making-their-mark indie rap world everybody thought he was the future of hip-hop.  However, part of what made that early work so great was that RJD2 was clearly following his own muse.  When that muse led him to get behind the microphone and morph into the singer/songwriter/producer for The Third Hand, he was basically left behind by those early fans.

     I thought The Third Hand was an interesting record, but it's nearly impossible to compare to RJ's early work.  Unfortuanately, "Her Majesty's Socialist Request" continues his half-hearted attempt to win back his old fans without necessarily jamming himself into the old "hip-hop producer" box.  While that strategy has worked well before (See: 2011's "The Glow"), this one's lacking.  It has an RJ-by-numbers feel to it that seems like it will elicit little more than a "meh..." from both sides of his fanbase.

MinneSarah:

     Instrumental songs can drag on, though "Her Majesty's Socialist Request," keeps interest by drifting through and building on disparate genres to create a song that flows and works.  Handclaps are the main percussion through this song - and it vacillates from the bravado of the streets of big city America to a mellow dissonant Middle Eastern vibe.  There are no lyrics, but a sample of a man saying - "Buy," "Sell," "Soul" with the sound of a bomb exploding does drive the song's title home without much room for interpretation.  The song leaves on a sample that sounds like a seventies TV show, but it works the nostalgia end and makes sense as a closer. 

Final Score - TCDroogsma: 2.5/5
                     MinneSarah: 3.5/5

04.  Deltron 3030 (w/Zack De La Rocha) - Melding Of The Minds (from the album Event 2)

TCDroogsma:

     Fun fact:  Since the release of Deltron 3030 back in 2001 Del hasn't stopped being awesome.  Actually, he was pretty awesome before that album finally launched him up the hip-hop ladder.  Unfortunately for Del, a lot of those new fans he found with the first Deltron album had no interest in following along once "Deltron" stopped rapping about the future and returned to being Del The Funky Homosapien and all the Bay Area rapping that came with it.

     I suppose I can't blame Del for returning to the Deltron format.  It's his most recognizable (and most profitable name) and there's no sense just letting it stay on the shelf.  On "Melding Of The Minds" he teams up with Zack de la Rocha, another man who knows a thing or two about how fans fall along when groups breakup (I know people who still make me listen to "Killing In The Name."  I don't know anybody who owns a One Day As A Lion record).  On "Melding Of The Minds" Deltron takes de la Rocha's hook and spins it into part of his narrative about a war in the future.  Somehow this all makes sense.

MinneSarah:

     It's 2013, and hip-hop supergroups are a thing.  While I reached the pinnacle of my approval with this genre in 2002 with Gorillaz, Deltron 3030 is carrying the torch in a way that doesn't even make me feel that old.

     "Melding of the Minds" features guest vocals by Zach de la Rocha, so you know the bent of the song is at least slightly political.  Del's rhymes are clean and sound effortless - he fits a remarkable amount of lyrics into 4 minutes. Kid Koala's beats sound increasingly urgent, which builds the song up into an almost exhausting fervor.  However, for a song featuring heavyweight musicians with unquestionable talent and passion, "Melding of the Minds," still has enough sense of play and whimsy for it to be both serious and enjoyable.

Final Score - TCDroogsma: 3.5/5
                     MinneSarah: 3/5

05.  No Bird Sing (w/Molly Dean) - And War (from the album Definition Sickness)

TCDroogsma:

     I'm still not certain what to make of the direction No Bird Sing has taken with "And War" (and the other tracks on Definition Sickness).

     Up until this album No Bird Sing operated as a sort of art-rap Kill The Vultures.  Where Crescent Moon rapped about his own demons over sparse, kitchen sink beats, Joe Horton & No Bird Sing took a more "poetic' approach.  The instrumentation was sparse, but rather than the rough sounds of KTV, they leaned heavily on live, jazz-like instrumentation.  Horton's lyrics are certainly cryptic, but unlike the world-weary Crescent Moon, Horton sported a young man's anger and optimism at the world around him.  The main similarity between both artists was that their voices were definitely the most important instrument in their toolbox.

     "And War" takes No Bird Sing in a different direction.  The jazz-leaning tendencies have been replaced by synth-lines and massive drums, leaving the beat sounding like Ryan Olson remixing Peter Gabriel.  The problem with such a lush & consuming beat is that it leaves Horton's voice one of many moving parts.  Oddly, this takes away from the lyrics of the song.  I may not have been able to make out what he was driving at on old NBS songs, but when that voice is upfront & passionate it's easy to find yourself spending time trying to unravel the string.  "And War" never demands your attention in the same way, content to let you bask in the sound rather than the lyrics.

MinneSarah:

     "And War" is a downbeat song, weaving ethereal backing vocals and heavy drum beats with serious lyrics.  No Bird Sing has a poetic approach to songwriting, meaning the lyrics can be up for interpretation.  The lyrics are passionately delivered and dark, though not always totally coherent, they still make the point.   Molly Dean's bittersweet vocals add to the sense of hope in a dark world vibe that this song has going.  While I haven't listened to much downbeat hip-hop in recent years, it sounds as though No Bird Sing has a firm hold on the genre, and rather than causing the listener to feel hopeless, "And War" embraces the darker side of the coin without going over the edge.

Final Score - TCDroogsma: 3/5
                     MinneSarah: 3/5

Well there you have it, MP3 junkies!  Another week's worth of songs downloaded, reviewed, & filed away!

As always, please keep in mind that neither Newest Industry nor our contributors are in any way affiliated with the artists above, The Current, or MPR.  We're just music fans with laptops and a bit too much time on our hands.

For more TCDroogsma be sure to give him a follow on Twitter (@TCDroogsma).  He can also be found right here on Newest Industry hosting our free weekly podcast Flatbasset Radio

For more MinneSarah be sure to give her a follow on Twitter (@MinneSarah).  She can also be found right here on Newest Industry filing reports out of St. Paul for our Big Day Out column







For more Newest Industry be sure to give us a follow on Twitter (@NewestIndustry1) to stay up on the work being done by all of our contributors.  More importantly, we have a Facebook page here.  Trivial as it seems, stopping by and giving us a "Like" is a free & legitimate way to support the blog.

Ten & Six With Mike Otto: Week 11 - Minnesota Vikings at Seattle Seahawks (Plus Picks!)

I read Seattle Times, I watch Seattle news...

Well hello again, fooball fans! Welcome to Ten & Six: Week 11!

The Vikings are riding high after defeating the Redskins last Thursday night.  This week they find themselves in Seattle, the sight of last season's lowest moment of the year.  They'll be squaring off against former teammate Percy Harvin, All-American boy Russell Wilson, and head coach Pete Carroll, history's greatest monster.

Mikey, what do we have to look forward to this week?

Welcome back football fans!

It was a wild week in the NFL and my picks went 8-6 as a result. Not terrible but well below the accuracy I strive for. That has been the story of my prognostication season thus far, so lets see if I can change some things this week. Lets make some picks!

New York Jets (5-4) at Buffalo (3-7) 

Welcome young and old, to the 2013 Shitbowl Of The Northeast!

This yawner certainly means something to someone somewhere, but absolutely nothing to this guy right here. Almost less than nothing. If you told me tomorrow that the Bills and Jets ceased to exist any longer on our plane of reality, I would shrug my shoulders and go about my day without any second thought of it.

One thing I have learned. If anything goes wrong in your life, it makes you feel better to blame Rex Ryan. Jets win (tries to scrub dirt off, can't scrub hard enough) 20-16.

Atlanta (2-7) at Tampa Bay (1-8)

The Falcons and Texans fanbases should play a pick up basketball game with the winner being awarded the Saddest Fan Base Of 2013 trophy.

Expectations for the Falcons was sky high this year and don't look now, but they have no more wins than our beloved Purple.

The Bucs are riding a high after their win against the controversy-maligned Dolphins. It would have been funny if the Bucs fired Shiano after his first win just to shake things up and further confuse their elderly fan base. I saw what a Mike Glennon looks like without a helmet on for the 1st time on Monday night and Jesus Christ! He looks like one of Santa's elves spawned with a Scandinavian farm hand. Falcons win 19-17.

Detroit (6-3) at Pittsburgh (3-6)

So Big Ben might be unhappy in the Steel City? Maybe what's really bothering Ben is the fact his second kid is on the way and his days of groping 4-out-of-10's are long gone. His rape scope is dusty and on the shelf. His hands aren't nearly as clammy as they used to be. He just isn't the same guy anymore. Sure, he's still a big tall idiot, but that's not unique! God, I'd want a change of scenery too. Stay the fuck out of Minnesota, Rapistberger! Lions win 27-17 and strengthen their hold on the NFC North lead. Nobody has had to write that sentence since 1991.

Washington (3-6) at Philadelphia (5-5)

The NFC East is pathetic and still very much up for grabs mainly because everyone in the division is marginal at best. I can't wait for the Cowboys to choke this division away in December, and that will happen. It doesn't really matter who comes out of the NFC East, they are going to be one and done.

Personally, I think it's going to be the Eagles, which may upset a certain great bulk buying mind I know, but hey, the truth hurts, I keep it real. Disregard the last sentence if you were at all confused by it. Also, frig off, ten people who read this column and didn't understand that. WE DON'T NEED YOU. Just kidding, I desperately need you, don't judge me IT'S JUST A COUPLE DRINKS OK?!?!? I HAVE CATS I'M NOT REALLY DRINKING ALONE! Eagles win 28-27.

Arizona (4-6) at Jacksonville (1-8) 

Could it be two in a row for the Jags? No, no it can't.

Worth noting: The Jaguars last 2 wins have come against the Titans though. Getting owned by the Jags hurts. 

The Cards defense is far to good to lose this game, and the Jags defense could make Scott Tolzien look like a decent QB. Larry Fitzgerald and Carson Palmer could probably win this game by themselves without an offensive line. I think the Jags got their only win of the year last week. Cards win easy 24-10.

Oakland (3-6) at Houston (2-7)

I kind of like this scrappy Raiders team. They aren't going to the playoffs or anything close, but they seem to be heading in a positive direction. They've been in most every game, some of them against quality teams. 

They run into a Texans team that is hungry for a win and starving for decent quarterback play. Detective Case Keenum can't seem to solve an NFL defense, or the mystery of the Central Park Strangler. You're about to ride the pine, Keenum! Texans pull out a win 16-13.

Baltimore (4-5) at Chicago (5-4)

Jay Cutler looked like an old man last week. Bum groin, bum ankle, bum brain, just BUM. He was obviously playing hurt and didn't get the win he so desperately wanted. I would bet Josh McCown starts this weekend and, going up against Joe Flacco, I actually like his chances.

The Ravens have struggled to string together multiple wins all year, and Flacco has looked pedestrian. Almost like they are still celebrating their championship from last year. Bears get the "W", 24-21.

Cleveland (4-5) at Cincinnati (6-4)

I really used up my reservoir of Ohio jokes the first time these two teams met. Amateur mistake. Can't blow the whole load at once, daddy might get called on again later. Yeah, shit just got weird.

The Bengals lost a game that the Ravens tried to give them a few different ways. Every time I see Marvin Lewis patrolling the Bengals sideline, I am, at first, fucking amazed, and second, impressed. He has held an icy, death-like grip on an often terrible franchise through all the bullshit, Chad Johnson Ochocinco, Terrell Owens, Carson Palmer, Akili Smith...ok not Akili Smith but it sure seems like it! Good on you, Marv. Bengals win 26-20.

San Diego (4-5) at Miami (4-5)

Richie Incognito should have acted more like his name suggests. The Dolphins offensive line is in shambles and it was easily noticeable in their loss to the lowly Buccaneers. Tannehill was under constant pressure to produce, and not just by that wife of his. The result was about what you would expect, abject failure. Tannehill is a poor man's Phillip Rivers at best, and that isn't a great recipe for success. Chargers win one on the road, 23-16.

Green Bay (5-4) at New York Giants (3-6)

The only good news for the Packers is Clay Matthews doesn't have to wear that ridiculous club on his right hand that rendered him about as useful as you would expect a one-armed linebacker to be. Aaron Rodgers said he finally was able to sleep through the night. It's unknown if he was being woken up due to pain from his injury or from the Mike McCarthy sexually-based night terrors he has suffered from since being drafted. Eli and the Giants win a close one, 20-19.

San Francisco (6-3) at New Orleans (7-2)

The Niners could easily be looking at their second loss in a row if Colin Kaepernick can't find a way out of this sophomore slump he has been mired in ever since dominating the Packers in the opening week.

Drew Brees is definitely not a sophomore and not in any sort of slump. the man is five feet ten inches of unstoppable quarterbacking fury. What would the Dolphins be like today if they had went after Brees instead of Daunte Culpepper all those year ago? Ha ha, sorry to twist that old rusty knife Dolphins fans, but Christ, your team fucked that one up. Kaepernick can't find his stride, saints win 31-20.

Kansas City (9-0) at Denver (8-1)

The game of the week! Peyton Manning took a beating last weekend and got an MRI that came back negative for any type of personality.

Dwayne Bowe, on the other hand, now there's a guy with some edge to him. Bowe was picked up for littering and, littering and, littering and...SMOKING THE REEFER. A little pot. Big deal. Wait, it was how much pot? Damn Dwayne! Wassup big dog holler, at your boy!

Alex Smith is going to have to throw a couple passing touchdowns to hang with the Peytie Manny and well, he certainly is due for a multi-touchdown game. It's going to be a close one and fun to watch, I think Manning gets knocked around early and thrown off his game, but battles back in the 4th to get the "W". Broncos win 29-27.

New England (7-2) at Carolina (6-3)

That Panthers defense has been playing out of their minds ever since the Vikings game, their Front 7 in particular. Not to mention they have the best "guy that sounds like a horse" in the league, Captain Muderland. Annnd DOWN THE STRETCH THEY COME!!!

If Killa Cam can upstage Captain America on national TV, the Panthers will all but solidify their status as a legitimate threat to make some noise in the playoffs. I'm as shocked as anybody that Ron Rivera is finding success this season, but I don't think there is another team in the league where said success has so little to do with coaching. With the Panthers defense flying around like it is, you don't need the gameplan to be as sound as say, the Cleveland Browns do, to win a game. The Panthers hot streak keeps rolling and they win 20-17. 

That's it, folks. On to the main event!

 MINNESOTA VIKINGS (2-7) at SEATTLE SEAHAWKS (9-1)

The Vikings actually managed to win a game! The streets were rich with purple celebration after last Thursdays victory and the Vikings got to enjoy a long weekend off to rest up, relax, or get DWI's.

Christian Ponder played his best game of the year and got a little bit banged up in the process. With the long week to heal it looks as though young Mr. Ponder will wear a harness on his left shoulder and give it a go. Yipee. Hooray. WOO-FUCKING-HOO!

Now that I've got my excitement under control I think we're ready to look at some positive(s) and negatives from the game against Warshington. As always, the positive(s) first.

Positive(s):

-Litchfield's Own Jon Carlson!  After his 7 catch, 98 yard performance, Jon Carlson has officially become the most successful thing to ever come out of Litchfield. It only took him two and a half years to produce anything worthwhile for this team so let's all give him a nice pat on the back.

-Adrian Peterson  He is leading the league with 9 rushing touchdowns and really put the team on his back in the 4th quarter. He drained the clock with punishing runs, weakening the defense in the process. Without this guy on the team, the Vikings wouldn't have a single win, much less a gaudy TWO wins. The heart and soul of this team deserves a nod every week.

-Ponder  I begrudgingly add him to this list of positives even though he didn't finish the game, he showed a lot of heart and even a little personality. It was a nice change of pace from the tasteless box of mashed potatoes we usually get from Ponder. Now who knows, if Ponder plays the 4th quarter he might throw a pick six or do something else ridiculously Ponder-esque but we can't necessarily hold that against him. He played his first three solid quarters of football since last year. 

Negatives:

-Same Old Shit  The defense went into some type of zone prevent and was 6 yards away from completely crumbling once again. Erin Henderson got away with holding in the end zone which would have put the ball on the one yard line. This coaching staff does not handle late game situations well at all. What else is new?

-Leslie Frazier's Final-Minute Time Out  I will give him this, it was really fucking gutsy to call that time out. He was watching Washington march down the field with ease and he says his guys were gassed. OK, I believe you. If he takes that time out and the Redskins score on the next play, I don't think Leslie Frazier is the head coach for this game. An unconventional choice for sure, and all is well that ends well, but your goddamn defense should be playing in a scheme that gets a stop before the fucking goal line.

-Josh Freeman's Movember "Mustache"  I've seen thicker hair on a cancer patient. That pube-stache was so very disappointing. I'm just thankful that November is half over already.

Three Keys To A Vikings Victory:

Key #1:  Force Some Turnovers

Seattle is simply going to destroy time of possession unless the Vikings can get some fumble recoveries or interceptions. The Vikings need to average one take away a quarter and finish AT LEAST +2 in the take/give to even have a chance in this game. It would also help if Ponder threw for more than 60 yards this time around.

Key #2:  Score A Special Teams Touchdown

The Vikings need points from every unit if they are going to win. Cordarrelle Patterson or Marcus Sherels need to take a kickoff/punt to the house. Not only is it quick points, but provides a real spark and swings momentum to the Vikings side. This would also be a great game for the Vikings second defensive touchdown of the year so, if anybody wanted to make that happen, it'd be great.

Key #3:  Get Really Fucking Lucky

The Vikings are going to need every bounce to go their way in order to win. Every stupid penalty, missed field goal, dropped pass has to go in the Purple's favor. Aside from all that, the Vikings only need to play a perfect fucking game and they should be just fine.

Two Matchups To Watch:

Matchup #1: Percy Harvin vs. His Old Squad

Percy last played an NFL game in Seattle ironically, as a member of the Vikings. We all remember that game. Ponder sucked, Percy blew up on Leslie on the sideline and he never took another snap in Purple. Harvin was traded to the Seahawks, and has yet to suit up for them while recovering from hip surgery.

As I predicted in my Vikings Season Preview, this would be Harvin's first game back (That's just about the only thing I predicted correctly in that preview). Well that prediction has come to fruition, and it adds a certain level of intrigue to what would normally be thought of as an easy NFL blowout.

One of the main reasons I think the Vikings have a chance in this one is because a lot of the guys on this team want to stick it to Percy. Spite and revenge are some great motivators. I guarantee all Ponder has been thinking about is out-performing Russell Wilson and showing Percy a thing or two. I think Percy's snaps will be limited in order to ease him back in, but if the Vikings showcase the tackling they did in the first half against Washington, Percy Harvin (and Marshawn Lynch) are going to do whatever they want. It should be interesting, I know I will be watching closely.

 Matchup #2:  Cordarrelle Patterson vs. Richard Sherman & Co.

The rookie is likely to get his 1st start in the NFL due to Jerome "Where's My Mirror" Simpson's arrest and I'm excited to see what he does with increased in-game snaps. I have high hopes for this kid, and I think we are looking at the Vikings future #1 wide receiver. If he can have a solid game against this defense, he can do it against anyone in the NFL. It's a tough first start for the rookie but I think he has a couple big plays on Sunday.

Mike's All-Purpose Flour Lock Of The Week

Adrian Peterson, running back, YOUR Minnesota Vikings!

He went for 180 and two TD's last year in the same stadium and AP has had to listen to comparisons to Marshawn Lynch all week. AP will be out to prove just why he is the best back in football. 120 Yards/2TD. 

Final Takes

On paper, the Vikings are set to get absolutely destroyed by the Seahawks.

This game is going to have a high level of intensity, I think it's going to be closer than many people think, even into the 4th quarter.

The odds are stacked against our beloved Purple an I wouldn't be surprised if they lost by two TD's. I also wouldn't be surprised if they lost on a last second field goal/touchdown. I will however, be very surprised if the Vikings find a way to pull this one out.

Ponder plays better than his last trip to Seattle, but I don't think he finishes the game either. He is going to get hit often and I think one of those hits will knock him out of the contest. Vikings perform admirably, but fall short.

Final Score

Minnesota Vikings: 24
Seattle Seahawks:  27

There you have it, folks!  A tough loss for The Purple in Seattle.  Look on the bright side, though:  At least you don't live in Seattle.

For more Mike Otto be sure to give him a follow on Twitter (@SwervinTaters).  The line between sad & entertaining runs awfully thin on a Sunday.  He can also be found right here on Newest Industry contributing to our Trendsetting column.

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