Ten & Six With Mike Otto: Vikings 2012 Season Preview!

Hot damn! It's a new day!

Welcome back to Mike Otto's coverage of the 2012 Minnesota Vikings. Mike is a lifelong Vikes fan and he'll be sharing his predictions and thoughts as the season goes along. As you may have noticed, we've changed the name from Purple Prognostications to Ten & Six. All will be revealed at the end of the column.

After breaking down both the offense and the defense we asked Mike to make his predictions for the season. Have at it, Mike.

FINAL PREDICTIONS

He wipes the sweat from his brow as he walks up under center, surveying the defense. Noticing the safety cheating towards the line, he looks and Percy and taps his right thigh. Hot route, baby. The ball is snapped, he fakes a draw to Adrian and lofts a perfectly thrown ball to the back corner of the end zone. Touchdown. His name is Christian Ponder.

Any football prediction is based on quite a few “what-if's,” a handful of “could-be's,” and at least 2 or 3 “pretty please's?” This couldn't be more true of the 2012 Minnesota Vikings. For a football team to succeed, everything must go right and timing is everything. For success, the Vikings offense must be perfectly in sync and the defennse must be a squad of overachieving opportunists. This team is built for close games, so, needless to say, every play will be of the utmost importance. THEY MUST EXECUTE!

Now, I will give you a brief week by week synopsis of the wins/losses and how/why they occur. Look for more detailed breakdowns of the matchups each Saturday before gameday.

(Editors Note: Mike's in-depth preview of this week's Vikings/Jaguars matchup will appear later this week.)

(Mike's Note: All season and personal stat predictions are based on Vikings players remaining relatively injury free and are subject to change over the course of the season)

Week 1: Jaguars at Vikings

Prediction: Win: 20-13

I think the Vikes will come out fast in this one but fall flat in the second half, sweating out a clunker of a game that should never have been in question

 

 Week 2: Vikings at Colts

Prediction: Win: 28-24

Andrew Luck gets his first taste of what an elite NFL defensive end (Jared Allen) can do. Adrian scores 2 while Christian scores 2. Hope is selling!

Week 3: Vikings at 49ers

Loss: 17-6

The team (and expectations) come back down to earth as we fail to get in the end zone while Alex Smith & Randy Moss connect for a game-icing touchdown

Week 4: Vikings at Lions

Prediction: Loss: 42-24

If Calvin Johnson and Mathew Stafford are both healthy, our secondary, and team in general, have no chance.

Week 5: Titans at Vikings

Prediction: Win: 24-17

Jake Locker vs. Christian Ponder. CP7 throws for 1, runs for 1, and the Vikes win a nail biter.

Week 6: Vikings at Redskins

Prediction: Loss: 31-21

Vikings are notoriously bad at limiting dual-threat quarterbacks. RGIII may have his coming out party against us.

Week 7: Cardinals at Vikings

Prediction: Win: 27-14

John Skelton and Kevin Kolb. That is all.

Week 8: Buccaneers at Vikings

Prediction: Win: 28-13

I think the Bucs will be a terrible team this year. Vikings handed them a game last year. That will not happen this time. The squad scores 4 TD's and the outcome is never in doubt.

Week 9: Vikings at Seachickens

Prediction: Win: 31-28

Imperative the Vikings come out with a win here. I think the Seahawks are a playoff team, but the Vikings match up well against them. Gonna be an exciting game won on a Blair Walsh kick as time expires.

Week 10: Lions at Vikings

Prediction: Loss: 35-31

The Vikings play them a lot tougher this time around, but Megatron is just too much to handle. Tough loss. 31 points should be enough to win, but not this time.

Week 11: Bye

Please nobody get arrested.

Week 12: Vikings at Bears

Prediction: Loss: 17-14

The Vikings are historically an excellent team coming out of the bye, but two consecutive divisional road games will change that this year. This Black & Blue Division contest will be close, but late Viking drives will stall, leading to the loss.

Week 13: Vikings at Packers

Prediction: Loss: 31-24

After a third consecutive hard-fought divisional game ends in a loss, a 6-3 record has suddenly become 6-6 and a season hangs in limbo. I can see the Strib headline now, “Limbo At Lambeau.”

Week 14: Bears at Vikings

Prediction: Win: 20-14

Another imperative Vikings victory. Time is now to stop the bleeding on a three game losing streak. The season will go one of two ways this week and I think this beam wants it bad. Vikings win behind two CP7 TD's

Week 15: Vikings at Rams

Prediction: Win: 24-20

Could be a let-down game for the purple. If they have the competitive fire I think they do they will maintain focus and squeak out a victory.

Week 16: Vikings at Texans

Prediction: Win: 27-21

A lot of the “experts” have the Texans in the Super Bowl. This is crazy to me. Can you remember a time that Arian Foster, Matt Schaub, and Andre Johnson were all healthy at the end of the year? No? That's because it doesn't happen! Two of them will be out for this one and the Vikings will win.

Week 17: Packers at Vikings

Prediction: Win: 35-34

Questions abound in this one! Will Packers' starters be playing? Will the Vikings be fighting for a playoff spot? Will AP be healthy? Yes, yes, and YES! Vikings win!

FINAL PREDICTION: 10-6

Hey hey! Now it's time for my predictions regarding Vikings statistical leaders in the major categories!

 Passing Yards: CP7 – 3,000

Passing Completions: CP7 – 375
Passing Completion %: CP7 – 62%

Passing TD's: CP7 – 22

Passing INT's: CP7 – 16

 Rushing Yards: AP – 1,100

Rushing Attempts: Toby Gerhart – 240

Yards Per Rush: AP – 5.0

Rushing TD's: AP – 14

Receiving Yards: Percy – 1,050

Receptions: Kyle Rudolph – 85

Receiving TD's: Kyle Rudolph – 11

Yards Per Reception: Jerome Simpson – 18.0

Receptions Of 20+ Yards: Jerome Simpson – 16

Sacks: Jared Allen – 18

Tackles: Chad Greenway – 150

Tackels For Loss: Kevin Williams – 12

Passes Defended: Antoine Winfield – 14

Interceptions: Chris Cook – 4

Fumbles Forced: Harrison Smith – 3

Fumbles Recovered: Chad Greenway – 5

Defensive TD's: Harrison Smith – 2

Kick Return TD's: Percy – 1

Punt Return TD's: Jarius Wright – 1

So that's my thoughts on all that jazz. In summary, I think the Vikings success or failure this year will come down to 5 things. And they are...

FACTOR #1: Non-Divisional Record

I have us going 2-4 within the NFC North, so a stellar record against non-divisoinal opponents will be essential to a winning season. Non-divisional opponents of the Vikings look weak to me and this bodes well for our favorite squad.

FACTOR #2: CP7

This team will go as Christian Ponder goes. If he can stay on the field while keeping his TD total above his INT total the Vikes will be fine. Don't expect a 2-1 TD/INT ratio just yet, but he will improve.

FACTOR #3: The Secondary

They were terrible in 2011. If the additions of rookies Harrison Smith and Josh Robinson can even get the secondary toward an 'average' performance this year it will pay dividends in the Win column.

FACTOR #4: Adrian Peterson's Health

Without him in the lineup, CP7 TD's go down while his INT's go up. Our points per game take a GIANT, SEASON-CHANGING hit without him and the defense has less time to rest. These are all bad things. Fingers crossed.

FACTOR #5: Rookie Kicker Blair Walsh

As I previously mentioned, this team is built for close games. That being said, we CANNOT leave any points on the filed. Blair Walsh and whether or not he makes his kicks could be the difference between 10-6 and 6-10. I think the kid makes 'em when he needs to. For fuck's sake, he better!

So, in my mind right now, 10-6 is possible, but the Vikings can't have a single let down (especially outside of the division). I have us at 8-2 against non-division opponents and anything short of that won't get the job done. At 10-6 we will be fighting for the final wild card spot because I have the Lions at 11-5 and the Packers at 12-4. No promises from this guy on the playoffs.

Management seems to believe that the worst thing for this team would be a head coaching change. I think Leslie Frazier's job will be safe as long as he tallies at least 6 wins this year. There are a couple big name coaches without a team and you can believe that's in the back of Frazier's mind.

He wipes the sweat from his brow as he approaches the bar. He sees the bartender cheating towards the pretty girls at the other end and signals to Travis to take the table in the common area. The server lofts a perfect coaster toss on the table and asks what we'll have. Touchdown.

My name is Mike Otto.

Indeed it is. Thanks to Mike for dropping by the blog to drop purple knowledge bombs on us. For more of Mike you can find him on Twitter (@SwervinTaters)

Of course, this blog is on Twitter as well (@NewestIndustry1) and on Facebook here. Stop by and give us a 'like' for Ponder's sake!

Songs Of The Week #4: MinneSarah & TCDroogsma

The Antlers, Dan Deacon, Lydia Loveless, Alt-J, Ben Rosenbush & The Brighton...

Hey everybody!  We're back with Songs Of The Week #4.  Again this week we've asked MinneSarah & TCDroogsma to give us their thoughts on last week's batch of The Current's Song Of The Day podcast.  As we've mentioned many times, be sure to go here and subscribe to the blog yourself.

Alright, kids.  What did you think?

The Antlers - Crest (from the album Undersea)

MinneSarah: 

     This song is pretty downtempo, but I like how it starts with the drums.  I wonder if Tricky got together with Morphine and Jeff Buckley if this is what would have come up? Maybe? It's sort of boring and drones on for an under four minute song.  Here are three places you would get the maximum enjoyment of this song:  walking home in the rain from the grocery store, on a boat at sunset but the sky is cloudy, on the KIDS soundtrack (they dealt with some real stuff, for kids).  They get an extra half a point because I seem to recall they are on Frenchkiss Records which usually always has exceptionally good taste.

TCDroogsma:

     I really like the vibe this song has going. The instrumentation in the song has a really cool 'film-noir' type vibe to it, especially the distant trumpet sound.

     Lyrically, it's fine, but the real problem with the song lies in the fact that the vocal melody never seems to materialize. Now, for the record, I'm a big fan of bands like Supergrass & E-LO, bands that stack hooks on hooks on hooks. There is some virtue in stepping back from the microphone and letting the instruments sell the song, but I feel like this song is one killer chorus from being a real gem. Still, I can appreciate this song for what it is rather than what it isn't. Plus, it definitely gets better with repeated listens.

Final Score: MinneSarah - 2.5

                  TCDroogsma - 3 

Dan Deacon - True Thrush (from the album America)

MinneSarah:

     More is more.  I said that last week with that Leisure birds track, but this time it's too much.  The weird baby and backward talking vocals is doing nobody any favors.  Only Missy Elliot can pull that off.  There is so much going on in this song, it actually makes me nervous.  It did when I heard it the first time, and also after three glasses of wine.  Don't do drugs, kids.  Or do, maybe you would get this song and could explain it to me.  I do enjoy the uptempo-ness of this song.  Places you could listen to this song:  A fireworks party (don't blow your hand off), an elfen toy factory (Matel go real hard), a waterpark where there are dogs in sunglasses present.

TCDroogsma:

     When I was in New York I actually had a bit of a Dan Deacon phase (yeah, it was a strange time in my life). His album Bromst & Spiderman Of The Rings got the most plays. Part of what made them great was the fact that they were relentless. Everything all the time, everything all the time!

      With “True Thrush” he seems to have taken a step away from that attitude and landed somewhere closer to Dosh on the musical spectrum (although the Daffy Duck vocals, his trademark, do turn up). I actually really enjoy this song, but I'm not totally sure if someone who's completely new to Dan Deacon would 'get it,' y'know?

Final Score: MinneSarah - 1

                  TCDroogsma - 3.5 

Lydia Loveless - Can't Change Me (from the album Indestructible Machine)

 
MinneSarah:

     Alright.  I don't like twangy songs, female vocals, or most things in general.  However, the lyrics to this song are fantastic.  "That's gonna change how you feel about me, baby, but it won't change me" is akin to my favorite White Stripes song, "Ball and a Biscuit" (yes, I like 7 minute songs sometimes) in which Jack White proclaims, "it was the other two that made me your third, but it's my mother that made me the seventh son."  I love lyrics that are drunken "you don't know me," and "I'm nobody but in relation to myself."  Every lyric in this song is my favorite. "But i swear that every hangover is gonna be my last, and it looks like only whiskey's gonna kick my ass and have me still come back."  Yeah, I like it.  "Being good is killin' me inside."  Places you could listen to this song include:  The Turf Club, Lee's Liquor Lounge, and surprisingly, The Amsterdam.

TCDroogsma:

     It's appropriate that this song came out during State Fair week because that's exactly what it sounds like. I know nothing of Lydia Loveless except this song, but she is definitely giving off that 'country girl gone bad' vibe. Of course, with a name as constructed as 'Lydia Loveless' I have a hard time believing that vibe is anything but constructed as well.

    She has a great, Neko Case kind of voice, but these 'You don't know me!' lyrics are straight out of an episode of The Jenny Jones Show. If she was actually the drunken spitfire she's pretending to be in this song she never would have gotten her ass to the studio to record it. There's nothing wrong with building up a fake persona in pop music, but Christ, make up something original.

Final Score: MinneSarah - 4

                  TCDroogsma - 1 

Alt-J - Fitzpleasure (from the album An Awesome Wave)

MinneSarah:

     No.  I like the epic transitions in this song, but ummmm, does anyone else realize, these aren't real lyrics?  Like this isn't English, this isn't Spanish, this isn't Klingon.  This guy is singing in what those little magnetic hair heads guys sing in.  That is not a compliment.  The saving grace is that the rest of the song sort of sounds like a Chris Martin/Bono mashup, so yeah.  Not happy.  Epic transitions.  Where could you listen to this?:  Shopping at the mall in an ironic grandpa sweater and a backpack, Manu Chau's son's third birthday party, the beaches of Jupiter (I am so confused). 

TCDroogsma:

     Have you ever been listening to a hip-hop track and thought to yourself, “Damn, this beat bangs. Too bad the rapping is terrible?” Well, welcome to the indie-pop version of a Common album.

     The instrumentation on this track is fucking awesome. It builds and crumbles all based on that rib-rumbling bass line. Unfortunately, the vocals are the worst kind of hipster weird-for-weird's-sake bullshit (copyright Moe Scizlak). Take the brutal singing off this track and it's a 4 of 5 song. As it stands, you're looking at 2 of 5.

Final Score: MinneSarah - 1/5

                  TCDroogsma - 2/5 

Ben Rosenbush & The Brighton - This Fire (from the album A Wild Hunger)

 
MinneSarah:

     Nobody told these guys that Mumford and Sons aren't really all that. I don't blame them, that is some popular musicness.  But that doesn't make it good.  I'm not a fan.  This is very chimey, and droney.  Hipsters may give this fantastic marks.  I am bored.  It actually sounds better than Mumford and Sons, there I said it.  Places this would sound good:  a fire, that show with Dennis Leary about Firemen, the Winnipeg Folk Festival.

TCDroogsma:

     If we rounded up every singer-songwriter Minnesotan who uses nature as a metaphor for their personal life and put them all in one place I'm pretty sure it would be the third largest city in the state. Mason Jennings would be the mayor.

     Frreal, is there an assembly line at MPR studios that keeps spitting these things out? Jesus....

Final Score: MinneSarah - 1/5

                  TCDroogsma - 0/5

There you have it, everybody.  We hope you enjoyed these songs and, again, strongly suggest that you subscribe to the podcast yourself.  Be sure to check out the poll to the right and cast your vote for the best song of the week.

As always, this blog and its contributors are in no way associated with any of the acts above, The Current, or MPR.  We just have a lot of time on our hands.

For more of MinneSarah you can find her on Twitter (@MinneSarah) and Instragram as MinneSarah.  She's currently debating the merits of changing her name to all caps like DOOM.

For more TCDroogsma he can be found on Twitter (@TCDroogsma), Instagram as TCDroogsma, or over at his own blog Caffeine & Obscenities.  If you like pictures of donuts or cats, or if you like people who use swearing as a crutch for their limited vocabulary, you should check those out.

This blog maintains a Twitter account (@NewestIndustry1) and a Facebook page here. Stop by and give it a 'like' if you dig what we do.

 

Big Day Out! #1: MinneSarah At The State Fair

All the people, so many people...

 

Hey everybody!  Welcome to the very first edition of Big Day Out!  For its inaugural post our friend MinneSarah gathered up her mom and went to check out the Great Minnesota Get Together.  Have a look:

 

Folks, you've got one weekend left to go to the State Fair this year...take advantage of it!  Now I'm not one to enjoy large groups of people, animals raised for food that may carry pandemic viruses, and more sweat, dirt, trash, and sun than you can shake a pickle on a stick at.

But...there is seriously something for everyone at the state fair...from the MN Knitter's Guild to giant pumpkins to taxidermied hyena.  Seriously awesome and unique experiences that you've been waiting all year to have.  I had a limited agenda and limited amount of time but still managed to pack it full of some of the best the state has to offer.

 

 

I went on Senior Day and met up with my mom, which was a whole lotta fun.  The day was perfect, which meant it was about to get real packed. It started as a nice, quiet day at the fair and turned busy and hot, but what are you going to do?  If you wanted a bench you were out of luck...  Lots of scooters, but not a lot of lines.  Senior day is always the best day at the fair.  Any day you can make it will probably be just as good, although you may find yourself surrounded by more children and drunk people (you may even be one of them)!

I'm going to detail the attractions that I would recommend you go to while they are still in season:

 

Agriculture building - From political seed art to a room full of irises, the MN Homebrewer's Association to the state's best veggie collection, the Agriculture Building is a must see that has withstood the test of time.

 

 

Illuminarium - New to the fair, this life sized sculpture was designed by a British guy and made in Nottingham, England.  It is as close as I can imagine to being inside a human heart.  You must remove your shoes (bring some socks!) and can walk through different chambers, sort of like a maze.  It is held up by air that is pumped in to keep it inflated, and features soothing lights and sounds - very futuristic and yet relaxing.

 

 

Giant Sing-A-Long - Minnesota Karaoke on a stick, well, there are several mics on stands and you can come and go and sing along to Minnesota's favorite songs (voted by Minnesotans before the fair) in a group.  Mom and I sang "She Works Hard For The Money" by Donna Summer.

 

 

Doggies Of The Wild West - Located just outside of Heritage Square, this half hour long show features some adorable rescue pups performing amazing feats on a stage...wait for it...coach.  They wear little bandannas and will wow you with their awesome and adorable little doggie tricks.  As my mom said, "It's not the Ordway, but it's the best free show you'll see all day."

 

 

Watch out for Puddles the chihuahua.

 

 

Sky ride - For only $3.50 you can be transported over the fair in style (well, a yellow, green, or cow spotted bucket cart).  Get the best views of the giant yellow slide, the grandstand, and the Disney kid stage.

 

 

Food building -  Let's be real (can I be real for a moment?)  The number one reason people come to the fair is to stuff their faces with more fried food than anyone should eat in an entire year.  Located next to the beer garden and full of all sorts of fried goodness on sticks, the food building has something for everyone.  Vegan picks include Falafel King's veggie sandwich or falafel on a stick, frozen lemonade, the kombucha bar at the Greek booth, and frozen grapes on a stick.

 

 

That's about all I had time to explore.  I'd recommend going early to beat the crowds, staying hydrated, and using the park and ride system.  Have fun!

 

There it is folks.  Giant British hearts, falafel, Puddles the Chihuahua... Shit... You find me another state's fair that goes this hard.

 

Big thanks to MinneSarah for checking out the festivities while the rest of us continue to fight the good fight against jealousy & agoraphobia.  We call it jeagoraphobiasy.  As of yet, the DSM-IV has not acknowledged the affliction.

 

For more of the always lovely MinneSarah she can be found on Twitter (@MinneSarah), on Instagram as MinneSarah, and just about anywhere show pups are performing in the greater Twin Cities area.

 

Of course this blog maintains a Twitter of its own (@NewestIndustry1) and can be found on the Facebook here.  For every 'like' we get we'll devote 10 minutes to training our animals to perform a stage show.  Likely not a Wild West show, since that's been done.  Maybe an Far East show.  Do they make kimonos for dogs?  Give us a 'like' and we'll all find out.

 

Songs Of The Week #3: MinneSarah & TCDroogsma

Yeasayer, Bloc Party, Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti, Allah-Las, Leisure Birds...

Hey everybody! Welcome to the third edition of Songs Of The Week. Yet again, we've enlisted MinneSarah & TCDroogsma to break down The Current's free Song Of The Day podcast for last week. We highly recommend you click here to go to The Current's site and download the podcast yourself.

Break it down for us, kids.

Yeasayer – Longevity (from the album Fragrant World)

MinneSarah:

      I'm not very familiar with Yeasayer, so reviewing this song may hit on some obvious defining style trademarks that may translate to all of their songs - like, the singer really likes Michael Jackson, their songs seem to be projected onto a canvas of synthy beats, and the rest of the band appears to enjoy dancing on the Science Museum's musical stairs. Bear with me. This song has a lulling tempo for being a pure pop song, which reminds me of the ocean, which they reference in the lyrics - smart.  The lyrics are pretty positive, if you need a kick in the ass to start doing stuff (which, let's be honest, who doesn't).  They bust out the strings and end with pure drums, which kept the song interesting through the waves of lyrical delivery.

TCDroogsma:

      I was really sold on Yeasayer a couple years ago on the strength of their singles “Ambling Alp” and “O.N.E.” Both those songs were glorious messes of keyboards, hooks, and interesting lyrics. “Longevity,” however, possesses none of those. I listened to this song a half dozen times this week trying to will it to stick in my head. It just wasn't happening. Despite my best efforts, this track sounds like a throwaway from an Of Montreal record.

Final Score:  MinneSarah - 3/5

                   TCDroogsma - 2/5

Bloc Party – Octopus (from the album Four)

 
(Ed. Note: Check that 'Pro Kings' shirt Kele's wearing.  He's like bizarro P.O.S.)

MinneSarah:

     Yay!  Bloc Party is back!  I've already packed up Kele's solo stuff and am already on to this new album.  Kudos to them for releasing "Octopus" as their first single, as this song does a good job of bridging the gap between what we were all expecting and the rest of their new album, Four (which is good, I'm just gonna need a few more listens).  This song has super high energy, amped up vocals, fast drums, and what I can best classify as "laser guitar."  I couldn't stop shakin' it like I just drank some five hour energy.  Fans of Bloc Party who long for 2005, this is a fresh take on what you have longed to hear.

TCDroogsma:

      Oh shit! New Bloc Party! Oh shit! This, um, isn't really going anywhere. Maybe once the chorus hits. Wait, that was the chorus? Well, at least the bridge will kill. That was the bridge? Sigh...

      You know what's funny? This isn't actually a bad song. All the Bloc Party elements are there. Kinda glitchy, kinda indie, kinda catchy... And yet, none of those elements jumps out. It's Bloc Party by numbers. If they took this song and either turned the guitars well up or made Kele Okereke's vocals louder/more passionate this would be a great single. As it stands it's just kind of meh. I'll bet it kills live though.

Final Score:  MinneSarah - 4/5

                   TCDroogsma - 3/5

Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti – Only In My Dreams (from the album Mature Themes)

 
MinneSarah:

     This song has a very sixties, California coast vibe.  I was ready to dismiss it as a little plain, dopey, and tiny bit cloying.  I like his vocals, except when he lowers it down and tries to get all Magnetic Fields - not cool, Ariel.  However simple and dopey this ballad to an imaginary girl may be, at least he shows a little arrogance by claiming "if only in my dreams, you're the luckiest girl.  In the world there is no other girl, luckier."  Way to sell it dude, I'm now somewhat convinced.

TCDroogsma:

      Damn! My first instinct when it comes to Ariel Pink is to try to find a way to tear them down solely because of the amount of hipster cocksucking that comes along with this band. I just couldn't do it this time.

      “Only In My Dreams” is an immaculate single. It's head is clearly in the 60's, but somehow that's not a bad thing. The verse has great hooks, the chorus has an even better hook (that baritone “you're the luckiest girl” bit is genius) and the kind of jangly guitars that sound like what the Yardbirds would sound like if they weren't awful. Plus, who can't relate to lyrics like, “If only in my dreams, you'll be right there next to me.” Just a lovely song.

Final Score:  MinneSarah - 2/5

                   TCDroogsma - 4/5

Allah-Las – Don't You Forget It (from the album Allah-Las)

 
MinneSarah:

     You'd think it wouldn't be a good sign when picking these songs back up to review, I seemed to have ignored the advice of the song and forgotten which track was "Don't you forget it." That aside, while listening to it, this song is pretty retro and chill and also has a high hater ranking!  When the singer croons, "I think I found a girl I can talk to...yeah I found a girl that just might replace you," I couldn't help but maybe think he was talking about an adorable cat - it's never made clear, so let's go with that theory.  This is a psychedelic sounding, California ballad...but not in a bad way.  It's actually pretty darn catchy. 

TCDroogsma:

      Ugh... This is what happens when your head is too deep into the 60's. As bands like The Black Lips and, evidently, Ariel Pink, have proven, those no shame in stealing from the 60's if you put your own twist on it. This song sounds like The Rolling Stones when they go on autopilot. Keith Richards could write this in his sleep. I can't deny that it's kinda catchy, but Jesus Christ, we've all heard this a thousand times. Even the pseudo-asshole lyrics play as a pretty bad kiss off.

Final Score:  MinneSarah - 3/5

                   TCDroogsma - 2/5 

Leisure Birds – Egyptian Ring (from the album Globe Master)

 
MinneSarah:

     More is more!  This song is chocked full of sound elements, and I have to give them credit for keeping it all together.  The only thing that is Egyptian about this song is the band's liberal use of dissonants - and on the synthesizer/electric organ no less!  This tactic always has the risk of turning out like video game music, but hell, I'd play this game. The vocals deliberately fade a little, but when the lyrics are indiscernible, they still carry through the song like a haunting melody.

TCDroogsma:

      Another song bleeding 60's vibes?!? Hat trick! Sadly, this is the worst of the three. Let's just say that anytime the organ is responsible for the hook, you're probably fucking up. If you ever had a Doors phase in high school, you probably won't hate this. I had a Descendents phase in high school. I hate this.

Final Score:  MinneSarah - 3/5

                   TCDroogsma - 0/5

Well, there you have it, everybody. All the scruffy, bearded white people we're legally allowed to put on a blog.  Thanks for stopping by and checking this one out. We'll be back next week with installment #4

As always, the views here are solely those of the contributors. Neither Newest Industry or any of its contributors are in any way affiliated with the artists, The Current, or MPR.

For more of MinneSarah, you can follow her on Twitter (@MinneSarah) and on Instagram as MinneSarah. She's very similar to a desert cat. Think about it.

For more of TCDroogsma, you can follow him on Twitter (@MinneSarah), Instagram as TCDroogsma, and over on his own blog Caffeine & Obscenities. Although he's in no way affiliated with The Current, he'd like to be affiliated with their currency. Get at him, MPR.

Last, but surely not least, this blog can be found on Twitter (@NewestIndustry1) and on the Facebook here.

Meal Time! #3: TCDroogsma at Brasa Premium Rotisserie Restaurant

Come at me, Brasa! Come at me!

 Hey, errybody. How ya doing? I'm assuming that since you've stumbled onto this blog you're either hungry & curious or you've finally finished reading every other thing on the internet. Either way, thanks for stopping by.

As you can see from the picture right there, I took a trip to Brasa Rotisserie Restaurant. Brasa has two locations, one in St. Paul and one in Northeast. Obviously I went to the St. Paul location since, as I mentioned, the other one is in Northeast.

For more info and a good look at just what's on the menu, be sure to check out their website here.

Of course, since St. Paul is her city, I had to make sure to hook up with MinneSarah for the meal. She was psyched to come along, but, as you can see, far less psyched to have her picture taken. Fortunately, as that 7/8ths empty wine glass will attest, I'm not totally sure she even remembers me snapping this pic.

Now, I know what you're thinking: “Droogsy, aren't you and MinneSarah vegan? Why would you go to a rotisserie restaurant?” Well, yeah, we're still on that veggie grind, which is why I thought it was important to swing by Brasa. Turns out it's a sneaky-awesome vegan spot. Be honest, you didn't know that until I told you. Just be sure to ask for the vegetarian menu from your server.

We stopped by on a Wednesday at about 6:00. The place was jumpin' like a Destiny's Child single. Take a look at the picture. See those seats near the far end next to the screen. That's where we ended up. It was awesome getting a nice little breeze during dinner. It did, however, make my photos all wonky. Trust me, none of the plates were blue, despite their appearance here.

Now, before we get to the meal, I would be remiss if I didn't mention the fact that Brasa serves their own homemade soda. They've concocted a guava lime soda (which I've yet to try) and a fucking awesome pineapple ginger ale. Check that out:

That's pretty damn real. It definitely skews more toward the sweetness of the pineapple, but the ginger's bite is still noticeable. Definitely refreshing.

Now, the trick to eating vegan-style at Brasa is to catch those sides on vegetarian menu. There are five options on the menu...

(Cure the horns!)

I present to you, the Vegan Side Dish Spectacular at Brasa's!

Homemade Chips & Guacamole

Yellow Rice & Beans

Roasted Yams

Crispy Yuca w/Citrus & Garlic

Fried Plantains

Now, MinneSarah and I had visited Brasa once before and cashed in on the lunch special, which is any three of the sides for $8.50. This works out awesome since each person can get their own order of Yellow Rice & Beans and then you can share the other 4 sides. Unfortunately, in Brasa's world, 6:00 does not count as lunch time. Still, this had been our plan for the evening and we were not going to be denied.

So, here's the story so far:

Location: Brasa on Grand

Time Of Day: 6:00 on a Wednesday

Ambiance: Jumpin', jumpin'

Level Of Sobriety: 50/50

Meal: Shared Side Dish Spectacular

Main Ingredients: Plantains, yuca, rice, beans, yams

To The Side: Chips & guac

Beverages: Cabernet (MinneSarah), Pineapple Ginger Ale (Myself)

Menu Price: $6.50 American for the Cabernet ($4.50 American during happy hour), $2.75 American for the Ginger Ale ($1.50 American during happy hour). Keep reading for an explanation of the food prices.

Total price: $45.00 American (w/tip)

Instead of the lunch special, we were forced to deal from the sides menu. Each side could be ordered as either a small, medium or large portion. We started by splitting a medium order of the chips and guacamole ($5.75 American). They were great to snack on as we drank our dranks and waited for the rest of the sides to turn up. The chips, as mentioned, are homemade. They were big, crisp, and not-at-all oily, which was surprising. I'm not a huge guacamole fan (avocados make me feel ill), but I couldn't stop snacking on the this combo. The guacamole wasn't chunky at all, simply smooth and mild. All in all, a great way to start the meal.

 I ordered another pineapple ginger ale and MinneSarah grabbed another glass of red. Soon, we were surrounded by sides. We threw down another $5.75 American for a medium sized order of yellow rice & black beans because, frankly, you can never have enough of those. The black beans were pretty basic, but the yellow rice was great. It tasted a lot like the type of rice you get at mexican restaurants. That rice, however, is typically made with chicken stock. Somehow Brasa was able to recreate that without the chicken. Well played. This side was obviously the Beyonce of the meal.  Absolutely essential in turning a collection of food into a meal.

(Pro tip #1: Be sure to save some of the chips for scooping up rice & beans. I realize that's a poverty line dinner (Lord, how I realize it), but trust me, it forms a great base for the rest of the meal.)

The plantains come in two varieties, sweet & green. Last time we stopped by we were only able to get the sweet plantains and let me tell you, they were just too damn sweet. The sugar just didn't compliment the rest of the meal. Oddly, yet fortunately, this time we were only able to get the green plantains. We decided to split a small order at $2.95 American. These little fried treats were awesome. Nicely crispy on the outside but chewy throughout the middle. I straight up couldn't get enough of these things. If I'm going to continue with this analogy, I suppose this would be the Michelle of the sides. Sweet, harmless, yet an essential part of the meal as a whole.

We also decided to go halves on a small order of the yams (another $2.95 American), which are mashed almost past the point of recognition. I wasn't a fan of these as, much like the sweet plantains, were just a little too sweet. Admittedly, I rarely eat yams and I forget that they are inherently sweet. When I said that I didn't care for them, MinneSarah kindly reminded me that I said that last time. Those that forget history, etc... I don't know whether I feel more sorry for the yams or LaTavia Roberson & Latoya Luckett in this comparison, but I'm sorry to everyone involved. The yams were inessential and unnecessary.

(Like an idiot, I neglected to take picture of the yuca flocka fries.  They were only the best part of the meal.  Fuck me.)

We did luck out during happy hour and catch the crispy yuca at happy hour prices ($2.00 American for an individual serving). I'm likely to lapse into hyperbole describing these awesome little guys. They have the texture and taste of the thickest, most delicious french fries you've ever had. Perfectly balancing softness and chewy I highly, highly recommend them. They're the Kelly Rowland of the meal: More talented than they get credit for and certainly sexier than that fat ass rice & beans. And yet, not really able to stand on their own as a meal.

Now, that's pretty much the whole meal, but I'll be damned if I let you click away from this page without dropping Pro Tip #2 on you.

Pro Tip #2: Brasa's Hot Pepper Vinegar! Oh shit! This little dandy makes every part of the meal (sans those sweet yams) better. Believe me, I was skeptical too, but it really is fantastic. It has a perfectly sour, lime type of flavor too it. It is crucial to add a splash of it to the rice & beans, yuca, and plantains. Since this meal has so many diverse options, adding a bit of this stuff kind of brings it all back home. This is definitely the Jay-Z cameo of the meal. All I need in this life of sin is me and my vinegar...

Alright, that was the meal. Now let's break this thing down:

Flavor: 8/1- Just about everything was crispy where it was supposed to be crispy and soft where it was supposed to be soft. With the exception of the yams, none of the dishes had an overpowering flavor.

Filling: 10/10 – You wouldn't think a meal built out of side dishes could be so filling, yet here we are.Sweet lord, I could barely walk after finishing this meal. Much like the way I could barely walk after seeing the 'Bootylicious' video for the the first time. Err... kind of.

Price: 7/10 - $45 American with the tip is awfully steep. However, if you cut out the wine, it shakes out to about $35. Take out the soda and yams and you're down to $30 American, split in half. Is what's remaining worth $15 American? Absolutely.

Ambiance: 8/10 – Like you saw above, the place was awfully packed. A restaurant full of patrons and spinning chickens has the potential to get awfully hot in a hurry, but screening off and opening up the big garage doors on the side of the building was a clutch move. The rest of the building had the style of some type of gourmet Chipotle, built mostly of steel & wood with some perplexing art on the wall. I mean that as a compliment.

Service: 9/10 – MinneSarah and I dealt with a very-pregnant server called Meg. At least, she looked pregnant. It may have been a very high quality fake pregnancy belly she wears to try to get bigger tips. Admittedly, that seems unlikely. Anyway, she was really a sweetheart as we stumbled through the sides menu trying to figure out the right sizes for our meal.

We also dealt briefly with a busser who shared a remarkable resemblance to Alex James. Based on his desire to remove our dishes, I suspect he may share both a hairstyle and taste in, umm... 'hobbies' with Mr. James.

If This Meal Was An All Girl R 'n' B Group From The 90's It Would Be: TLC. I kid, I kid. Obviously, Destiny's Child. Best of the best.

How Many Times Would I Eat This Meal Per Month If I Could Afford To: 4. For the record, though, I'd want to eat it about a dozen times per month, but it's just too damn filling. I mean, check out what I went home with.

Overall Score: 9/10 – Great food, nice atmosphere, not terribly priced. To be completely honest, I'm not sure why I'm not giving it a ten. I think it's because I've never given a 10 before and, frankly, Brasa, I like you, you're handsome, stylish, & delicious, but I think I'm saving that 10 for someone I really love. I hope you understand.

Mike Augustynak was not at Brasa. This time.

Thanks, TCDroogsma.  That was barely coherent.  If you want more TCDroogsma he can be found on Twitter (@TCDroogsma), on Instagram as TCDroogsma and he, for some reason, maintains his own blog called Caffeine & Obscenities.

Of course, this blog is still on Twitter (@NewestIndustry1) and Facebook here.  If you're a fan of our writers comparing meals to R 'n' B groups, stop by and give us a 'like.'