Songs Of The Week #2: MinneSarah & TCDroogsma

The 2 Bears, Dead Can Dance, Niki & The Dove, Aesop Rock, Homeless...

Welcome back to Newest Industry's Songs Of The Week.  For the uninitiated, SOTW is a column we post each week in which we ask a couple of our regular contributors to give us their thoughts on The Current's free 'Song Of The Day' podcast, which you can (and should) download here.

This week MinneSarah & TCDroogsma give us their thoughts on the week's action.  As always, they have not read each other's comments before this posting.

01.  The 2 Bears - Warm And Easy (from the album Be Strong)

MinneSarah:

     Baritone vocals are all the rage these days, and this song really harnesses this aspect.  There are two vocalists (apparently, bears) and they don't so much react to each other as provide completely different layers.  I cannot review this song without bringing up 311's album "Transistor."  I mean, someone owes Hexum some royalties.  I'm a huge sucker for British accents, even when they skew a little Phil Collins, so that was major a plus for this song.  Summer is a theme to these lyrics, and the breezy Carribean beat makes it flow together seamlessly, but ultimately these two bears fall short of making a solid summer jam.

TCDroogsma:

     What the hell is going on here? This sounds like the bastard child of Dizzee Rascal and Peter Gabriel. I mean, I'm predisposed to love anything British, but I'm seriously confused.

     Why are the spoken vocals all slowed down? Why isn't their really a chorus? Why are they dressed like bears? The melody sung by the the Peter Gabriel-type guy is pretty solid, but the lyrics are pretty vapid. The spoken word bit seems like what the English would consider 'cheeky,' but my American brain finds them boring. Plus, what the fuck is up with that, “We got your girlfriend thinking, 'I never loved a bear but tonight I been drinking?'”

     And yet, I still kinda dig it.

Final Score:  MinneSarah - 2/5
                   TCDroogsma - 2/5

 

 
02.  Dead Can Dance - Amnesia (from the album Anastasis)

MinneSarah:

     This song is epic, and long...  During nearly six minutes, DCD does go on a reflective journey during which they argue the existential aspects of human memory vs. the human experience.  This song would be good for a long, contemplative, fall walk.  It also has the bonus of making me feel like the protagonist in I'm in an artsy early 90's movie.  Gen X used to eat this kind of disillusionment for breakfast. The piano saves it (I can't believe I'm typing this) from being too abstract and droning, but like I said, it's very very long.

 
TCDroogsma:

     Sir, please put your hands up! Put down the Massive Attack album and step away from the turntable!

     Funny thing, this song is literally about amnesia. Or, at least, amnesia via some tired cliches. Still, I was pretty much on board with the defeated vocals and strings until dude gets to the end of the song and falls back on the, “All my love and all my kisses, sweet Mnemosyne.” I googled 'Mnemosyne' to learn that she's the Greek god of memory. I mean, if you're gonna get all bookish about it you should just stick to the cliches. Still, a song that romanticizes amnesia without tying it to a relationship or something is pretty intriguing to me.

Final Score:  MinneSarah - 2/5
                   TCDroogsma - 2/5

 
03.  Niki & The Dove - Tomorrow (from the album Instinct)

MinneSarah:

     The female vocalist's staccato "yeahs" were taken from a Cyndi Lauper song, and the rest of the song doesn't get much better.  I tried to connect to the lyrics, but they are not the strong female sentiments that would make me forgive the delivery.  Although I had "True Colors" in my head the rest of the afternoon, the rest of the music does sound pretty hip and up to the minute - they don't get lost trying to replicate the 80's, just piggyback on some of it's resurgence.  :-(  Just frownie face.

TCDroogsma:

     Am I the only person who saw the name Niki & The Dove and made an immediate connection to Prince's 'Purple Rain' album? That's a dirty trick, Niki and/or The Dove.

     This one grew on me as the week went on. The chorus hits my brain in all the right spots. The bridge builds really well to one last payoff chorus. I don't totally understand what she's singing about when she says, “I'm gonna let you show me what it means to breathe fire...” but it's certainly intriguing. Perhaps she's trying to seduce a dragon? Or Dylan from Making The Band?

Final Score:  MinneSarah - 1/5

                   TCDroogsma - 3/5 

 
04.  Aesop Rock - ZZZ Top (from the album Skelethon)

MinneSarah:

     Yeah, so I'm biased.  I got Skelethon the day it came out, and this is my favorite song from it.  Why I like ZZZ Top:  tight beats, poetic lyrics, catchy hooks, classic Aesop delivery.  This song has a lot of punctuation, from the drums, cymbals, guitar, and vocals that result in high energy and high excitement.  The whole song sounds pulled together despite having a lot of audio elements. Why are you still reading this - go download it! 

TCDroogsma:

     Quick disclaimer: I love Aesop Rock. I've been bumping Skelethon since it came out 6 weeks ago. The Current could've given away an mp3 of Aesop Rock reading the phone book and I would've given it 3 of 5.

     Putting an Aes Rock song after the first three songs this week is a dirty trick. The lyrics left quite a bit to be desired in the first three, so trying to process this web of lines is a test. Completely rewarding, though. When you listen to this one, try to bear in mind that this is the first Aesop album since he got divorced. It makes the chorus hit a little bit harder.

     Plus, it's a shame that the radio has to edit out the bit during the opening verse where he says, “he was probably thinking, 'Fuck You, Fuck You, Fuck You...'” Kinda helps the song grab you off the bat.

 
Final Score:  MinneSarah - 4.5/5
                   TCDroogsma - 4/5

05.  Homeless w/K.Raydio - Get Gone

MinneSarah:

     This song is very lyrically dense, observant, and smart.  The beat is great, the delivery is clean, and K.Raydio brings it back around with her sweet sounding but assertive chorus. The narrative is frustrated but hopeful.  My favorite lyric - "I pack a bag for the Apocalypse and keep it movin'."  For as many times as Homeless has been put down, it has only reinforced that next time, he's doing it on his own terms.  This force of will carries through the song and creates a real, but positive song.  I highly recommended that you check it out.  Bonus points that it is local and is the only song I've reviewed so far (that I haven't heard before) that I wouldn't hesitate to put on a summer playlist.

TCDroogsma:

     Remember a couple months ago when The Current gave away MaLLy's “Good One” with K. Raydio on the hook? This is like the opposite side of the same coin. Homeless sounds like he's finding the good in life by looking down rather than up, which is actually a very 'midwest' way to look at it. I can get behind that.

     Shout out to Big Cats! On the beats. His production sounds better with every new track.

Final Score:  MinneSarah - 4/5

                   TCDroogsma - 3.5/5

Boom!  There you go, Minnesota.  Be sure to check out The Current's website and subscribe to the podcast.  As you can see, it's great fun.

Of course, the opinions presented here are only the opinions of the contributors who, er... contributed them.  This website is in no way affiliated with The Current, MPR, or any of the artists.

For more MinneSarah, she can be found on Twitter (@MinneSarah) and Instagram as MinneSarah.  If you run into her in the real world, be sure to compliment her nails.

For more TCDroogsma, he can be found on Twitter (@TCDroogsma), Instagram as TCDroogsma, and ranting like a lunatic on his own blog Caffeine & Obscenities.  If you run into him in the real world he'll probably fall down.

Of course, this blog is on both the Twitter (@NewestIndustry1) and the Facebook. If you get a chance, pop over there and give us a 'like.'  I mean, you know you kinda like us.  In a platonic way, but, y'know, if we both get to 40 and we're still single... just sayin'... 

 

 

Purple Prognosticating With Mike Otto - Pt. 2: The Defense

Everything is purple, everything is purple...

Lifelong Vikings fan Mike Otto will be with us all throughout the 2012 season breaking down the Vikings and making bold predictions.

With two preseason games under their collective belt, Mike took a bit to break down the defense.

Position-By-Position: What needs to change?  What needs to stay the same? 

Defensive Line:  Barring injury, the starters will remain unchanged this year. Week one you will see Kevin

Williams & Letroy Guion in the middle, flanked by Jared Allen & Brian Robison.

It's worth nothing that in camp thus far Letroy Guion has been getting noticed and making plays. It remains to be seen if he can command double teams on a weekly basis during the regular season, freeing up Kevin Williams to wreak havoc in the backfield.

Speaking of Kevin Williams, #93 had, by all accounts, a down year in 2011. To be fair, it was his first year without Pat Williams next to him and he was slowed by nagging injuries. Even with those circumstances, it's become apparent to me that Kevin Williams can't dominate all by himself like he could when he first entered the league.

For the defensive tackles to have a good year they must work together and succeed as a squad, cuz that's the ONLY WAY IT'S GONNA HAPPEN, DOGG!

Leslie Frazier has stated that the defensive line will see more rotation this year in an attempt to “keep guys fresh.” This is undoubtedly because he realized this is the only hope his d-line has of making any “splash” plays.

For the record, Jared Allen has played over 90% of possible snaps every year he has been in Minnesota, including 94.1% last season (he was on the field for most kickoffs & punts).

I like the guy and he is an asset every time he's on the field, but at 30 years old (and being our best defensive player), it's time to cut out the special teams duties.

Brian Robison has an endless motor, but seems to always be a step away from a sack, just as the quarterback is releasing the ball. To paraphrase Denny Green, he is who we think he is. He will always be good, but never get to that great/elite level. Expect 6-9 sacks from Robison this year.

Expect Fred Evans (90) & Christian Ballard (99) to round out the DT corps.

There are 6 backup DE's vying for a roster spot in camp (Jeff Charleston, Trevor Guyton, Ernest Owusu, Anthony Jacobs, Jeff Reed, & D'aundre Reed). Look for us to keep three of them.

Early camp front runners are Trevor Guyton & Ernest Owusu, who have been making plays on the second team.

The defensive line took a giant step back last year, got gouged in the run game, and failed to get consistent pressure outside of Jared Allen. The overall success of the entire defense is dictated by how much pressure the front 4 can get on the opposing quarterback by themselves. Good pressure from the front 4 allows the linebackers to drop into coverage, allows the corners to play man-to-man, & the safeties to cover deep.

Will this all happen? Your guess is as good as mine. It all depends on injuries and how much this bunch of NOBODIES WANTS IT! I SWEARS!

Linebackers:  This group has a lot of over-achieving to do this year if they want to improve on their miserable performance last season.  In all honesty, I think this unit is doomed and, unless Audie Cole turns out to be the steal of the draft, they probably are.

Barring injury, Chad Greenway will probably have another 150 tackle year.  How much of that is his ability or others' lack of ability is up for debate.

The Vikings resident baby bro, Erin Henderson is a decent cover linebacker who struggles to get off his block on the blitz and was absolutely terrible controlling his gap against the run game. Get better dude!!

Hey, Jasper Brinkley, are you gonna be able to stay on the field this year?  No?  Good!  Cause you're in over your head anyway.  If he stays healthy he will be dominated.

Worth noting, Marvin Mitchell (55) has been taking practice reps from Erin Henderson.  Mitchell plays with an edge and unless Brinkley & Henderson play better they could lose their starting jobs this year.

The second team of linebackers looked good in the first preseason game, granted they were playing against the second- and third-team offense.

Regardless, credit where credit is due, Audie Cole was all over the place making plays and harassing the quarterback.

Something called Solomon Elimimian even got a nice, heads-up interception off a tipped ball.

Yes, it may be a long year for the Vikings' linebackers.  Good thing our secondary can cover so much ground...

Secondary:  Last year the Vikings secondary was the worst in the NFL.  In particular, the safeties were completely lost & overmatched by anyone they tried to cover.

Hussain Abdullah is gone, I swears he is.

Mistral Raymond (41), however, is still around and since he knows how to breathe and can put on a helmet, he is slated to be start the season opposite rookie Harrison Smith (22).

I happen to believe Mistral Raymond is the worst football player in the NFL and always will be.

Rookie cornerback Josh Robinson is a player that excites me.

He is going to get a lot of play this year in nickel packages and if he impresses, could find himself in the starting lineup very quickly.

He was the fastest man in the draft (4.29 40 yd dash) and speed is incredibly important as a corner. The Vikings are hoping he has the awareness to use his speed effectively in man-to-man coverage. His size isn't terrible as he is a very strong 5'10”, weighing in at 199 lbs. My hopes are very high for him and for the Vikings' secondary to succeed he needs to have a dynamic rookie campaign.

I really wish Antoine Winfield would accept a move to safety, but he won't.  No point crying about it.  Winfield will miss time again this year with injuries.  His body is slowing down on him, but his attitude and style isn't slowing down with his body.

Chris Carr started the first pre-season game and probably will be the starter week one.

The only real unknowns are Harrison Smith & Chris Cook.

As the season progresses, though, I think Chris Cook will overtake his starting job.  As long as Mr. Cook confines his choking to the gridiron, it will be a better year for him.

If the Vikings secondary has any hope of making a marked, worthwhile improvement that helps the team win, those two will need to play like All-Pros.  Is that likely?  No.  Is it possible?  Well, as Kevin Garnett once said, "ANYTHING IS POSSIBLLLLE... doin' this for 'Sota!"

There you have it, everybody.  Mike Otto's take on the 2012 edition of The Purple People Eaters.

For more of Mike's commentary on the Vikings, be sure to follow him on Twitter (@SwervinTaters)

As always, this blog is on Twitter (@NewestIndustry1) and on the Facebook.  Stop by and give us a 'like' for the Purple Pride. 

KPlow & The Fork #1: The Amsterdam Bar & Hall

The First Date...

Biased on the start…I’ve been pretty Minneapolis-centric with my eating out habits in 2012. So when I was over in St. Paul for some musical happenings a week ago and saw an enticing food list at the Amsterdam Bar and Hall, I figured I’d give Minneapolis’s quirky twin another go. So here you are Minnesota, food review numero uno. KPlow and Fork visit St. Paul.

The Findings:

BEWARE! Biking to St. Paul from Minneapolis via Summit Avenue is shockingly entertaining. Sorry Mpls, St. Paul has you beat!

First, there were hordes of graying half-century plus men in bike gangs dressed in overly tight fitting spandex. Note: bulges accentuated in all the wrong places.

(Photo via Metro)

Think this guy, but more grey and and mid-thigh tights!

Round two, smoking weed in farm trucks with your boys before hitting up the wedding party, dressed in your finest formal wear has migrated from the rural areas and is now all the rage across the river. Remember, keep your windows down too so you can really give the cops the thumbs up when you see them! Finally, do make sure to attempt to bike in St. Paul, near the Xcel Center when a Friday night Coldplay concert start time is in t minus one hour. Screw Mall of America, the people watching crown has moved to the streets pre-Coldplay concerto.

Alright, enough with transportation ramblings, onto the food.

As I had previously mentioned, the menu really had me excited. See here. A charcuterie plate, fried Danish starchy goodness, a salad with cured salmon…sadly however the descriptions created high expectations that unfortunately, did not measure up.

To begin, the food arrived in cardboard trays save for the charcuterie platter.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure they save hordes of money and are saving some unfortunate soul the horrors of having to be a dishwasher (oh yes, I have been there) but really people? Cardboard is for food trucks. If I’m going to pay you money for a sit-down meal, at least give me some cheap Corelle dishes. Thank god they opted out on the plastic fork, knifes and spoons.

What did arrive was decent but by no means worth the money spent when I could have paid the same price for grub of higher caliber and on a plate, for certain, back over the river. The sliders my dining cohorts ordered were fine, and there were a variety of appealing morsel to fill the fluffy little potato buns, but it was just what the menu said and nothing more. The prosciutto was just prosciutto, the cheese, just cheese. There wasn’t a balsamic onion reduction with rosemary and freshly cracked pepper with the cheese. Or for that matter, a red wine infused fig compote to accompany the prosciutto. Come on people. Get with making scrumptious little morsels even more delicious. White Castle was made for a reason, crank it up a notch!

The charcuterie plate (which, if you are unfamiliar with the term 'charcuterie,' is cured meats, sausages, pates, terrines, etc) was generic.

The prosciutto was dry and well aged but there was some form of bone sliced into the meat, which is something I have never encounter eating prosciutto before. The summer sausage was generic in taste and in the visual department as well. I probably think it was bought from Costco. The terrine was overly spiced with cloves while the bacon wrapped around the outside did not help with the flavor. Olives…generic. Pickled onions overly sweet with no acidity. Blah.

The gem and shining moment both times I have been to the Amsterdam has been the fries.

If you are in the area do swing by for these bad boys. They are thick cut, loaded with salt and pepper, properly fried and come with a wide array of dipping sauces to further delish them up. They also work perfectly in the cardboard tray. Attention Amsterdam, just stick with the fries.

Well, folks, there you have it. KPlow’s endorsements for today: If the Amsterdam were a first date, I don’t think they'd deserve a round two. Save your time, and money for that matter. Head for a sit down meal at a gastro pub/bar like Pat’s Tap where you can get some food on an actual plate that had more than a few minute prep time and will excite instead of de-light your taste buds.

However, if I met the Amsterdam again I wouldn’t be opposed for getting a cheap drink if I was in the area. And if you are there and have the munchies I would encourage you to fork out the few bucks for the fries.

Nice to meet you Amsterdam. Maybe I’ll see you around, but don’t expect a call back.

Big thanks to KPlow for making her inaugural contribution to Newest Industry. For more of KPlow's views on food, be sure to check her blog Nettlefetter. Always an intriguing read.

As always, this blog is on Twitter (@NewestIndustry1) and on the Facebook. Stop by and give us a 'like' if you have a chance.

Songs Of The Week #1: MinneSarah & TCDroogsma

Angus Stone, Antibalas, John Mark Nelson, Fawn, & Cjell Cruze...

Hey music fans!  Welcome to the inaugural edition of Songs Of The Week in which we ask a couple of our contributors to give us a brief review of the previous week's 'Song Of The Day' tracks provided by The Current.

If you're unfamiliar with the 'Song Of The Day,' it's basically a free song given out each weekday.  To check it out for yourself, follow this link to The Current's Song Of The Day page.  As an added little bonus, a local artist is spotlighted with each Friday post.

This week TCDroogsma & MinneSarah had a go at the tracks and gave them scores out of 5.

So if ya don't know, now ya know.  Let's get to the reviews:

01.  Angus Stone - Wooden Chair (from the album Broken Lights)

MinneSarah:

     The whistles and handclaps and your friend letting out a little "hey" in the studio has got to stop, people!  I mean right now.  This song was a perfectly vanilla song recounting the age old realization that time passes and things change.  The singer's voice sounds young, making me think that this is what Ben Lee's solo stuff would be like were he fifteen years younger.  As the embellishments really date this song - the highest praise I can give it (besides that comparison to Ben Lee, that was free, Angus) is that I might invite this song to any pity party I have before it expires in the next five months.

TCDroogsma:

     According to Last.fm, Angus Stone is half of a folk duo with his sister Julia.  Could you imagine being a sensitive, bearded Australian guy singing these sweet, emotional songs with his sister to a crowd full of women with that accent?!? Dude must have crazy amounts of easy sex.  Of course, he probably cries during most of it, but still... Good gig.

     Anyway, this song had me with the strumming and, 'Hey!' bit at the beginning, but once he started singing about how he used to be in love I checked out pretty quickly.  I did perk back up when the whistling started as nothing annoys me more than whistling in songs.  When did we decide this was OK, America?  I'm going to pistol whip Andrew Bird next time I see him.

Final Score:  MinneSarah - 1/5
                   TCDroogsma - 1/5
 
02.  Antibalas - Dirty Money (from the album Antibalas)

MinneSarah:

     Hit me!  This song makes me imagine I'm in a club on sunset strip in the sixties experiencing an African cultural revival, that was hip, right?  The intro is groovalicious, but lasts forever.  Lyrically, I'm not trying to knock any cultural heritage, but song lyrics about mangoes falling from trees in this day and age makes me wonder how much Harry Belefonte's banana lyrics influenced the group while they were growing up.   I do enjoy how many instruments are included, as soon as I get sick of horns, the organ kicks in vying for some attention.  Overall, if afrobeat ain't your scene (and if it is, you may well be in the minority), you probably won't want to listen to this song through again.

TCDroogsma:

     Afrobeat?  I'm fucking out.  Squeaking horns?  Bland organs?  No way.  Where do people even listen to shit like this?  Driving?  At home?  I feel like only Dave Sitek could listen to something like this and actually enjoy it.

     During the call and response bit, I thought the background singers were yelling 'New Order!' after the lead guy said the 'dirty money' bit.  For a second I thought this was a beef track between Antibalas and Bernard Summer, which is genuinely the only circumstance that will get me to listen to an Antibalas track.

Final Score: MinneSarah - 1/5
                  TCDroogsma - 0/5

 03.  John Mark Nelson - Reminisce (from the album Waiting And Waiting)

 
 MinneSarah:

     This song starts out like the theme from a 1950's movie - a sweet basic repetitive melody, Polynesian beat accents behind a gradual increase from a string ensemble, and soft vocals.  However, the lyrics to this song sound more like they would be on a brat pack soundtrack.   The song adds a few handclaps for good measure, but falls short of anything but bittersweet background music.

TCDroogsma:

     Honestly, there was a lot of things to like about this song.  The strings/marimba bit was a good start.  The verse builds into the chorus nicely.  Unfortunately, the lyrics sound like they were written by the bastard child of Conor Oberst & Justin Vernon except they never bothered to teach him what a metaphor is.  And he has a learning disability.  And he's been drinking.

     The lesson, as always, don't trust people with three first names.


Final Score: MinneSarah - 1/5
                  TCDroogsma - 2/5

04.  Fawn - Hurricane Fire (from the album Coastlines)

 
MinneSarah:

      I honestly had to look up this band just to make sure that Thurston Moore didn't kidnap Franz Ferdinand and make them record this song. While I personally don't enjoy female/male vocal harmonies, it is a defining aspect of this song, there's no escaping it.  I did enjoy the layering of the guitars - I appreciate anything that combines shoegaze with poppiness.  Reverb can be your friend, and Fawn sure does embrace this idea.  This song didn't really do it for me, but I wouldn't discount what the rest of this album may hold.

TCDroogsma:

     You can plug in guitars and "amplify" their sound with electricity?!?  After those first three songs I had totally forgot that you could do that.

     It's possible that this song only sounds so good because of the three songs before it, but I really liked this one.  I've always been a sucker for the boy/girl approach to vocals.  It catches a real nice groove.  When it all comes together in the last third of the track with the girl doing one bit, the guy doing the 'people keep on talking' bit and then meeting up for the 'oohh-oohh-ooh-oohh' was pretty fucking stellar.

     Plus, let's be honest, this is a song about how haters gon' hate.  Of course I like it.

Final Score: MinneSarah - 1/5
                  TCDroogsma - 3/5

05.  Cjell Cruze - Train Song (from the album The Ropes)

 
MinneSarah:

     Harmonica...tambourine...overstressed vocal harmonies...this does not bode well.  The feigned dopey vocal delivery creates an effective droning that pushes the song through harmonica and guitar solos. The vocal delivery mirrors the story told through the song, an onerous journey through the Midwest, a hard cross to bear on his way to a new life in California. We don't know that he makes it, but can tell that he obviously thinks something better awaits him.  I have that hope as well.  As for me, I'll take my chances on the Empire Builder without my headphones.

TCDroogsma:

     So this is what we're doing this week, Sota?  Sweet fucking Christ I hate music like this.  Harmonicas, lyrics about 'the conductor' and shit...  Are you really hopping fucking trains?  Are you trying to find a job picking fucking lemons?  Will you tell me again about the rabbits?  Fuck this song.

Final Score:  MinneSarah - 1/5
                   TCDroogsma - 0/5  

Well there you have it folks.  Thanks to MinneSarah & TCDroogsma for taking time out of their busy, busy lives to break down this week's tracks for us.

Obviously, the opinions posted here are merely the opinions of the contributors.  This site and its contributors are in no way affiliated with MPR, The Current, or these artists.

For more of the always charming MinneSarah she can be found on Twitter (@MinneSarah) and on Instagram as MinneSarah.  She'd like to pet your cat, if you don't mind.

For more of the seldom charming TCDroogsma he can also be found on Twitter (@TCDroogsma), Instagram (TCDroogsma) and on his own blog Caffeine & Obscenities.  He would rather you didn't try to pet his dog, if you don't mind.

Of course, this blog is on Twitter (@NewestIndustry1) and has a Facebook page.  Be a pal and give us a 'like' if you, errr... like what we do here. 

Meal Time !#2: TCDroogsma at Ping's Szechuan Bar & Grill

Oh, we got Ping...

Oh, hello again my hungry friends. It was getting a little late Sunday night and I was tired, hungry, and a little drunk. So I decided to take a stroll down to the neighborhood Chinese spot, Ping's Szechuan Bar & Grill (which will be shortened to just 'Ping's' for the rest of this post).

If you're unfamiliar with Ping's, it is somewhat of a staple in the Stevens/Nicollet Mall community. It's located at 1401 Nicollet, just at the southern edge of Nicollet Mall.  Check their website here for more info.

I've been there once or twice before and I honestly have no idea how this place makes enough money to stay open. I turned up around 8 and this is what the place looked like.

As you can see, it was a packed house. Big ups to the 18 for photobombing this shot though. Score another one for Metro Transit. I mean, do you know how big a bus is?!?  Timing is everything in life.

I came to the conclusion that Ping's must make all it's money with their lunch buffet.  I could totally see some Target Whore-porate (copyright: SwervinTaters) employees deciding to stroll down the mall and stuff their sexy faces with crab legs and lo mein noodles before heading back downtown and working on new ways to get a little dog to sell me socks.

So, as is my style, I posted up at the bar, which was equally bustling.

Outside of the ghost drinker, I pretty much had the place to myself.  Although I was a bit skeptical of that shady guy sitting by the window.  Come find out, son. Come find out.

Of course, there are a couple of regulars at Ping's.

 Damn! Koi fish like a motherfucker!

So, what to get?  Admittedly, I was craving some tofu, but all the tofu dishes on the menu had that stupid little pepper next to them indicating 'spicy.'  If you didn't know, I have the spice tolerance of a toddler who was raised on grapes & Enfamil.  However, there was one tofu dish on the menu that didn't have the pepper next to it:

(Cue the horns)

I present to you: Ping's Sesame Glazed Fried Tofu!

That's right!  A second straight Meal Time! featuring tofu & sesame seeds!  I didn't even plan this shit!  It's possible that I secretly love sesame seeds and don't even know it.

So, here's where we're at:

Location: Ping's
Time Of Day: 8:00 Sunday night
Ambiance: Non-existent, save for the Olympics on mute and stereotypical Chinese restaurant music
Level Of Sobriety: Medium
Level Of Energy: Like a cat in a sun room
Meal: Sesame Glazed Fried Tofu
Main Ingredient: Tofu
To The Side: White rice
Beverage: Tsingtao
Menu Price: $10.95 American for the tofu/rice. $5 American for the Tsingtao.
Total Price: $18 American (w/tip)

As you could imagine, I was pretty fucking psyched to see that small mountain of tofu sitting in front of me.  However, my enthusiasm was short-lived since, as you can see by the picture, there is not a vegetable to be found. Not a one.  I mean, I would've been pretty pissed off if there were mushrooms involved, but some onions or green peppers would've been nice.  Or better yet, broccoli.  Although adding broccoli almost certainly would've bumped up the price another $1.50 American since, as we all know, broccoli has the highest IQ of any vegetable.

I decided to have a Tsingtao with this meal because, well, when in Rome, etc...

(Pro Tip #1: Don't get Tsingtao. If you want to know why the Chinese are so ruthlessly efficient, look no further than this beer. You'd have to drink something like 30 of these things to get a buzz.)

As the picture above shows, the tofu cubes were large. In fact, I actually cut a couple of them in half. They were also cooked perfectly, with the outside being nice & crisp and the innards chewy.  When I find myself craving tofu, I'm craving that kind of texture.  Well played, Ping's.

Unlike the B-LB scramble (where I couldn't figure out why the sesame seeds were involved), the sesame seeds actually provided a nice little kick to the tofu.  Crunchy seeds + crunchy outer tofu + chewy inner tofu = delicious.  I'm coining the phrase 'Ping's Theorem' for that equation.

However, since there are not vegetables, the deliciousness of this meal hinged almost entirely on the sesame glaze.  Let me tell you, it just didn't pass the test.  Unlike the typical 'brown sauce' that's found at most Chinese restaurants, this glaze didn't appear to contain any garlic to balance out the sweetness.  I mean, after five or six cubes, the glaze was just overwhelming.  I'm talking Mandy-Moore-Fronting-The-Lightning-Seeds levels of sweetness.  Frankly, it's just too damn much.

I managed to get through about half the mountain of tofu before I hit the wall.  As I've mentioned before, tofu is not particularly filling and this held true at Ping's.  Unfortunately, the glaze was just so fucking sweet that I thought my thyroid was going to come out of my throat and push the plate off the table.  I boxed up what was left, finished my beer, and headed home.

(Pro Tip #2:  We all know that nobody can go more than 90 minutes without digging into their Chinese food leftovers.  This is a two-way street with tofu, as the longer it sits in the fridge the more the flavor is absorbed by the cubes.  With a meal like this one it's important to go home, maybe drink some water, and then finish it off when the hunger hits.  If this sits in the fridge all night the tofu will absorb every last bit of that sugary glaze and you'll basically be eating cubed diabetes for lunch the next day.)

All things considered, this was not an un-delicious meal.  It was a disappointing one though.  This plate of tofu seems like it would be fantastic as a shared appetizer for a group of three or four people, but I'm just one man.  It's just overwhelming.

Let's break this thing down:

Flavor: 4/10 - Initially delicious, but much like sex that goes on longer than 45 minutes, it just had to stop.

Filling: 3/10 - Tofu just isn't filling.  Anytime you have to stop eating a meal for a reason other than a full belly, you're probably getting a low 'filling' score.

Price: 2/10 - I paid $18 American for this?!?  I mean, I could've picked a better beer.  That's on me.  But $10.95 American for the type of tofu I could get at any shitty wok in MPLS.... sorry, Ping's.  That's just not happening.

Ambiance: 7/10 - I suppose this ranking depends on how you feel about people.  As I dislike pretty much all people, I'm bumping it up.  Since I also like sports on television, it gets a 7.  Admittedly, though, it is a little odd sitting in that big restaurant with nothing but smug fish & servers looking at you while you eat.  And that one guy.  Fuck that guy.

Service: 10/10 - I dealt exclusively with the bartender called Spencer.  Spencer has clearly been doing playing this game for a long time.  He was super prompt (though, again, I was the only person there), friendly, chatty, and mildly handsome in an ugly sort of way (like David Schwimmer).  Frreal, this guy's killin' it.

If This Meal Was A Simpsons Character It Would Be: Nelson Muntz.  Nice when deployed in the right setting (i.e. appetizer for a large group), but far too one-dimensional to carry a whole episode (or meal).

How Many Times Would I Eat This Per Month If I Could Afford To: Zero. Sorry, Spencer.  It's not your fault.

Overall Score: 3/10 - Just not getting the job done as a meal.  I think I spent the night sweating out that glaze.  $18 American to sweat out a meal is unreasonable.  It just is.

That's that.  I'll leave you with this:  I was given two fortune cookies at the end of the night.  I was not with anybody else.

First of all, cookies, I'm a chronic procrastinator. It's never a good time to finish up old task.  Second, if you're willing to classify student loan officers as 'fortune hunters,' then yeah, you kinda nailed that one, thanks for reminding me. Smart ass cookie...

For more TCDroogsma, he can be found on Twitter (@TCDroogsma).  He also maintains his own blog, Caffeine & Obscenities which you should check out if you've finished up reading every other thing on the internet.

Of course, this blog can be found on Twitter as well (@NewestIndustry1) and we now have our own Facebook page here.  If you dig what we do check it out and give it a like.  I mean, we like you, y'know? Fair is fair.

New-Newest Industry!

This Is Gonna Get Worse Before It Gets Better

Hey everybody!

Just wanted to drop a line and let everybody know that the tentacles of Newest Industry have latched on to even more social media.

We've created a Facebook page here. If you have the chance, hit that up and give us that oh-so validating blue-and-gray thumbs up.

If you're curious, here's where you can find more stuff from the regular contributors.

MinneSarah (Instagram: MinneSarah, Twitter: @MinneSarah)
Justin Meyers (Instagram: BadSequence, His label Tone Filth)
TCDroogsma (Instagram: TCDroogsma, Twitter: @TCDroogsma, his blog Caffeine & Obscenities)
SwervinTaters (Twitter: @SwervinTaters)

Of course, we're still hopelessly addicted to Twitter. The blog can be found @NewestIndustry1.

Pimp, pimp, pimp... promo, promo, promo...

Later.

Ryan's Record Of The Week #5: 'The One And Only' OBN III's

Ryan presents: 'The One And Only OBN III's"

Hey, rock n rollers. Our good friend Ryan is back to talk about what's hot in the streets. Believe it or not, it's not his taxes.

Take a look while Ryan talks about the new album from The OBN III's, "The One And Only OBN III's."

Boom! Out of Austin, Texas, sounding like The Stooges, Dead Boys, Dictators... That sounds like a winning combination.

For a look at just what The OBN III's are all about, watch this clip of them playing, "No Way To Rock And Roll."

Damn! Wish we'd known about that St. Paul show...

Speaking of which, if you were at that show in St. Paul last month and weren't able to cop that new LP or if you're just looking for one last album to soundtrack your summer, well, get down to Extreme Noise and give it a spin. Ryan's down there, looking even more handsome than he does in the videos.

For more on The OBN III's, check out their Facebook page here or their Bandcamp page here. 

For more on Extreme Noise, check their website here.

As always, thanks to Ryan. Puttin' the scene on his back, doo.

Of course, this blog is on Twitter (@NewestIndustry1). Check it out, give it a follow.