Ten & Six With Mike Otto: Week 10 Picks!

I heard, "Son, do you know what I'm stopping you for?"

Well hello again, football fans!  Welcome to Ten & Six With Mike Otto!

As you're well aware, things are flipped upside down this week with the Vikings playing (and winning) on Thursday Night Football.  Mikey stopped by Thursday to give us his full breakdown of that game.

It's been an adventurous weekend since then, but that's all for next week's column.  Today's column is picks, picks, and more picks!  I haven't seen this many picks since Mark Sanchez's last start!  Be sure to tip your waitresses.

Mikey, take it away...

Well, well, well! The Vikings won a game on American soil for the first time this year.

I'm going to wait to do most of my recap from that game until next week, but a couple quick points and moments I really enjoyed.

My favorite moment from the game came in the 4th quarter. It occurred on Adrian Petersons 15 yard run when he broke about 8 tackles including one from hard-hitting safety Brandon Meriweather. Meriweather sized up AP for one of his signature helmet-to-helmet hits, only to bounce of Adrian's chest/face area and fall harmlessly to the ground. AP looked like a man among boys out there.

Also, very nice to see Kevin Williams tally his first multi sack game since 2009 and to see Cordarrelle Patterson snag his 1st career receiving TD. Kudos to both.

Right now I'm going to jump into some league picks. Last week my picks went 9-4 for the second consecutive week, not too shabby. Lets get into it.

Philadelphia (4-5) at Green Bay (5-3)

Nick Foles may finally get to move out of his parents basement after that 7 TD performance. That was impressive and the Eagles won't need to play defense if Foles is going to do that week to week.

The Packers may be in a wee bit of trouble. The Golden Boy has a broken left collar bone and looks to miss 4-6 weeks. As collar bones go, I would think it will be closer to the 6 than the 4. You will not get any sympathy from a guy wearing purple and gold. Not to mention my favorite teams defense is in shambles and The Purple has started three different quarterbacks this year. Somebody call the WAHmbulance for the dirty cheesers.

The real question is, who finishes with a better record, the Vikings or Packers? Eagles win in Lambeau 27-13. Felt good to write that and actually believe it.

Jacksonville (0-8) at Tennessee (4-4) 

The Jags have a chance in this one. SYKE! Word is when Blaine Gabbert lines up under center he says BLUE 42, READY, SET, SYKE! Appropriate.

The Jake Locker is back, which means he is probably 2 or 3 weeks from his next injury. Munchak is getting the most of a tough situation this year for his squad and they will keep rolling this week. Titans grab the "W" 26-16.

Buffalo (3-6) at Pittsburgh (2-6)

EJ Manuel will be back in the starting lineup this week, putting an end to the comical Jeff Teul/Thad Lewis/Matt Flynn shitshow I have enjoyed so much in recent weeks. Hey Marrone, put down that cheeseburger and answer me a question! Can't you make Thad Lewis run the wildcat or something? I am going to miss him playing. For some reason I don't think he is going to miss playing.

The Steelers defense is so old the pink Gatorade is actually Pepto Bismol. The Steelers defense is so old they don't have a stationary bike they just have stationery to write their grandchildren. The old man Steelers get a win in this one 23-20.

Oakland (3-5) at New York Giants (2-6)

Terrelle Pryor has a little swerve to him. Albeit not a JaMarcus Russell level of swerve, but that's probably a good thing. If you made me pick either Eli Manning or Terrelle Pryor for the next 7 years I'd actually have something to think about. Isn't that fucking crazy? If I said that at the beginning of the year I would have looked like a crackpot. Not that I'm not a crackpot, I can't help it, I just really love crack and pot. Me and the mayor of Toronto would get along. Raiders win 17-10.

St. Louis (3-6) at Indianapolis (6-2)

The Colts will make the playoffs and, if Andrew Luck can figure out his occasional inconsistencies, they could do some damage. One thing I know for sure, Luck will hoist the Lombardi Trophy at some point in his career. Outside of the complete hack that is Jim Irsay, I really like the Colts. Their games are always entertaining and I think they destroy the Rams this week, 38-20.

Seattle (8-1) at Atlanta (2-6)

Two birds whose seasons have headed in two completely different directions. At the beginning of the year this bird battle looked like a marquee match up. Now it just looks like another lop-sided shit game in a meadow of shit flowers (Shout out to Lahey for the shit talk). 

Percy Harvin won't play this week, but we all know he's waiting for Week 11 anyway so that's no surprise. The dirty birds will make this closer than it should be but ultimately fall. Seahawks win 21-20.

Cincinnati (6-3) at  Baltimore (3-5) 

If Joe Flacco is elite I'm a fucking ballerina. Honestly, I see no difference in talent between Flacco and The Red Menace, Andy Dalton. Flacco is an Andy Dalton with slightly more skin pigment and a shittier top WR. You get hot/ lucky at the right time and next thing you know you're the highest paid QB in the NFL. Take note, Thad Lewis!

Just kidding Thad, you suck worse than my first girlfriend. HA! Take that bitch. Bengals win 19-16.

Detroit (5-3) at Chicago (5-3)

This is a great chance for the Lions to take control of the NFC North and I'd love to say I have complete confidence in them, but it's the Lions, so I can't. They are the healthiest team in the division by far, but I also think they have the stupidest coach. In a division with Mike McCarthy, that's not an easy honor to win. The Lions are going to make this closer than it needs to be, but they pull it out in the end, 28-26.

Carolina (5-3) at San Francisco (6-2)

This is the biggest game of Cam Newton's young career. Winning in San Francisco against Colin Kaepernick and the staunch Niners defense would be quite a feather in his cap and do a lot for the Panthers playoff hopes. The Panthers defense is good. Good enough to counter the complete stupidity of head coach Ron Rivera. One thing I know for sure is the Panthers will never win a Super bowl with Ron Rivera as the captain of this ship. Carolina wins 30-27

Houston (4-4) at Arizona (2-6)

Two teams who seem destined for perpetual mediocrity. Who wants to bet Carson Palmer will be the Texans starting quarterback next year? Sounds about right doesn't it? I could also see him coming to the Vikings, at which point I reserve the right to stop writing this column immediately, out of protest.

Cards are a decent team, just not quite good enough to factor in the grand scheme of things. They are good enough to dispatch the Texans this week, 24-20. 

Denver (7-1) at San Diego (4-4)

Fall down, Phillip Rivers! And the swoon begins! That overtime loss to Washington last week is all it will take to completely derail the Chargers season and their once feasible playoff hopes. Antonio Gates looks more like Jermaine Wiggins every year. Phillip Rivers looks more like Kerry Collins every year. Not a great recipe for success. You can't build a Super Bowl contender on Weeble Wobbles and John Fassel's dream QB. Broncos roll 35-24.

Dallas (5-4) at New Orleans (6-2)

The Saints somehow found a way to lose to the fucking Jets, keeping them relevant and ruining my week in the process. The Cowboys would have lost last week to most other NFL teams, but escaped with a victory due to a completely inept Vikings coaching staff & defense.

The Saints are sure to be pissed, while the Cowboys will undoubtedly be there usual complacent selves. That, coupled with the fact Brees is going to shred their secondary, will lead to a Cowboys loss. Saints win easy in the Big Easy 30-20. 

Miami (4-4) at Tampa Bay (0-8)

It's the battle for Florida! And in the battle for Florida, the only real winners are people like George Zimmerman and Casey Anthony...and maybe Darrelle Revis.

This game challenges that Vikings-Giants Monday night game for most uninteresting prime time match up of the world. Tampa is nothing but a bunch of retirees and strip clubs...maybe that's where I'll retire. 'Phins win! 'Phins win! 23-20

There you have it, football fans!  Week 10 kicked off with a Vikings victory and wraps up with a Dolphins victory.  Exciting time to be a football fan, right?  Right?  Eh...

For more Mike Otto be sure to give him a follow on Twitter (@SwervinTaters).  He can also be found right here on Newest Industry contributing to our Trendsetting column.

For more Newest Industry be sure to give us a follow on Twitter (@NewestIndustry1) to stay up on the work being done by all of our contributors.  More importantly, we have a Facebook page here.  Trivial as it seems, stopping by and giving us a "Like" is a free & legitimate way to support the blog.     
 

Ten & Six With Mike Otto - Week 7: Minnesota Vikings at New York Giants (Plus Picks!)

You ain't a beauty, but hey, you're alright...

Well hello again, football fans!  Welcome to Week 7 of Ten & Six!

The Vikings are heading out to the swamps of New Jersey to face the New York Giants in prime time Monday night.  The game doubles as the debut of their shiny, new... er... slightly-used quarterback Josh Freeman.

Before we get into that, however, we're going to have to have a look back at last Sunday's loss to the Carolina Panthers at the Metrodome.  You don't want to do it, we don't want to do it, hell, Mikey really doesn't want to do it, but, for better or worse, this is what you sign up for as a Vikings fan.

For the record, Mikey was forced to pen his post Monday & Tuesday this week.  Mikey, what do ya think?

Yikes. That was embarrassing. That's the type of game that gets people fired, not to mention generally shamed in the eye of the public.

I have no doubt Leslie Frazier and his coaching staff will be leading the team in New York on Monday, but if the team puts out anymore stinkers like that one, Frazier, Musgrave, and Alan Williams won't be finishing the year. They won't part ways with this coaching staff until Josh Freeman gets a look, that something I'm fairly certain of as well.

You can't deny the Vikings got completely out played at home by a very inconsistent team, but it goes deeper than the players failing to execute a game plan properly. They never had a chance. Ron Rivera out-schemed the Vikings coaching staff. RON FUCKING RIVERA! There were blitzes with nobody to pick them up, Cassel got creamed. There were WR's running routes that specifically exposed the Vikings coverages, yet there were no adjustments made. You still had a chance to go in at halftime, make some changes, come out, and make a game of it. Instead, nothing changed and the team was losing by 31 until the final minutes of the game. The Vikings got out-schemed, out-coached, and out-played. It was a pathetic effort that makes me think it might be time for some bigger changes come seasons end.

We've been here before as Vikings fans, remember 2010? That was the year our quarterback sent a text of his little crooked dick to Jenn Sterger and the roof of our stadium collapsed. We had to play a home game in TCF Bank Stadium and another in Detroit. Never forget: It could be worse. It could always be worse.

A stat that I find very telling, Leslie Frazier is 0-3 coming out of a bye week and his teams have been out-scored 108-30 in those 3 games. That's the sign of a coach who can't focus and motivate his guys. The problem is I don't think Leslie currently has the credibility amongst his players to call anyone out. He can't call the O-Line out an tell them to block better because he isn't doing his job and ensuring they are put in a place to succeed.

That game was an embarrassment, a top to bottom failure, but what can you do? We bought our tickets, time to enjoy the ride. Much more on what went wrong with The Purple later, but right now a little comedic relief as we take a look at the failure that went on around the rest of league and look ahead to the failures that will be.

My picks went a pretty standard 10-5 last week and stand at 56-36 for the year. Blah. Let's get them better.

Tampa Bay (0-5) at Atlanta (1-4)

If the Dirty Birds can't get healthy against this Bucs team, it might be time to start calling all the best doctors that Germany has to offer, because your team is seriously diseased. Everyone knows German doctors are the best in the world. They give it to you straight, and they aren't afraid to pull the plug when it's needed. Right now my hand is on the Falcons plug, lose this one and I'm yanking it. Flat line. Falcons win a close one 20-16

Dallas (3-3) at Philadelphia (3-3)

Ohhh what's this? Little Chippy Kelly has a decision to make!

I'm interested to see, what is his take? These are the choices, a career can make! A little quarterback controversy in Philly for Chippy? A wrong move could be kind of trippy? Does he go with Nick Foles who stokes the coals? Or does he pick a Mike Vick who looks mighty quick? In this pick I might sound like a Doctor named Seuss, but if Chip chooses wrong he tightens his noose. Hmmmm what to do what to do young Chippy, for you I hope your choice isn't dippy. 

The 'Boys travel east to play on the coast, with the winner allowed an NFC boast. If Vick plays and chokes his job could be toast, enough with this rhyming, back to the jokes. 'Boys win 31-28

New England (5-1) at New York Jets (3-3)

Thank Christ the Jets lost. Things are making a little more sense than they were last week before they choked a game away to the winless, hapless Steelers. Imagine a world where the Jets were 4-2? No way right? Thank you Pittsburgh, for not sucking just enough.

Tom Brady did nothing but Tom Brady things last week. 70 yard TD drive in 1 minute 8 seconds, no big deal. Captain America is never out of a game. As long as there are still ticks on that clock and he has the ball, annnythingg is posssssibllllle!!! Love you KG. Pats win 27-23

Buffalo (2-4) at Miami (3-2)

This one could go either way. The Dolphins are not nearly as good as their 3 wins through 5 games suggests, their offense and defense are both well into the bottom half of the league statistically. Working in their favor, is their opponent this week. 

It's Thad Lewis or Matt Flynn or Jeff Teul and the Buffalo Bills! Who the frig cares which one of those stiffs is the quarterback, it doesn't matter! They are all just absolutely awful at throwing a football. Dolphins won't lose this one at home. 20-17.

San Diego (3-3) at Jacksonville (0-6)

I know, this is going to surprise anyone who reads this, but I think the Jaguars can win this game. It might be their last chance to do so this year. Phillip Rivers has a history of under-performing against bad teams, to go along with a history of shitty play on the road. The Chargers are incredibly inconsistent as a team. You really have no idea which squad is going to show up on Sundays. Coming off a "moral victory" against the Broncos, the Jags might look at this Chargers team and say, "fuck it, why not". I agree Jags, why not? JAGS WIN 23-21 GO GABBERT GO!

St. Louis (3-3) at Carolina (2-3)

You are both terrible. I don't know what that makes my team.

These are two teams that can play a good game on a particular week, turn around and lay an egg the next. Bradford vs. Newton I give the slight edge to Killa Cam, if only because he's got the swag and doesn't wear horizontal striped American Apparel sweaters. He also looks like an athlete, while Sam Bradford looks like a grown man-child with nothing but vacant space behind he eyeballs. Space for rent! Quarterback for sale! Somebody please buy him, I'll trade him for a ham sammich and a Brody Croyle, I SWEARS. Panthers win 26-14.

Cincinnati (4-2) at Detroit (4-2)

This should be a good one. It makes me think, who would win a real life big-cat fight, a bengal tiger or the king of the jungle?

Now the Lion has the obvious size advantage, but a lot of those male lions spend there days napping in the shade, all their meals brought to them by the females of the pack. (Lions really have it figured out don't they?) While the bengal tiger has to fight for every scrap of food he gets, not to mention he lives close to people with guns who want to eat him/use him for a rug/magic potion etc.

One thing I do know for sure, Reggie Bush would sprain his ankle running from either one of them. I like this Lions club, and I think they get the quality "W" against the Bengals, 31-20.

San Francisco (4-2) at Tennessee (3-3)

The Niners travel across the country to Tennessee to try to keep the mojo rolling. Gold Coast Harbaugh is successfully coaching Colin Kaepernick through a mini sophomore slump and keeping his team in the "W" column in the process. Not easy to do. You have to wonder how long Frank Gore can keep up with the increased workload. Leaning on Vernon Davis is always smart, a good tight end can be a struggling QB's best friend, and the Niners did so last week. This one is going to be close, but I'm envisioning a tough win for the Niners, 23-21.

Houston (2-4) at Kansas City (6-0)

Last week in Houston the fans cheered Matt Schaub's injury. If you will recall last year, the Chiefs fans cheered Matt Cassell's concussion. Acting accordingly, I am dubbing this contest "The Clash Of The Classy Fan-Bases". Who will win? Who can throw the most batteries at the opposing teams QB?

Now, It's just shocking to me that fans from the great states of Missouri and Texas have issues with keeping things classy. I never saw that one coming. Everything is dumber in Texas. You'd be angry if you lived in Missouri too. Chiefs win 27-13.

Baltimore (3-3) at Pittsburgh (1-4)

This contest doesn't mean as much as it did in past years. The Steelers are old and terrible, they couldn't force a turnover in a French bakery. The Ravens seem inconsistent, they may struggle to get a wild card birth. The only thing keeping either of these teams exciting, is the occasional Bryant McKinnie sex party. Now, McKinnie is obviously 350 pounds of sexy left tackle, so who can blame the guy for an occasional dalliance into the world of frothin' and foamin'. Excuse me while I spend the rest of this blog trying to rid myself of the mental image of a frothy and foamy Bryant Mckinnie. Ravens win 22-17.

Cleveland (3-3) at Green Bay (3-2)

Sigh. The Packers just find ways to win. No Clay Matthews? AJ Hawk suddenly finds a pulse for the first time since Ohio State. Still, fuck a Buckeye. Randall Cobb is now out for 6 weeks, but I don't think that matters either. It just means he will be returning for the December playoff run. Aaron Rodgers could win games throwing passes to the Tartan Titans WR's and let me tell you, that's a sad bunch.

Another sad bunch? The Brandon Weeden led Cleveland Browns. The Weed-Whacker can't seem to get it done, in crunch time, he wilts. Bleh. Packers win 27-20.

Denver (6-0) at Indianapolis (4-2)

I love when franchise QB's return to play the team that they achieved said "franchise status" with. This one smells like a shootout to me. Man it would be fun to be at this game watching The Master himself, Peyton Manning, facing of against The Young Neck Beard, Andrew Luck. Will the student become the master? Will the master dominate his old castle? Will Reggie Wayne get confused and catch a touchdown pass from Peyton? He is getting old. Broncos win, 31-30.

On to the very sad main event!

MINNESOTA VIKINGS (1-4) at NEW YORK GIANTS (0-6)

The big question is who will be the quarterback for your Minnesota Vikings come Monday night? Due to time constraints, I am writing this on Tuesday and as we know, Leslie Frazier doesn't divulge information in the first half of the week, if he does at all.

So I'm operating on nothing but a gut feeling, but I think Josh freeman makes his debut against the Giants for two reasons:

1.) Leslie Frazier did say he "had to talk to Josh about how he's feeling...where he's at etc.". I don't think Freeman is the kind of guy to say he's not ready when asked if he wants to start.

2.) This coaching staff is desperate and the pressure is on to show something. ANYTHING!

Not to mention the Vikings are playing a winless stinker of a team in the Giants, who have only 5 sacks as a team on the year. That's pathetic. Lack of pressure = recipe for a quarterbacks success.

Let's not forget, Freeman will have an extra day of playbook cramming what with this being a Monday night contest. All the tea leaves point to Josh Freeman starting. So sue me if I'm wrong. Let's look at some positives and negatives from last weeks game. As always, the positives first.

Positives:

-No QB Controversy Here  Last week I lamented that the Vikings would have quite the conundrum on their hands if Cassel played well and the team kept winning. So much for that. Matt Cassel reminded us all that he is indeed Matt Cassel. He sucked and so did the team. Bring on Freeman!

-Jeff Locke  Had his best game yet, averaging nearly 50 yards a punt with good hang time. He also got a lot of work. That leg was pretty loose all afternoon. Fuck. Even the positives seem like negatives.

Hey, speaking of negatives...

Negatives:

-Josh Robinson   This guy has been getting burned repeatedly. Week after week, opposing quarterbacks have been picking on him and finding consistent success in doing so. The entire secondary has been below average, but Robinson has been particularly terrible. I like the guy and I want him to succeed, but Christ, this shit is ugly.

-The Defensive Ends  The Panthers ran up the middle 5 times for 0 yards. They ran to the right and left 26 times for 131 yards. That means our ends are not keeping containment on run plays. They are trying for sacks every down with no regard for the situation. Pretty sad stuff.

-The Linebackers  Outside of Greenway, the Vikings have nothing. Erin Henderson is often overpowered, late to the play, or in the wrong gap. Marvin Mitchell is nothing special. Desmond Bishop's career might be over with a torn ACL. The Front 7 looks overmatched week after week. Diseased.

Three Keys To A Vikings Victory:

Key #1: Get A Turnover Off Eli Manning Early

The dude is fucking up big time this year. He leads the league with 15 interceptions and has consistently looked panicked and lost in the pocket. Get a fumble or INT off him early and it could be a snowball effect for the rest of the game. Eli is already down on himself, let's keep him that way.

Key #2: Protect The Quarterback

Regardless of who it is, the offensive line needs to keep him upright. The Giants only have 5 sacks as a team, easily the fewest in the league. The Vikings O-Line has been wretched so far this year. They have enjoyed decent moments in individual games, but the overall season's work has been bad. Don't let this defensive line get healthy against us.

Key #3: Score Points

As Leslie Frazier aptly pointed out in his Monday press conference, "Points are a big deal...points are important to your success...you can't be a good football team without them...". Touché Leslie Frazier, touché. That's John Madden level insight. I have this gut feeling that if the Vikings score the most points on Monday, they will win the game.

Two Matchups To Watch:

Matchup #1: Eli Manning vs. The Vikings Terrible Secondary

It's looking like Harrison Smith will miss this game with "turf toe", leaving the Vikings with absolutely nobody with a pulse in the defensive backfield. The team is working out and may sign free agent safety Joe Lefeged, who was arrested in the offseason on weapons charges. Yay.

Eli is diseased. So is the Vikings secondary. Something's got to give.

Matchup #2: Bill Musgrave vs. Conventional Wisdom

 

His offensive game plan left a lot to be desired against the Panthers. I want to see some interesting wrinkles in the offense. Why not try running out of 3 or 4 wide sets? Spread out the defense so they can't stack the box, then hand it to AP. Play action and go deep! Run a reverse with Cordarrelle Patterson. We used to run reverses with Bernard Berrian for gods sake! Who am I kidding, nothing is going to change.

Mike's All-Purpose Flour Lock Of The Week:

Kyle Rudolph, Tight End, YOUR Minnesota Vikings

This will be Josh Freeman's first start as a Viking.  New team, new scheme, the swirling winds of new Meadowlands Stadium... don't be surprised if Kyle Rudolph quickly becomes Freeman's safety net.  6 catches/90 yards/1 TD.

Final Takes

Eli Manning is suffering through a season long slump. Lucky for him he gets just what the doctor ordered in the form of the 31st ranked pass defense! Christ, there is somebody worse than the Vikings? Wow, I'm not even mad, that's impressive.

Josh Freeman or Matt Cassell, I don't think it really matters because Musgrave is still going to be calling the plays from that goddamn kiddie-sized play sheet. It's not even big enough to cover half of his fat face.

Manning gets healthy against the Vikings porous secondary and the Giants get their first win of the year.

Final Score
Minnesota Vikings: 20
New York Giants: 31

And the season long swoon continues. Until next week Vikings fans. In the words of Mike Tice, don't forget to "enjoy the season."

Well there you have it, football fans!  The Vikings head to New Jersey & leave defeated, making them the first people to ever feel worse leaving New Jersey than when they arrived.

For more Mike Otto be sure to give him a follow on Twitter (@SwervinTaters).  The line between sad & entertaining runs awfully thin on a Monday night.  He can also be found right here on Newest Industry contributing to our Trendsetting column.

For more Newest Industry be sure to give us a follow on Twitter (@NewestIndustry1) to stay up on the work being done by all of our contributors.  More importantly, we have a Facebook page here.  Trivial as it seems, stopping by and giving us a "Like" is a free & legitimate way to support the blog.  

Ten & Six With Mike Otto - Week 6: Carolina Panthers at Minnesota Vikings (Plus Picks!)

I'm working, but I'm not working for you...

Well hello again, Vikings fans!  Welcome back to Ten & Six With Mike Otto!

Week 6 is up us as the Vikings try to build off the momentum of their Week 4 win in London.  Just because the Vikings didn't play last week doesn't mean it hasn't been a busy week in the land of snow & purple rain.  Off the field the Vikings made two moves signing quarterback Josh Freeman for the rest of the season and giving DE Brian Robison a four year extension.

Sadly the Vikings family was struck by tragedy when it was revealed that Adrian Peterson's son had died due to injuries suffered from an assault.  While Mike wrote this week's column before the news of this tragedy, you can be certain that our hearts go out to AP and his family.

With heavy hearts we press on.  Killa Cam & the Carolina Panthers are in town as the Vikes look to get back in the NFC North race.

Mikey, it's been an adventurous couple of weeks.  What do you think?

My nightmare has been realized.

I've spent much of the last 1 &1/2 years trashing Josh Freeman as an over-rated, inconsistent, below-average NFL quarterback. To be more specific, I have called him the NFL quarterback equivalent of a burning Ford Pinto on the side of the Florida turnpike at least 3 or 4 times.

I stated only weeks ago that my greatest fear was seeing Josh Freeman suit up in purple next year and, while this is only a 12 game audition at this point, that future seems inevitable. Now, on the bright side, he has a rocket arm and his name isn't Christian Ponder. Those are 2 undeniable positives of this signing.

As a Vikings fan, I only know how to approach a signing like this one way: with extreme skepticism, doubt, and fear. The thought in the back of my head that, even in a best-case scenario, Josh Freeman figures it out and leads us through a deep playoff run only to choke in some new, heartbreaking way when it counts most. Worst case scenario, Josh Freeman performs just good enough to earn a healthy three year contract extension at the end of this year, so Spielman and Frazier can hide the Ponder draft pick blunder and save their jobs for at least one more year. Freeman then returns to his wildly inconsistent self and we waste two more years of Adrian Peterson. 

Don't get me wrong, this signing was a smart football move. Why not see what he can do on this team? I just don't trust Josh Freeman. Maybe he can change my mind. Time will tell. 

Lets jump into the picks. My picks went 9-5 last week and stand at 46-31 for the year. Room for improvement. Lets do it!

Green Bay (2-2) at Baltimore (3-2) 

Flacco vs. Rodgers! Rodgers vs. Hammerstein! Oh what a beautiful day! Huh? What?

The faithful Cheesers will make a pilgrimage to Baltimore in order to root their favorite group of pukes to a hopeful victory against last years Super Bowl champs. I, on the other hand, watch the news for word of a hopeful stabbing of a guy in a cheese hat in downtown Baltimore. No vital organs, mind you, just a flesh wound.

Bryant McKinnie, I'm counting on you to protect Flacco's blind side. I ask for so little, just do me this favor. Ravens win 23-20.

Cincinnati (3-2) at Buffalo (2-3)

EJ Manuel you got away with one. Run out of bounds next time. Bills fans, I'm rooting for you, and I'm not here to insult your intelligence or your integrity, not that you'd have much to insult. It's hard not to be dumb when you're forced to root for a schlub like Doug Marrone. I mean his first name might as well be Schlub. In fact, from now on it is. I guess its the week of nicknames. Schlub Marrone, Thad Lewis and th-...wait a minute, for real? Thad Lewis? Diseased. Schlub Marrone, Thad Lewis and the rest of the Bills get dismantled 26-3.

Detroit (3-2) at Cleveland (3-2)

Going with the theme of nicknames it's the return of the weed-whacker himself, Brandon Weeden! Also, learn how to slide without tearing your ACL, Brian Hoyer. Ever heard of Jason Campbell? Yah, that's your future now, best-case scenario. Look on the bright side, buddy. Makin' stacks just to hold a clipboard. Not too shabby, bud. Seriously though, get Nick Punto's number and have him teach you how the fuck to slide. That shit was ugly and it cost you a shot at your dream. Enter substance abuse issues. Lions win 24-17.

St. Louis (2-3) at Houston (2-3)

The Rams suck. It seems like they might always suck. Yes, to me, repeated mediocrity means you suck. 

Speaking of that, it's Matt Schaub! Matt Schaub is quickly going the way of Vinny Testaverde. Good but not great and never going to win anything of substance, with less hair and a dumb name. At least Vinny Testicles had some swag to his name.

Is Andre Johnson still alive? Regardless, JJ Watt is enough to win this game by himself. Texans win 27-20.

Oakland (2-3) at Kansas City (5-0)

T-Pry looks like he might actually be a thing. Can't quite tell if NFL defenses have yet to adjust to his goofy, stupid way of quarterbacking or if he actually has stumbled across an effective style.

I'm happy for Alex Smith and the Chiefs, they are playing great and are a force in the NFL. Let's not forget, we are still less than a year removed from a Chiefs player committing suicide in the parking lot of their practice facility. That has to be an all time low for the franchise. Yet here they sit at 5-0 and Alex Smith has yet to throw a pick. Good stuff. Chiefs win 20-16.

Pittsburgh (0-4) at New York Jets (3-2)

Does God hate me? How in the flying fuck are the Jets 3-2 with a very real chance to be 4-2 after this weekend? Rex Ryan is like a fucking cockroach. I'm starting to wonder if a nuclear winter could even kill him off. The worst part is this roach doesn't scatter with the rest when the lights turn on, he stands up and starts flapping his roach gums, growing stronger with each tired roach cliché. Fuck it, Jets win 23-20. (Cue "Fireman" Ed crawling back in 3-2-1....)

Philadelphia (2-3) at Tampa Bay (0-4)

Who the fuck is the Bucs starting QB? Mike Glennon? Christ. I guess it could always be worse. I wouldn't trust a "Mike Glennon" to drive a U-Haul much less lead an NFL offense. If I walked into the doctors office and they said, "Dr. Glennon will see you shortly", I'd walk out and ask a homeless man to give me a physical. Mike Glennon walks into a room and throws a completion (insert rim shot here). Eagles win 34-23.

Jacksonville (0-5) at Denver (5-0)

This year's Sportsmanship Award goes to Peyton Manning, who said this week, with a straight face mind you, that the Jaguars were a "good football team." Riiiiight. And Blaine Gabbert is only 7 neck surgeries away from being as good as you.

The Jaguars obviously have only one goal this season and that is to completely destroy Blaine Gabbert as a human being. If he has even an ounce of confidence left in his body at the end of this year it will be a small miracle. Don't be surprised if the Jags lose by 30. Broncos win 48-10.

Tennessee (3-2) at Seattle (4-1)

Mike Munchak Football can't save the Titans now. Unfortunately for him, Ryan Fitzpatrick Football overpowers everyone else's talent, intelligence and ability. It always has and it always will. The Seahawks played a great game last week but Andrew Luck was just too much. Some home cooking will cure what ails them. Hawks win 24-21.

New Orleans (5-0) at New England (4-1)

Return of Gronk! Gronk Watch comes to an end! The Gronk Arm is healed! Just in time for the Pats, who only managed 6 points last week in a game where nobody could get open. I've been reading Gronk's book "Growing Up Gronk" and it's been a truly enlightening experience for me. In chapter 6 Gronk reveals he wasn't allowed in the petting zoo as a child because of numerous unfortunate "bunnies with broken necks" incidents. Typical. Saints are the best team in the NFC and they win this one 31-23.

Arizona (3-2) at San Francisco (3-2)

Colin Kaepernick has been struggling through the air but it doesn't matter. Gold Coast Harbaugh knows there's more than one way to skin a cat, piss off a Shwartz, or win a game. He don't need no stinkin' passing game!

The Cards on the other hand, desperately need a passing game. They've been in constant pursuit of one ever since Kurt Warner hung up the cleats. They don't find one this week and they may never again. Niners win 23-20.

Washington (1-3) at Dallas (2-3)

That was a typical Cowboys loss last week. Romo plays out of his mind, they put up 48 points, only to throw an untimely final minute INT deep in their own territory, just giving the Broncos the game winning field goal. It sums up Romo's career doesn't it? So good, but just not quite good enough. Ouch. At least you'll always have the mid-nineties. Thems were good times. 'Boys bounce back with a "W" 21-17.

Indianapolis (4-1) at San Diego (2-3) 

Andrew Luck is a stud. He will win a Super Bowl in his career, and if the right pieces get put around him, he could win a few of them. Also, he grows a mean neck beard, something Phillip Rivers could never do. 

Another thing Rivers could never do? Enjoy prosperity and consistent play. The dude is as erratic as an epileptic Big Ten football coach. Had to do it, sorry Coach Kill. But hey, at least it's coming from a fellow epileptic. I know the deal. Oh yeah...OK this just got weird. Colts win 33-27.

On to the main event!
 

CAROLINA PANTHERS (1-3) AT MINNESOTA VIKINGS (1-3)

The purple hosts Cam Newton's Carolina panthers for the 1st time in The Dome!

This will be no easy victory for our favorite team. The Panthers defense is tops in the league for yards allowed and we all know the Vikings history with dual threat quarterbacks. Before we get into how the Vikes can claim their second victory in a row, let's take a look back at some positives and negatives from their first.

As always, the positives first:

Positives:

-Matt Cassel  He proved that all the Vikings need for success is basic competence from our quarterback. It was nice to see him put some zip on a couple balls, and a genuine pleasure to see him and the WR's connect on a couple beautiful timing routes that led to yards after the catch.

-Jerome Felton  I don't think it's a coincidence that Adrian Peterson had his best day of the year in the game Jerome returned from suspension. Felton is good. AP has been vocal in the past of his preference to run without a lead blocker, but you don't hear any of that chatter when Felton is in front of him. I think that speaks volumes in and of itself.

Negative(s):

-The Defense:  The tackling is still leaving a lot to be desired. Once again the defense almost blew the game in the final minute. The Steelers were 6 yards away from tying that game, and anything could have happened in overtime, but they finally made a play when they really needed one. Let's hope its something they can build off of because things are still pretty damn ugly from top to bottom. The Vikings defense is ranked 30th overall right now and that just isn't good enough.

Three Keys To A Vikings Victory:

Key #1: Contain Cam Newton!

I want a LB or DE spy on him at all times. If he gets to the second level, there is no telling when he's going to stop running. The Vikings have a long history of failing to contain dual threat QB's and getting burned/losing games because of it. Vinny Testaverde, (yes, he did, w/the Bucs) Steve Young, Michael Vick, RG III... that list doesn't need a fifth name, so please, for the love of GOD, play with proper containment! 

Key #2: Continue The Precise Timing Routes In The Passing Game

Greg Jennings loves those timing routes. He ran them all the time when he played for the Packers and it's really his bread and butter. Timing routes rely upon trust between the WR and the QB, something Christian Ponder failed to gain in the first three weeks of the season but Matt Cassel found in his first start. I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin', know'm'sayin'? 

Key #3: Hang On To The Ball

The Panthers offense has been struggling this year, one sure fire way to get them out of that funk is by turning the ball over and giving them a short field to work with. Turnovers swing momentum quickly, and the Vikings need to maintain momentum throughout the game and keep the crowd in the game. Use that Dome field advantage! 

Two Matchups To Watch:

Matchup #1: Steve Smith vs. Chris Cook

All signs point to Cook returning to the field on Sunday and we all know Steve Smith's history with the Vikings secondary. Granted it was many years and teams ago when Smith torched the Vikings for 200, but also worth noting that this secondary is terrible and would be a league worst if it weren't for the bye week they enjoyed. If Steve Smith has a big game, the Vikings won't be celebrating a victory come Sunday night.

Matchup #2: Luke Kuechly vs. Matt Cassel

Kuechly is arguably the best linebacker in the NFL and he has 2 INT's on the year already. He is crafty, he can hide behind his line and sit in a middle zone just waiting for a QB to make a mistake, or he can play man-to-man with the most athletic tight ends in the game. Truly a young sideline-to-sideline defender that Matt Cassel always needs to be aware of, whether on the blitz, or in coverage. 

Mike's All-Purpose Flour Lock Of The Week:

Jerome Simpson, Wide Receiver, YOUR Minnesota Vikings

Jerome is off to the best start of his professional career this year. He's healthy, he's fast, and he's hungry for more. 5 catches/100 yards/1 TD. 

Final Takes

It certainly seems like, barring injury, Christian Ponder has started his last game as a Viking. I wish I could say it was always a fun ride, but it wasn't. In fact, it was only fun about 30% of the time. That was always the problem, his wild inconsistency. Had he started all 16 games this year, I'm sure he would have had 4 or 5 "good" games. Hell, even Kelly Holcomb had a couple "good" games.

Yes, the Josh Freeman signing officially puts the nail in Ponder's preverbal coffin. What I want to know is, what do the Vikings do with Freeman if Matt Cassel keeps winning? You can't rightly pull Cassel in the middle of a winning streak, destroying team chemistry just to get a look at the aforementioned burning Ford Pinto currently on the shoulder of 94 West, can you?

At the same time, you aren't paying him two million dollars to not get a look at him lead this offense. The situation seems totally convoluted to me and I honestly have no idea how this is all going to play out. All I do know is, I'm scared, I'm nervous, and I will keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.

As for the Panthers, fuck 'em. They will score some points on our defense no doubt, so our offense needs to be efficient and effective if we are to stay in this game.

Killa Cam is going to get his, but if you can keep him in the pocket, this game is easily winnable as his pocket presence is still below average at this point in his career. Make him uncomfortable in the pocket and it will be a purple Sunday.

This is going to be a grind-it-out, nerve wracking game, but hey, what Vikings contest isn't these days?

FINAL SCORE

Carolina Panthers: 26
Minnesota Vikings: 27

WOOOOOOO! Objects in your rear view mirror are closer than they appear! 

There you have it, Vikings fans!  The Vikes stay winnin' against Killa Cam & the Panthers!  You're on notice, NFC North!

For more Mike Otto be sure to give him a follow on Twitter (@SwervinTaters).  The line between sad & entertaining runs awfully thin on Sundays.  He can also be found right here on Newest Industry contributing to our Trendsetting column.

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