Well hello again, football fans! Welcome to Week 7 of Ten & Six!
The Vikings are heading out to the swamps of New Jersey to face the New York Giants in prime time Monday night. The game doubles as the debut of their shiny, new... er... slightly-used quarterback Josh Freeman.
Before we get into that, however, we're going to have to have a look back at last Sunday's loss to the Carolina Panthers at the Metrodome. You don't want to do it, we don't want to do it, hell, Mikey really doesn't want to do it, but, for better or worse, this is what you sign up for as a Vikings fan.
For the record, Mikey was forced to pen his post Monday & Tuesday this week. Mikey, what do ya think?
Yikes. That was embarrassing. That's the type of game that gets people fired, not to mention generally shamed in the eye of the public.
I have no doubt Leslie Frazier and his coaching staff will be leading the team in New York on Monday, but if the team puts out anymore stinkers like that one, Frazier, Musgrave, and Alan Williams won't be finishing the year. They won't part ways with this coaching staff until Josh Freeman gets a look, that something I'm fairly certain of as well.
You can't deny the Vikings got completely out played at home by a very inconsistent team, but it goes deeper than the players failing to execute a game plan properly. They never had a chance. Ron Rivera out-schemed the Vikings coaching staff. RON FUCKING RIVERA! There were blitzes with nobody to pick them up, Cassel got creamed. There were WR's running routes that specifically exposed the Vikings coverages, yet there were no adjustments made. You still had a chance to go in at halftime, make some changes, come out, and make a game of it. Instead, nothing changed and the team was losing by 31 until the final minutes of the game. The Vikings got out-schemed, out-coached, and out-played. It was a pathetic effort that makes me think it might be time for some bigger changes come seasons end.
We've been here before as Vikings fans, remember 2010? That was the year our quarterback sent a text of his little crooked dick to Jenn Sterger and the roof of our stadium collapsed. We had to play a home game in TCF Bank Stadium and another in Detroit. Never forget: It could be worse. It could always be worse.
A stat that I find very telling, Leslie Frazier is 0-3 coming out of a bye week and his teams have been out-scored 108-30 in those 3 games. That's the sign of a coach who can't focus and motivate his guys. The problem is I don't think Leslie currently has the credibility amongst his players to call anyone out. He can't call the O-Line out an tell them to block better because he isn't doing his job and ensuring they are put in a place to succeed.
That game was an embarrassment, a top to bottom failure, but what can you do? We bought our tickets, time to enjoy the ride. Much more on what went wrong with The Purple later, but right now a little comedic relief as we take a look at the failure that went on around the rest of league and look ahead to the failures that will be.
My picks went a pretty standard 10-5 last week and stand at 56-36 for the year. Blah. Let's get them better.
Tampa Bay (0-5) at Atlanta (1-4)
If the Dirty Birds can't get healthy against this Bucs team, it might be time to start calling all the best doctors that Germany has to offer, because your team is seriously diseased. Everyone knows German doctors are the best in the world. They give it to you straight, and they aren't afraid to pull the plug when it's needed. Right now my hand is on the Falcons plug, lose this one and I'm yanking it. Flat line. Falcons win a close one 20-16
Dallas (3-3) at Philadelphia (3-3)
Ohhh what's this? Little Chippy Kelly has a decision to make!
I'm interested to see, what is his take? These are the choices, a career can make! A little quarterback controversy in Philly for Chippy? A wrong move could be kind of trippy? Does he go with Nick Foles who stokes the coals? Or does he pick a Mike Vick who looks mighty quick? In this pick I might sound like a Doctor named Seuss, but if Chip chooses wrong he tightens his noose. Hmmmm what to do what to do young Chippy, for you I hope your choice isn't dippy.
The 'Boys travel east to play on the coast, with the winner allowed an NFC boast. If Vick plays and chokes his job could be toast, enough with this rhyming, back to the jokes. 'Boys win 31-28
New England (5-1) at New York Jets (3-3)
Thank Christ the Jets lost. Things are making a little more sense than they were last week before they choked a game away to the winless, hapless Steelers. Imagine a world where the Jets were 4-2? No way right? Thank you Pittsburgh, for not sucking just enough.
Tom Brady did nothing but Tom Brady things last week. 70 yard TD drive in 1 minute 8 seconds, no big deal. Captain America is never out of a game. As long as there are still ticks on that clock and he has the ball, annnythingg is posssssibllllle!!! Love you KG. Pats win 27-23
Buffalo (2-4) at Miami (3-2)
This one could go either way. The Dolphins are not nearly as good as their 3 wins through 5 games suggests, their offense and defense are both well into the bottom half of the league statistically. Working in their favor, is their opponent this week.
It's Thad Lewis or Matt Flynn or Jeff Teul and the Buffalo Bills! Who the frig cares which one of those stiffs is the quarterback, it doesn't matter! They are all just absolutely awful at throwing a football. Dolphins won't lose this one at home. 20-17.
San Diego (3-3) at Jacksonville (0-6)
I know, this is going to surprise anyone who reads this, but I think the Jaguars can win this game. It might be their last chance to do so this year. Phillip Rivers has a history of under-performing against bad teams, to go along with a history of shitty play on the road. The Chargers are incredibly inconsistent as a team. You really have no idea which squad is going to show up on Sundays. Coming off a "moral victory" against the Broncos, the Jags might look at this Chargers team and say, "fuck it, why not". I agree Jags, why not? JAGS WIN 23-21 GO GABBERT GO!
St. Louis (3-3) at Carolina (2-3)
You are both terrible. I don't know what that makes my team.
These are two teams that can play a good game on a particular week, turn around and lay an egg the next. Bradford vs. Newton I give the slight edge to Killa Cam, if only because he's got the swag and doesn't wear horizontal striped American Apparel sweaters. He also looks like an athlete, while Sam Bradford looks like a grown man-child with nothing but vacant space behind he eyeballs. Space for rent! Quarterback for sale! Somebody please buy him, I'll trade him for a ham sammich and a Brody Croyle, I SWEARS. Panthers win 26-14.
Cincinnati (4-2) at Detroit (4-2)
This should be a good one. It makes me think, who would win a real life big-cat fight, a bengal tiger or the king of the jungle?
Now the Lion has the obvious size advantage, but a lot of those male lions spend there days napping in the shade, all their meals brought to them by the females of the pack. (Lions really have it figured out don't they?) While the bengal tiger has to fight for every scrap of food he gets, not to mention he lives close to people with guns who want to eat him/use him for a rug/magic potion etc.
One thing I do know for sure, Reggie Bush would sprain his ankle running from either one of them. I like this Lions club, and I think they get the quality "W" against the Bengals, 31-20.
San Francisco (4-2) at Tennessee (3-3)
The Niners travel across the country to Tennessee to try to keep the mojo rolling. Gold Coast Harbaugh is successfully coaching Colin Kaepernick through a mini sophomore slump and keeping his team in the "W" column in the process. Not easy to do. You have to wonder how long Frank Gore can keep up with the increased workload. Leaning on Vernon Davis is always smart, a good tight end can be a struggling QB's best friend, and the Niners did so last week. This one is going to be close, but I'm envisioning a tough win for the Niners, 23-21.
Houston (2-4) at Kansas City (6-0)
Last week in Houston the fans cheered Matt Schaub's injury. If you will recall last year, the Chiefs fans cheered Matt Cassell's concussion. Acting accordingly, I am dubbing this contest "The Clash Of The Classy Fan-Bases". Who will win? Who can throw the most batteries at the opposing teams QB?
Now, It's just shocking to me that fans from the great states of Missouri and Texas have issues with keeping things classy. I never saw that one coming. Everything is dumber in Texas. You'd be angry if you lived in Missouri too. Chiefs win 27-13.
Baltimore (3-3) at Pittsburgh (1-4)
This contest doesn't mean as much as it did in past years. The Steelers are old and terrible, they couldn't force a turnover in a French bakery. The Ravens seem inconsistent, they may struggle to get a wild card birth. The only thing keeping either of these teams exciting, is the occasional Bryant McKinnie sex party. Now, McKinnie is obviously 350 pounds of sexy left tackle, so who can blame the guy for an occasional dalliance into the world of frothin' and foamin'. Excuse me while I spend the rest of this blog trying to rid myself of the mental image of a frothy and foamy Bryant Mckinnie. Ravens win 22-17.
Cleveland (3-3) at Green Bay (3-2)
Sigh. The Packers just find ways to win. No Clay Matthews? AJ Hawk suddenly finds a pulse for the first time since Ohio State. Still, fuck a Buckeye. Randall Cobb is now out for 6 weeks, but I don't think that matters either. It just means he will be returning for the December playoff run. Aaron Rodgers could win games throwing passes to the Tartan Titans WR's and let me tell you, that's a sad bunch.
Another sad bunch? The Brandon Weeden led Cleveland Browns. The Weed-Whacker can't seem to get it done, in crunch time, he wilts. Bleh. Packers win 27-20.
Denver (6-0) at Indianapolis (4-2)
I love when franchise QB's return to play the team that they achieved said "franchise status" with. This one smells like a shootout to me. Man it would be fun to be at this game watching The Master himself, Peyton Manning, facing of against The Young Neck Beard, Andrew Luck. Will the student become the master? Will the master dominate his old castle? Will Reggie Wayne get confused and catch a touchdown pass from Peyton? He is getting old. Broncos win, 31-30.
On to the very sad main event!
MINNESOTA VIKINGS (1-4) at NEW YORK GIANTS (0-6)
The big question is who will be the quarterback for your Minnesota Vikings come Monday night? Due to time constraints, I am writing this on Tuesday and as we know, Leslie Frazier doesn't divulge information in the first half of the week, if he does at all.
So I'm operating on nothing but a gut feeling, but I think Josh freeman makes his debut against the Giants for two reasons:
1.) Leslie Frazier did say he "had to talk to Josh about how he's feeling...where he's at etc.". I don't think Freeman is the kind of guy to say he's not ready when asked if he wants to start.
2.) This coaching staff is desperate and the pressure is on to show something. ANYTHING!
Not to mention the Vikings are playing a winless stinker of a team in the Giants, who have only 5 sacks as a team on the year. That's pathetic. Lack of pressure = recipe for a quarterbacks success.
Let's not forget, Freeman will have an extra day of playbook cramming what with this being a Monday night contest. All the tea leaves point to Josh Freeman starting. So sue me if I'm wrong. Let's look at some positives and negatives from last weeks game. As always, the positives first.
Positives:
-No QB Controversy Here Last week I lamented that the Vikings would have quite the conundrum on their hands if Cassel played well and the team kept winning. So much for that. Matt Cassel reminded us all that he is indeed Matt Cassel. He sucked and so did the team. Bring on Freeman!
-Jeff Locke Had his best game yet, averaging nearly 50 yards a punt with good hang time. He also got a lot of work. That leg was pretty loose all afternoon. Fuck. Even the positives seem like negatives.
Hey, speaking of negatives...
Negatives:
-Josh Robinson This guy has been getting burned repeatedly. Week after week, opposing quarterbacks have been picking on him and finding consistent success in doing so. The entire secondary has been below average, but Robinson has been particularly terrible. I like the guy and I want him to succeed, but Christ, this shit is ugly.
-The Defensive Ends The Panthers ran up the middle 5 times for 0 yards. They ran to the right and left 26 times for 131 yards. That means our ends are not keeping containment on run plays. They are trying for sacks every down with no regard for the situation. Pretty sad stuff.
-The Linebackers Outside of Greenway, the Vikings have nothing. Erin Henderson is often overpowered, late to the play, or in the wrong gap. Marvin Mitchell is nothing special. Desmond Bishop's career might be over with a torn ACL. The Front 7 looks overmatched week after week. Diseased.
Three Keys To A Vikings Victory:
Key #1: Get A Turnover Off Eli Manning Early
The dude is fucking up big time this year. He leads the league with 15 interceptions and has consistently looked panicked and lost in the pocket. Get a fumble or INT off him early and it could be a snowball effect for the rest of the game. Eli is already down on himself, let's keep him that way.
Key #2: Protect The Quarterback
Regardless of who it is, the offensive line needs to keep him upright. The Giants only have 5 sacks as a team, easily the fewest in the league. The Vikings O-Line has been wretched so far this year. They have enjoyed decent moments in individual games, but the overall season's work has been bad. Don't let this defensive line get healthy against us.
Key #3: Score Points
As Leslie Frazier aptly pointed out in his Monday press conference, "Points are a big deal...points are important to your success...you can't be a good football team without them...". Touché Leslie Frazier, touché. That's John Madden level insight. I have this gut feeling that if the Vikings score the most points on Monday, they will win the game.
Two Matchups To Watch:
Matchup #1: Eli Manning vs. The Vikings Terrible Secondary
It's looking like Harrison Smith will miss this game with "turf toe", leaving the Vikings with absolutely nobody with a pulse in the defensive backfield. The team is working out and may sign free agent safety Joe Lefeged, who was arrested in the offseason on weapons charges. Yay.
Eli is diseased. So is the Vikings secondary. Something's got to give.
Matchup #2: Bill Musgrave vs. Conventional Wisdom
Mike's All-Purpose Flour Lock Of The Week:
Kyle Rudolph, Tight End, YOUR Minnesota Vikings
This will be Josh Freeman's first start as a Viking. New team, new scheme, the swirling winds of new Meadowlands Stadium... don't be surprised if Kyle Rudolph quickly becomes Freeman's safety net. 6 catches/90 yards/1 TD.
Final Takes
Eli Manning is suffering through a season long slump. Lucky for him he gets just what the doctor ordered in the form of the 31st ranked pass defense! Christ, there is somebody worse than the Vikings? Wow, I'm not even mad, that's impressive.
Josh Freeman or Matt Cassell, I don't think it really matters because Musgrave is still going to be calling the plays from that goddamn kiddie-sized play sheet. It's not even big enough to cover half of his fat face.
Manning gets healthy against the Vikings porous secondary and the Giants get their first win of the year.
Final Score
Minnesota Vikings: 20
New York Giants: 31
And the season long swoon continues. Until next week Vikings fans. In the words of Mike Tice, don't forget to "enjoy the season."
Well there you have it, football fans! The Vikings head to New Jersey & leave defeated, making them the first people to ever feel worse leaving New Jersey than when they arrived.
For more Mike Otto be sure to give him a follow on Twitter (@SwervinTaters). The line between sad & entertaining runs awfully thin on a Monday night. He can also be found right here on Newest Industry contributing to our Trendsetting column.
For more Newest Industry be sure to give us a follow on Twitter (@NewestIndustry1) to stay up on the work being done by all of our contributors. More importantly, we have a Facebook page here. Trivial as it seems, stopping by and giving us a "Like" is a free & legitimate way to support the blog.
No comments:
Post a Comment