Meal Time! #5: TCDroogsma at World Street Kitchen

Come on over tonight, come on over this morning...

Well hello again, our hungry friends!

Welcome back to our restaurant review column Meal Time! (it's supposed to be read like Mail Time! from Pardon The Interruption.  Get it?  Not sports fans?  That's cool.).  It's been quite a while since we sent old TCDroogsma out into the world to eat some food, but this week we managed to scrub him clean and send him on his way down Lyndale to check out World Street Kitchen.

Droogsy, what'd you think?

Well hey there, everybody.  It's been quite some time since I was tasked with sitting down and writing one of these food reviews.  As you can probably imagine, I've eaten many a meal since I last sat down to chat with you, I just haven't written about them.

Anyway, Newest Industry asked me to get back on my meal time grind, so I thought I'd take stroll down to 27th & Lyndale and check out World Street Kitchen.  Word on the street is that they have pretty solid vegan food.  They're also known for staying open late and trying to loosen the stranglehold Pizza Luce & Caffrey's have held on post-drunky time meals for years.

Now, seeing as how I'm pretty much incapable of staying awake past 7:30 at night I figured it would be best if I took stopped by for lunch on my day off.  Like a damn fool, I showed up at about 2:30, a half an hour before happy hour starts.  I'm, uh... I'm not a smart man.  I was, however, a hungry, non-hungover man, only half of which is typical on a Tuesday afternoon.

(Pro Tip #1:  Don't show up 30 minutes before happy hour. Droogs did that, so hopefully you won't have to go through that.)

Admittedly, I didn't know quite what to expect from World Street Kitchen.  Is this a place like Luce's where you sit down and order from a server?  Is it like Caffrey's where you order and stand around waiting while people make your food and give you sideways glances like you're an asshole?  Was it some sort of hybrid ala Bad Waitress?

Well, turns out you walk in, glance at the big, McDonald's-esque menu, order, and take a number & a seat.

Now, I'll be honest, I did have a look at World Street Kitchen's menu online before I stopped in.  As a vegan, this is a crucial move with any restaurant.  After giving it a look I came to the conclusion that I was going to give the "Bangkok Burrito w/Marinate Tofu" a go.

I should point out one quick thing before I proceed: I don't like burritos.  My generation has made it seem like burritos are nature's perfect food and frankly, I couldn't disagree more.  Burritos are the meal time equivalent of communism.  All parts are created equal, distributed equally, and wrapped in a tortilla for flavor-mixing convenience (fuck those bourgeois forks!). On paper, it seems like a brilliant idea.

However, to quote the philosopher Homer Simpson, "In theory, communism works. In theory." Much like applied communism, burritos don't work.  That theoretical "equal parts flavor explosion" doesn't exist.  Instead, you get one bite of lettuce, one bite of tofu, one bite of salsa, etc... If we've learned nothing from the work of George Orwell, it's that all parts may be created equal, but some are more equal than others.  The tortilla typically falls apart, spilling the proletariat ingredients everywhere and requiring the iron-fist rule of a wrapper to keep the whole thing together.  To put it bluntly, burritos suck.

So, with all that in mind, World Street Kitchen was looking at an uphill battle to win me over with this Bangkok Burrito.

Anyway, I sauntered up to the cash register, ordered my Bangkok Burrito.  Figuring that the burrito needed all the help it could get in this review, I also ordered a Grain Belt.  Sure, it was 2:30 on a Tuesday and I'd only been awake for 4 hours.  It was my day off.  Fuck you.

I was given my order number:

22! Clutterbuck status!

Well, I took my number and found a seat.  As you can see, the place was not particularly jumpin'.  Looks like I'm the only one who missed out on the "Happy Hour Starts At 3" memo.  As always, I'm an idiot.

Fortunately, the booze gods were feeling generous this Tuesday afternoon.  Moments after I sat down my cashier came over to inform me that the Grain Belt keg was empty and, "Would you like to have a different beer instead?"  Summit Saga it is!

(Pro Tip #2: Order the cheap beer on the days the keg is empty.  You will then be upgraded to more delicious beer for free.  Admittedly, this is a tough trick to pull off.  This is why I get paid the big bucks people.)




Anyway, I'm hungry. Let's do this:

(Cue the horns)

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the Bangkok Burrito with Marinated Tofu!

So here's the story so far:

Location: World Street Kitchen at 27th & Lyndale
Time Of The Day: 2:30 in the afternoon
Level Of Sobriety: Total, but trending downward
Dirty Player Status: Clutterbuck hits clean! Not like your team's grinders!
Meal: Bangkok Burrito with Marinated Tofu
To The Side: Nothing, no one, nothing around for miles
Beverage: Summit Saga at Grain Belt prices
Menu Price: Burrito: $8.00, Beer: $5.00
Total Price w/Tip: $14.00

Upon initial presentation, I was underwhelmed (if that's a word).  I mean, we can all agree that utensils are the tools of capitalist pigs, but could a dude at least get a plate?  This ain't a damn county fair!

Anyway, I unwrapped the foil of the oppressors and gave this thing a taste.  First impression, kind of bland but not bad.  The cooks did a very nice job of getting the tofu to have a nice, crispy outside and a chewy inside.  Wisely, the burrito consists of little besides rice, tofu, a bit of greens, and a pretty mild coconut curry sauce.


The burrito held its structure nicely as I worked my way through and the burrito was assembled in such a manner that I was actually able to get equal parts tofu, rice, and greens with each bite.  Good work by the folks behind the counter to solve one of the larger burrito problems (mixing all the flavors together) by conceding a smaller problem (not very many ingredients).



About three quarters of the way through this thing I found myself less full as much as I was bored.  It was OK, but the lack of flavor made the burrito seems like a bit of an endurance test.  However, I managed to put the whole thing down like a fuckin' champ.  I didn't pay non-happy hour prices for a burrito to not eat it all.

Now, considering that the burrito was almost exclusively rice & tofu, it wasn't the most filling thing in the world.  In hindsight, coming away with a more filling beer (Summit Saga) rather than Grain Belt turned out to be a godsend as it made the whole meal significantly more filling than it would have been had my order been presented properly.

So that's the meal.  Let's break this thing down:

Flavor: 5/10 - By making the aforementioned trade-off, the burrito bets heavily on the coconut curry flavor.  I'd call that bet a push.  It's pretty delicious, but a bit too subtle to be exciting.

Filling: 8/10 - As I mentioned, part of this was the beer choice, but this meal did turn out to be pretty filling.  Of course, for $14 it better be.

Price: 5/10 - Considering a burrito of comparable size, Chipotle's veggie burrito is cheaper and contains more ingredients.  None of those ingredients, however, are as awesome as marinated tofu.  Trading out the salsa/guac mix for marinated tofu & coconut curry is definitely worth $1.25.

Ambiance: 4/10 - The place has that oddly sterile, bare beams & metal look that screams "Hipster focus group."  The music was much the same, with T. Rex, dubstep, & Hot Chip all making high-volume appearances during my visit.  Still, the place was spacious with booths, a bar, and individual tables.  I could definitely see this working well as a drunky meal spot.

Service: 8/10 - There wasn't a huge amount of interaction, but the woman at the cash register was quite pleasant and seemed genuinely apologetic for running out of Grain Belt and forcing my beer upgrade.  I call that a win.

What Type Of Communism Is This Burrito?: Definitely the Swedish style.  It's bland, filling, & efficient.  If this had been the Russian type of communism the burrito would have had too many ingredients, less satisfying taste, a ruthless wrapper.

How Many Times Would I Eat This Meal Per Month?: Straight sober at 3 in the afternoon: Once.  Round midnight after 3 or 4 brandy gingers at the CC Club: As often as I drank 3 or 4 brandy gingers at the CC Club round midnight.

Final Score: 6/10 - All things considered my World Street Kitchen experience was pleasant against tough odds.  Leaning heavily on beer & tofu is almost always going to lead to a better-than-average experience.  I definitely came away from the meal thinking that 2:30 in the afternoon is not their money making time. On a Friday or Saturday night when the place has a bit more energy and a few more people I'll bet it's a great time.  Next time you're drinking on Lyndale you should consider skipping Caffrey's & Luce's for a night and give it a try.

Well there you have it, food fans! An efficient meal reviewed and filed away!

For more World Street Kitchen check out their website here.

For more TCDroogsma be sure to give him a follow on Twitter (@TCDroogsma).  He can also be found right here on Newest Industry hosting our free weekly podcast Flatbasset Radio.

For more Newest Industry be sure to give us a follow on Twitter (@NewestIndustry1) to stay up on the work being done by all of our contributors.  More importantly, we have a Facebook page here.  Trivial as it seems, stopping by and giving us a "Like" is a free & legit way to support the blog.

 

Meal Time! #4: TCDroogsma at The Bad Waitress Diner & Coffeeshop

Nice game... bitches...

Hey food fans!

TCDroogsma's been spending too much time holed up writing and talking about music lately, so we cleaned him up and sent him out into the world to find a nice hot meal.  He managed to walk a whole six blocks from Planet New Basset to The Bad Waitress on the corner of 26th and Nicollet.

TCDroogsma, thoughts?

Alright, let me say right off the bat that I was already plenty clean when I was sent out to find this meal.  Admittedly, though, it was nice to eat warm food.  Variety's the spice of life, they say...

Now, this wasn't my first time going to The Bad Waitress.  It was my second.  However, it was my first time going their without nursing a pretty solid hangover.  Sobriety's the spice of life... wait, nobody's ever said that.

Annnyyyway, as you all hopefully remember, I stay all vegan everything.  As far as breakfast in the Uptown area goes, their are only a few decent options.  On my first trip to The Bad Waitress I indulged in something called "The Heavy Pedal," which was essentially scrambled tofu, hashbrowns, and vegan sausage.  Since I've already done two tofu-based reviews I thought I'd have a go at some other breakfast food.  But what else would make for a good vegan breakfast on a kind of frigid November morning?

Well, the place wasn't too busy, so, out of habit, I pulled up a seat at the bar and had a look at the menu.

(Pro Tip #1: Be careful sitting on this side of the restaurant early in the day.  The sun comes pounding through the storefront at just the right angle to incubate the bar.  Add in the hot coffee and I found myself sweating like Michael Beasley during a routine traffic stop.)

Now, on to breakfast.

Pancakes. Mufuckin' pancakes.

Boom!  I'm in.  For those who've never been to The Bad Waitress before, the name is actually a bit of a misnomer.  You don't even really have a waitress.  You write down your order on a piece of paper from the ordering pad, bring it up to the counter, and pay all at once.

Essentially, you're the waitress.  And, as noted, the expectations are low.  Just something to ponder as you wait for your food.  Notice that the top of my card reads "Black Panther."  Each seat has an accompanying card with the picture of a superhero or monster on it.  Obviously, it's important to note which superhero or monster represents you so that an actual waitress knows where to bring your food.

I have no idea who or what the Black Panther is.  Is he a superhero?  Is he a monster?  An outdated relic from a more racially-charged era in American history?  More importantly, does he represent me as a hungry patron?

After a quick Wikipedia search I've determined that The Black Panther was, "the first black superhero in American comics" and got his power from a meteorite made of the fictional material 'viabranium' that crashed into his home country, the island of Wakanda.  As the leader of the Wakandans he is, "entitled to eat a special heart-shaped herb which, in addition to his mystical connection with the Wakandan Panther god, grants him superhumanly acute senses and increases his strength, speed, stamina, and agility to the peak of human development."

So, yes, he is a superhero and not a monster.  And yes, this is arguably the most accurate portrayal of me as a hungry patron.  Fuck that Batman shit.

Now that we've established that I am the ginger-bearded, blogger equivalent of a righteous black superhero, let's get down to business.

(Cue the horns)

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, The Bad Waitress's Vegan Cake!

So here's the story so far: 

Location: The Bad Waitress Diner & Coffeehouse on the corner of 26th & Nicollet 
Time Of Day: 'Bout noon on a Tuesday 
Level Of Sobriety: Romney 
Racial Status: Conflicted  
Meal: Vegan Cake 
To The Side: Sizzurp 
Beverage: Coffee 
Menu Price: Pancake: $5.25, Coffee:  $2.00 
Total Price (w/Tip): $10.00

Admittedly, I was a little put off by the sheer quantity of pancake in front of me.  I mean, look at that damn thing!  It's bigger than the plate!  I even made a point of getting the sizzurp and coffee in the shot for scale.  I'm as hungry as the next Vibranium-addled, island nation-leading, mainstream-averse guy, but how could I eat so much damn pancake?

My only hope for eating such a quantity of pancake was that the cake would be light and fluffy.  Hopefully as much air as actual cake.  Unfortunately, this was not the case.

I gave it the old college try, but I found the pancake to be too, too doughy, and too chewy.  Like a high-quality sponge, a good pancake has enough airy-ness to be able to absorb the syrup.  Again, this was not the case with the vegan cake.  The syrup never melded with the cake, but rather just sat on top of it.  Each bite became an exercise in balancing fluid on solid rather than the sticky, sweet explosion in my mouth that I was hoping for.

Wait, what?

Double entendres aside, this was a lackluster pancake.  It was filling, but by the time I was halfway through it I had definitely taken on the mindset that I was eating it out of obligation.

(Pro tip #2: For an extra $1.75 you can add blueberries, strawberries, blackberries, bananas or chocolate chips.  Now, you all know that I'm the last person who would ever advocate eating fruit.  However, in this case, it's probably a good choice.  It would at least break up the monotony.)

So, that was the meal.  Let's break this thing down:

Flavor: 3/10 - Bland and doughy.  The only flavor involved came from the syrup.  It would have gotten a 1, but the coffee was excellent.

Filling: 8/10 - Under threat of physical violence I could have maybe finished this whole thing.  Fortunately, it didn't come to that.

Price: 6/10 - $5.25 is a very reasonable price for pancakes bigger than dinner plates.  When you factor in the fact that, one, it's not delicious, and two, you'll probably only eat 3/4 of it... well, it doesn't seem so reasonable.  Add in the (delicious) coffee and the tip though, and I would say that this is not the best way you could spend $10.

Ambiance: 7/10 - As mentioned, it was a little warm on the bar side.  They do have a jukebox that plays standard 30 year old hipster standards ("Song 2," "Hungry Heart," "Here Comes Your Man..."), which, as a 30 year old hipster, I can definitely get behind.

(Quick jukebox sidenote: At one point the jukebox played "Where Is My Mind?," after which one of the waitresses turned to the other and asked, "Who was that?" It was both adorable and heartbreaking.)

Service: 8/10 - Since I took on half of the waitressing duties I'm going to go ahead and say that I was awesome.  I was prompt, polite, and flirty (but not overtly so).  I would have given myself a 10 if I wasn't so shabbily dressed.  Still, a pretty great job.

If This Meal Was A Guest Rapper On A Kanye West Track It Would Be: 2 Chainz.  For some reason people really seem to love The Bad Waitress, and I guess I wouldn't say it was bad, but it was really just kind of... meh.

How Many Times Would I Eat This Meal Per Month If I Could Afford To: Sadly, probably never.  If I'm fucking with vegan pancakes I'm going to head down to French Meadow for their far superior corncakes.  And if I'm returning to The Bad Waitress I'm definitely going with the aformentioned Heavy Pedal.

Final Score: 5/10.  I don't mean for this review to reflect negatively on The Bad Waitress in its entirety.  I actually dig the place.  I do mean for this review to reflect negatively on the vegan pancake, though.  Doughy, chewy, non-absorbent... that's that shit I don't like.  If you find yourself at The Bad Waitress, stick with the omlette-tofu-sausage options.

Well there you have it, food fans.  An unsatisfactory experience chronicled and filed away.

For and look at the menu & more information on The Bad Waitress be sure to stop by their website here.  Or just swing by 26th & Nicollet.  Vegan & non-vegan options abound.  And they have booze.

For more TCDroogsma you can give him a follow on Twitter and/or Instagram (@TCDroogsma) or stop by his personal blog Flatbasset. He was lying up above.  His flirting was forced and clumsy.

Newest Industry also lives on Twitter (@NewestIndustry1).  Give us a follow to stay up on the work being done by all of our contributors.  More importantly, we also have a Facebook page here.  If we get enough "likes" we'll pick up some less shabby clothes for TCDroogsma.

Meal Time! #3: TCDroogsma at Brasa Premium Rotisserie Restaurant

Come at me, Brasa! Come at me!

 Hey, errybody. How ya doing? I'm assuming that since you've stumbled onto this blog you're either hungry & curious or you've finally finished reading every other thing on the internet. Either way, thanks for stopping by.

As you can see from the picture right there, I took a trip to Brasa Rotisserie Restaurant. Brasa has two locations, one in St. Paul and one in Northeast. Obviously I went to the St. Paul location since, as I mentioned, the other one is in Northeast.

For more info and a good look at just what's on the menu, be sure to check out their website here.

Of course, since St. Paul is her city, I had to make sure to hook up with MinneSarah for the meal. She was psyched to come along, but, as you can see, far less psyched to have her picture taken. Fortunately, as that 7/8ths empty wine glass will attest, I'm not totally sure she even remembers me snapping this pic.

Now, I know what you're thinking: “Droogsy, aren't you and MinneSarah vegan? Why would you go to a rotisserie restaurant?” Well, yeah, we're still on that veggie grind, which is why I thought it was important to swing by Brasa. Turns out it's a sneaky-awesome vegan spot. Be honest, you didn't know that until I told you. Just be sure to ask for the vegetarian menu from your server.

We stopped by on a Wednesday at about 6:00. The place was jumpin' like a Destiny's Child single. Take a look at the picture. See those seats near the far end next to the screen. That's where we ended up. It was awesome getting a nice little breeze during dinner. It did, however, make my photos all wonky. Trust me, none of the plates were blue, despite their appearance here.

Now, before we get to the meal, I would be remiss if I didn't mention the fact that Brasa serves their own homemade soda. They've concocted a guava lime soda (which I've yet to try) and a fucking awesome pineapple ginger ale. Check that out:

That's pretty damn real. It definitely skews more toward the sweetness of the pineapple, but the ginger's bite is still noticeable. Definitely refreshing.

Now, the trick to eating vegan-style at Brasa is to catch those sides on vegetarian menu. There are five options on the menu...

(Cure the horns!)

I present to you, the Vegan Side Dish Spectacular at Brasa's!

Homemade Chips & Guacamole

Yellow Rice & Beans

Roasted Yams

Crispy Yuca w/Citrus & Garlic

Fried Plantains

Now, MinneSarah and I had visited Brasa once before and cashed in on the lunch special, which is any three of the sides for $8.50. This works out awesome since each person can get their own order of Yellow Rice & Beans and then you can share the other 4 sides. Unfortunately, in Brasa's world, 6:00 does not count as lunch time. Still, this had been our plan for the evening and we were not going to be denied.

So, here's the story so far:

Location: Brasa on Grand

Time Of Day: 6:00 on a Wednesday

Ambiance: Jumpin', jumpin'

Level Of Sobriety: 50/50

Meal: Shared Side Dish Spectacular

Main Ingredients: Plantains, yuca, rice, beans, yams

To The Side: Chips & guac

Beverages: Cabernet (MinneSarah), Pineapple Ginger Ale (Myself)

Menu Price: $6.50 American for the Cabernet ($4.50 American during happy hour), $2.75 American for the Ginger Ale ($1.50 American during happy hour). Keep reading for an explanation of the food prices.

Total price: $45.00 American (w/tip)

Instead of the lunch special, we were forced to deal from the sides menu. Each side could be ordered as either a small, medium or large portion. We started by splitting a medium order of the chips and guacamole ($5.75 American). They were great to snack on as we drank our dranks and waited for the rest of the sides to turn up. The chips, as mentioned, are homemade. They were big, crisp, and not-at-all oily, which was surprising. I'm not a huge guacamole fan (avocados make me feel ill), but I couldn't stop snacking on the this combo. The guacamole wasn't chunky at all, simply smooth and mild. All in all, a great way to start the meal.

 I ordered another pineapple ginger ale and MinneSarah grabbed another glass of red. Soon, we were surrounded by sides. We threw down another $5.75 American for a medium sized order of yellow rice & black beans because, frankly, you can never have enough of those. The black beans were pretty basic, but the yellow rice was great. It tasted a lot like the type of rice you get at mexican restaurants. That rice, however, is typically made with chicken stock. Somehow Brasa was able to recreate that without the chicken. Well played. This side was obviously the Beyonce of the meal.  Absolutely essential in turning a collection of food into a meal.

(Pro tip #1: Be sure to save some of the chips for scooping up rice & beans. I realize that's a poverty line dinner (Lord, how I realize it), but trust me, it forms a great base for the rest of the meal.)

The plantains come in two varieties, sweet & green. Last time we stopped by we were only able to get the sweet plantains and let me tell you, they were just too damn sweet. The sugar just didn't compliment the rest of the meal. Oddly, yet fortunately, this time we were only able to get the green plantains. We decided to split a small order at $2.95 American. These little fried treats were awesome. Nicely crispy on the outside but chewy throughout the middle. I straight up couldn't get enough of these things. If I'm going to continue with this analogy, I suppose this would be the Michelle of the sides. Sweet, harmless, yet an essential part of the meal as a whole.

We also decided to go halves on a small order of the yams (another $2.95 American), which are mashed almost past the point of recognition. I wasn't a fan of these as, much like the sweet plantains, were just a little too sweet. Admittedly, I rarely eat yams and I forget that they are inherently sweet. When I said that I didn't care for them, MinneSarah kindly reminded me that I said that last time. Those that forget history, etc... I don't know whether I feel more sorry for the yams or LaTavia Roberson & Latoya Luckett in this comparison, but I'm sorry to everyone involved. The yams were inessential and unnecessary.

(Like an idiot, I neglected to take picture of the yuca flocka fries.  They were only the best part of the meal.  Fuck me.)

We did luck out during happy hour and catch the crispy yuca at happy hour prices ($2.00 American for an individual serving). I'm likely to lapse into hyperbole describing these awesome little guys. They have the texture and taste of the thickest, most delicious french fries you've ever had. Perfectly balancing softness and chewy I highly, highly recommend them. They're the Kelly Rowland of the meal: More talented than they get credit for and certainly sexier than that fat ass rice & beans. And yet, not really able to stand on their own as a meal.

Now, that's pretty much the whole meal, but I'll be damned if I let you click away from this page without dropping Pro Tip #2 on you.

Pro Tip #2: Brasa's Hot Pepper Vinegar! Oh shit! This little dandy makes every part of the meal (sans those sweet yams) better. Believe me, I was skeptical too, but it really is fantastic. It has a perfectly sour, lime type of flavor too it. It is crucial to add a splash of it to the rice & beans, yuca, and plantains. Since this meal has so many diverse options, adding a bit of this stuff kind of brings it all back home. This is definitely the Jay-Z cameo of the meal. All I need in this life of sin is me and my vinegar...

Alright, that was the meal. Now let's break this thing down:

Flavor: 8/1- Just about everything was crispy where it was supposed to be crispy and soft where it was supposed to be soft. With the exception of the yams, none of the dishes had an overpowering flavor.

Filling: 10/10 – You wouldn't think a meal built out of side dishes could be so filling, yet here we are.Sweet lord, I could barely walk after finishing this meal. Much like the way I could barely walk after seeing the 'Bootylicious' video for the the first time. Err... kind of.

Price: 7/10 - $45 American with the tip is awfully steep. However, if you cut out the wine, it shakes out to about $35. Take out the soda and yams and you're down to $30 American, split in half. Is what's remaining worth $15 American? Absolutely.

Ambiance: 8/10 – Like you saw above, the place was awfully packed. A restaurant full of patrons and spinning chickens has the potential to get awfully hot in a hurry, but screening off and opening up the big garage doors on the side of the building was a clutch move. The rest of the building had the style of some type of gourmet Chipotle, built mostly of steel & wood with some perplexing art on the wall. I mean that as a compliment.

Service: 9/10 – MinneSarah and I dealt with a very-pregnant server called Meg. At least, she looked pregnant. It may have been a very high quality fake pregnancy belly she wears to try to get bigger tips. Admittedly, that seems unlikely. Anyway, she was really a sweetheart as we stumbled through the sides menu trying to figure out the right sizes for our meal.

We also dealt briefly with a busser who shared a remarkable resemblance to Alex James. Based on his desire to remove our dishes, I suspect he may share both a hairstyle and taste in, umm... 'hobbies' with Mr. James.

If This Meal Was An All Girl R 'n' B Group From The 90's It Would Be: TLC. I kid, I kid. Obviously, Destiny's Child. Best of the best.

How Many Times Would I Eat This Meal Per Month If I Could Afford To: 4. For the record, though, I'd want to eat it about a dozen times per month, but it's just too damn filling. I mean, check out what I went home with.

Overall Score: 9/10 – Great food, nice atmosphere, not terribly priced. To be completely honest, I'm not sure why I'm not giving it a ten. I think it's because I've never given a 10 before and, frankly, Brasa, I like you, you're handsome, stylish, & delicious, but I think I'm saving that 10 for someone I really love. I hope you understand.

Mike Augustynak was not at Brasa. This time.

Thanks, TCDroogsma.  That was barely coherent.  If you want more TCDroogsma he can be found on Twitter (@TCDroogsma), on Instagram as TCDroogsma and he, for some reason, maintains his own blog called Caffeine & Obscenities.

Of course, this blog is still on Twitter (@NewestIndustry1) and Facebook here.  If you're a fan of our writers comparing meals to R 'n' B groups, stop by and give us a 'like.'

Meal Time !#2: TCDroogsma at Ping's Szechuan Bar & Grill

Oh, we got Ping...

Oh, hello again my hungry friends. It was getting a little late Sunday night and I was tired, hungry, and a little drunk. So I decided to take a stroll down to the neighborhood Chinese spot, Ping's Szechuan Bar & Grill (which will be shortened to just 'Ping's' for the rest of this post).

If you're unfamiliar with Ping's, it is somewhat of a staple in the Stevens/Nicollet Mall community. It's located at 1401 Nicollet, just at the southern edge of Nicollet Mall.  Check their website here for more info.

I've been there once or twice before and I honestly have no idea how this place makes enough money to stay open. I turned up around 8 and this is what the place looked like.

As you can see, it was a packed house. Big ups to the 18 for photobombing this shot though. Score another one for Metro Transit. I mean, do you know how big a bus is?!?  Timing is everything in life.

I came to the conclusion that Ping's must make all it's money with their lunch buffet.  I could totally see some Target Whore-porate (copyright: SwervinTaters) employees deciding to stroll down the mall and stuff their sexy faces with crab legs and lo mein noodles before heading back downtown and working on new ways to get a little dog to sell me socks.

So, as is my style, I posted up at the bar, which was equally bustling.

Outside of the ghost drinker, I pretty much had the place to myself.  Although I was a bit skeptical of that shady guy sitting by the window.  Come find out, son. Come find out.

Of course, there are a couple of regulars at Ping's.

 Damn! Koi fish like a motherfucker!

So, what to get?  Admittedly, I was craving some tofu, but all the tofu dishes on the menu had that stupid little pepper next to them indicating 'spicy.'  If you didn't know, I have the spice tolerance of a toddler who was raised on grapes & Enfamil.  However, there was one tofu dish on the menu that didn't have the pepper next to it:

(Cue the horns)

I present to you: Ping's Sesame Glazed Fried Tofu!

That's right!  A second straight Meal Time! featuring tofu & sesame seeds!  I didn't even plan this shit!  It's possible that I secretly love sesame seeds and don't even know it.

So, here's where we're at:

Location: Ping's
Time Of Day: 8:00 Sunday night
Ambiance: Non-existent, save for the Olympics on mute and stereotypical Chinese restaurant music
Level Of Sobriety: Medium
Level Of Energy: Like a cat in a sun room
Meal: Sesame Glazed Fried Tofu
Main Ingredient: Tofu
To The Side: White rice
Beverage: Tsingtao
Menu Price: $10.95 American for the tofu/rice. $5 American for the Tsingtao.
Total Price: $18 American (w/tip)

As you could imagine, I was pretty fucking psyched to see that small mountain of tofu sitting in front of me.  However, my enthusiasm was short-lived since, as you can see by the picture, there is not a vegetable to be found. Not a one.  I mean, I would've been pretty pissed off if there were mushrooms involved, but some onions or green peppers would've been nice.  Or better yet, broccoli.  Although adding broccoli almost certainly would've bumped up the price another $1.50 American since, as we all know, broccoli has the highest IQ of any vegetable.

I decided to have a Tsingtao with this meal because, well, when in Rome, etc...

(Pro Tip #1: Don't get Tsingtao. If you want to know why the Chinese are so ruthlessly efficient, look no further than this beer. You'd have to drink something like 30 of these things to get a buzz.)

As the picture above shows, the tofu cubes were large. In fact, I actually cut a couple of them in half. They were also cooked perfectly, with the outside being nice & crisp and the innards chewy.  When I find myself craving tofu, I'm craving that kind of texture.  Well played, Ping's.

Unlike the B-LB scramble (where I couldn't figure out why the sesame seeds were involved), the sesame seeds actually provided a nice little kick to the tofu.  Crunchy seeds + crunchy outer tofu + chewy inner tofu = delicious.  I'm coining the phrase 'Ping's Theorem' for that equation.

However, since there are not vegetables, the deliciousness of this meal hinged almost entirely on the sesame glaze.  Let me tell you, it just didn't pass the test.  Unlike the typical 'brown sauce' that's found at most Chinese restaurants, this glaze didn't appear to contain any garlic to balance out the sweetness.  I mean, after five or six cubes, the glaze was just overwhelming.  I'm talking Mandy-Moore-Fronting-The-Lightning-Seeds levels of sweetness.  Frankly, it's just too damn much.

I managed to get through about half the mountain of tofu before I hit the wall.  As I've mentioned before, tofu is not particularly filling and this held true at Ping's.  Unfortunately, the glaze was just so fucking sweet that I thought my thyroid was going to come out of my throat and push the plate off the table.  I boxed up what was left, finished my beer, and headed home.

(Pro Tip #2:  We all know that nobody can go more than 90 minutes without digging into their Chinese food leftovers.  This is a two-way street with tofu, as the longer it sits in the fridge the more the flavor is absorbed by the cubes.  With a meal like this one it's important to go home, maybe drink some water, and then finish it off when the hunger hits.  If this sits in the fridge all night the tofu will absorb every last bit of that sugary glaze and you'll basically be eating cubed diabetes for lunch the next day.)

All things considered, this was not an un-delicious meal.  It was a disappointing one though.  This plate of tofu seems like it would be fantastic as a shared appetizer for a group of three or four people, but I'm just one man.  It's just overwhelming.

Let's break this thing down:

Flavor: 4/10 - Initially delicious, but much like sex that goes on longer than 45 minutes, it just had to stop.

Filling: 3/10 - Tofu just isn't filling.  Anytime you have to stop eating a meal for a reason other than a full belly, you're probably getting a low 'filling' score.

Price: 2/10 - I paid $18 American for this?!?  I mean, I could've picked a better beer.  That's on me.  But $10.95 American for the type of tofu I could get at any shitty wok in MPLS.... sorry, Ping's.  That's just not happening.

Ambiance: 7/10 - I suppose this ranking depends on how you feel about people.  As I dislike pretty much all people, I'm bumping it up.  Since I also like sports on television, it gets a 7.  Admittedly, though, it is a little odd sitting in that big restaurant with nothing but smug fish & servers looking at you while you eat.  And that one guy.  Fuck that guy.

Service: 10/10 - I dealt exclusively with the bartender called Spencer.  Spencer has clearly been doing playing this game for a long time.  He was super prompt (though, again, I was the only person there), friendly, chatty, and mildly handsome in an ugly sort of way (like David Schwimmer).  Frreal, this guy's killin' it.

If This Meal Was A Simpsons Character It Would Be: Nelson Muntz.  Nice when deployed in the right setting (i.e. appetizer for a large group), but far too one-dimensional to carry a whole episode (or meal).

How Many Times Would I Eat This Per Month If I Could Afford To: Zero. Sorry, Spencer.  It's not your fault.

Overall Score: 3/10 - Just not getting the job done as a meal.  I think I spent the night sweating out that glaze.  $18 American to sweat out a meal is unreasonable.  It just is.

That's that.  I'll leave you with this:  I was given two fortune cookies at the end of the night.  I was not with anybody else.

First of all, cookies, I'm a chronic procrastinator. It's never a good time to finish up old task.  Second, if you're willing to classify student loan officers as 'fortune hunters,' then yeah, you kinda nailed that one, thanks for reminding me. Smart ass cookie...

For more TCDroogsma, he can be found on Twitter (@TCDroogsma).  He also maintains his own blog, Caffeine & Obscenities which you should check out if you've finished up reading every other thing on the internet.

Of course, this blog can be found on Twitter as well (@NewestIndustry1) and we now have our own Facebook page here.  If you dig what we do check it out and give it a like.  I mean, we like you, y'know? Fair is fair.

Meal Time!#1: TCDroogsma at Bryant-Lake Bowl

TCDroogsma likes to eat things. He also likes to write blogs. Here we go...

Hey internets! How ya'll doing? Well? Yeah? Good. You know I worry about you.

As you can see, I took a walk down to the old Bryant-Lake Bowl the other day.  If you somehow don't know what B-LB is, well, get outside more. Christ.

B-LB is a bar/restaurant/old-timey bowling alley located, if you can believe this, on the corner of Bryant Ave. & Lake St. During the day it's very much a lunch spot and at night it becomes more of a date night/dj night/bowling night type of place. They have a theatre attached to the bar, but for our purposes, that's irrelevant (of course, if you're a fan of indie theatre and local bands, you should look into it).

Annnyyywayyy... I was hungry for breakfast yesterday (by breakfast I mean it was 2:00 in the afternoon but I hadn't eaten yet). Thanks to my old friend SwervinTaters, I remembered that B-LB actually has breakfast until 3 and that it's pretty solid. When I got there at 2:30, I had just missed the lunch rush, so I was working with this:

As you can see, with the exception of the server who was moving faster than my shutter speed, I pretty much had the run of the place. Though, oddly, the bowling lanes were mostly full. Who's bowling on at 2:30 on a Tuesday afternoon?

So, here's what we're dealing with. Here's the rundown.

Location: Bryant-Lake Bowl
Meal: Tofu Scramble
Main Ingredients: Tofu, Tamari, Spinach, Red Pepper, Onion, Seasame Seeds, Tamari
To The Side: B-LB Fries or Dirty Rice (cooked in canola oil), a variety of toast options
Beverage: Water
Seated: At The Bar
Music: The Current
Menu Price: $7:50 American for the scramble/sides, $0 for the water
Total Price: $10 American (w/tip)

(Cue the horns)

I present to you the Bryant-Lake Bowl Tofu Scramble!

As you can see, unlike the restaurant's very literal name, the Tofu Scramble does not actually feature scrambled tofu. The tofu is cubed and mixed in with the spinach, onion, red pepper & mixed all together with the tamari and sesame seeds.

The home fries have the texture and consistency of thin-cut potato chips.

(Pro Tip #1: Mix the tofu/veggie combo with the home fries and let it all sit for a minute or two. This lets the potatoes absorb some of the tahini and soften them up. Otherwise you're just eating potato chips with a fork, or as I like to call it, Chinese Potato Chip Fork Torture.)

Also, I went with the sourdough as my toast of choice because, as Congress declared back in the mid-90's, sourdough bread is un-fuck-withable.

Anyway, once I let the mixture come together, this meal was a damn fine meal. The tofu is not very browned, so if you're put off by the texture of tofu, this may not be the meal for you. You should also grow the fuck up.

The red pepper was definitely still crisp, which is awesome. The onion gave the whole thing a nice little kick. Obviously the spinach does what spinach does, namely taste pretty good while making you feel like you're being relatively healthy. We all know it's easy to let spinach get too soggy, so, to their credit, the cooks did an awesome job of getting it done just right.

Not to channel the ghost of Mitch Hedberg, but I'd be lying if I said I knew exactly what role the sesame seeds play in the meal. That being said, they are not an unwelcome addition.

The tamari does not have a super-prominent role in the taste of the entire meal. This is clutch, as nobody wants to eat a breakfast that's so salty they're chugging glass of water after glass of water. It does pull everything together nicely though.

(Pro Tip #2: Since the toast is dry, save it for last. Eat up the delicious tofu/veggie/home fries mix and then use the toast to soak up what's left of the tamari & canola oil. This improves the meal by at least 15%)

So that's that. A very, very good breakfast. Let's tally up the final score.

Flavor: 8/10 - Mild, which is perfect for a breakfast that is one part delicious and one part hangover cure.

Filling: 6/10 - Good and greasy (though without actual grease). However, you'd have to eat a whole cart of tofu & veggies to actually get full.

Price: 6/10 - $10.00 total seems a bit steep for a meal that wasn't super filling and didn't have a beverage. However, that's the going rate these days. If it was any cheaper I'd probably be there 3 days a week.

Ambiance: 8/10 - Given my distaste for people, an empty bar was pretty solid. Plus, they played the new Blur single on The Current while I was there. Bonus point.

Service: 9/10 - Kristen & Brendan were working  behind the bar. Both were super-friendly and, I'm secure enough in my manhood to admit, very good looking. If you ask Kristen nicely she may even tell you about her bacon & cheese tattoo. Also, I apologize if I misspelled your names, Kristen & Brendan. Or Christin & Brendon. Or Kirstin & Brian.

If This Meal Was A Former Twins Outfielder It Would Be: Shannon Stewart. You tend to forget about it, but it's actually really good and deserves more credit than it gets.

How Many Times Per Month Would I Eat This Meal If I Could Afford To: 3. It certainly deserves a spot in the rotation. Roughly once every 10 days seems about right.

Overall Score: 7/10 - A better than average breakfast experience. Thanks, B-LB!

So there you have it, Twin Cities. The Tofu Scramble at the Bryant-Lake Bowl. Definitely worth checking out.

For more TCDroogsma you can follow him on Twitter (@TCDroogsma) or on his own blog Caffeine & Obscenities.

As always, you can follow this blog on Twitter as well (@NewestIndustry1). Give us a follow.

Vegan Cooking With MinneSarah #2: Mac Daddy!

Hello my hungry friends! MinneSarah was nice enough to invite Newest Industry over for another night of drinking, Spotify dancing, Instagram-ing, and delicious vegan food.

This time she undertook the Mac Daddy recipe from Veganomicon. If ya don’t know, Mac Daddy is a vegan baked macaroni & cheese dish and it’s phenomenal. Also, if you’re interested in vegan cooking, Veganomicon is an absolute must. Everything in that cookbook is three stars or better.

The first thing to do with this recipe is to boil up a box of pasta. She used elbows this time around. Sadly, NI showed up too late to get a picture, but, honestly, taking a picture of a box of pasta is pretty fucking pointless. You know what it looks like.

While you wait for the water to boil for your pasta, you may as well pour yourself a drink.

MinneSarah opted for some good old-fashioned vodka Red Bulls this time around.

For this recipe, you’ll need the Cheezy Sauce ingredients (see below) plus:

1 lb. of extra firm tofu
1 tsp salt
1 tbsp olive oil
2 tbsp lemon juice

Once the pasta is boiling and the drinks are poured, it’s time to start on the Cheesy Sauce. For those who’ve never tried it, this is pretty much the best vegan cheese option. It’s a little spicy and definitely better than anything that can be found in a store.

The Mac Daddy recipe calls for a double batch of Cheezy Sauce.  NI’s taken the liberty of doubling up the quantities in the recipe below, so if you decide to make this at home, just use the numbers below.

4 cups veggie broth or water
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
2 tbsp olive oil
6 cloves of garlic
A pinch of dried thyme
1/2 tsp salt
Several pinches fresh black pepper
1/4 tsp turmeric
1 1/2 cups nutritional yeast
2 tbsp lemon juice
2 tsp prepared yellow mustard

First, combine the broth and flour in a bowl and whisk it with a fork until it’s dissolved. Set aside momentarily.

Second, mince up the garlic and place it in a small sauce pan with the olive oil. MinneSarah owns a sweet garlic press that makes this step about a thousand times less tedious than actually chopping the garlic yourself.

Fry up the garlic or low heat for a couple of minutes. Once it’s sufficiently golden, add the thyme, salt, & pepper and let it fry for 15-20 seconds.

Add the broth, turmeric, & nooch and raise the heat to medium. Use a whisk to stir the mixture. It should start bubbling up within a couple of minutes.

 Once the mixture is bubblin’, stir in the lemon juice & mustard. Give it a couple more minutes and blaow! Best vegan cheese ever!

Preheat your oven to 325, because it’s time to put all the pieces together.

God willing, by this time your noodles are done, strained & good to go.

First, crumble up your tofu into the baking dish. Add the salt, olive oil, & lemon juice. Press & stir the mixture with a fork until it becomes something resembling ricotta cheese.

Add half a cup of the Cheezy sauce to the tofu & stir it all together.

Add the macaroni to the tofu/Cheezy mixture and then pour three more cups of Cheezy Sauce on top of that.

Stir up the whole mixture and then flatten it out with a spatula. Once the mixture is level, add the rest of the Cheesy goodness and smooth it all out with your aforementioned spatula. It should look something like this:

Put that in the oven and let it bake for about half an hour or until it’s slightly brown.

Now, last time I checked, this was America. As such, MinneSarah deemed it necessary that we add chopped up Smart Dogs to the mix. Also, because MinneSarah believes in at least attempting to balance out meals, she decided we should steam some broccoli to add to the finished dish.

So, while the Mac Daddy was baking, she chopped & steamed some broccoli.

Somewhere Dana Carvey is smiling.

While the broccoli was steaming, she chopped up the Smart Dogs so we could use the steaming water to boil them up.

Boil up the Smart Dogs for just a couple of minutes.

By now, hopefully, the Mac Daddy is lightly browned and ready for consumption.

Boom! Let the whole thing settle on the stove top for 10 minutes. Once it’s cooled off a bit, grab yourself a plate, fork, and 3rd or 5th drink: It’s time to eat!

That’s as real as it gets!

As always, big thanks to MinneSarah for hosting, cooking, letting Newest Industry take pictures, and being suitably passive-aggressive as we ate and left without cleaning up any of the dishes.

If you’re on the Twitter, you should definitely be following MinneSarah (@MinneSarah), especially if you enjoy cats, Mormon fashion, and the 90’s.