Well hello again. football fans! Welcome back to Ten & Six With Mike Otto!
But first, like we always do at this time, Mike's going to give us his picks for the rest of this week's games. Mikey, what's on tap for Week 2?
Welcome back to Ten & Six. Fittingly, my picks went 10-6 last week and I believe I absorbed the gut punch that was the Vikings game in stride.
Many things must be fixed, that is apparent. The offense looked rusty, and that is being kind. It was a troubling game in many ways, as the Vikings were handed every opportunity in the first half to put the contest out of reach & failed miserably every time. You can't allow teams to hang around and you can't lose games that you were given every chance to win.
I stand steadfast in my prediction of 11-5, but the Vikings are going to have to steal one from the Steelers in London three weeks from now to get back on track. Much more on the Purple later, lets jump right into this weeks slate of games.
San Diego (0-1) at Philadelphia (1-0)
Watching that Texans/Chargers game and the incredible, yet unsurprising, collapse/erosion of ability from Phillip Rivers and Co. on Monday was quite enjoyable. I remember thinking "Ha, what a classic Norv Turner floundering collapse! Only a guy like Norv would let this happen to a tea- wait a minute where the fuck is Norv?" Phillip Rivers, perhaps you were as much to blame as that old pock marked whore ever was.
Chippy Kelly won a game using his up-tempo college style offense. Good for little Chippy. Safest bet in the NFL? Michael Vick will miss games this year. Eagles win 31-26
Dallas (1-0) at Kansas City (1-0)
The Cowboys almost pissed away what should have been a rout handed to them by resident baby bro and family disappointment Eli Manning.
The Chiefs, on the other hand, dismantled the hapless Jags 28-2. I know it's just the Jaguars, but I was impressed by the Chiefs on both sides of the ball. They blew out a team they were supposed to and that's step one of being a playoff contender.
Step two of being a playoff contender is getting Andy Reid to lose 50 lbs before he keels over. It looked like the fuckin' Kool-Aid man was on the sideline when Reid put on that big red Chiefs jacket. For Christ's sake Andy, when is the last time you saw your penis without a series of mirrors and a fork lift? Chiefs win 23-17
Miami (1-0) at Indianapolis (1-0)
Week 1 is in the books, the Dolphins won, and Mike Wallace is already grumbling about his role. Hey moron, you got $30 million guaranteed, your new team won, and your old team lost while failing to score 10 points. Can't you just be happy? Or is "insolent prick" the only setting a "Mike Wallace" comes with?
Tennessee (1-0) at Houston (1-0)
Get your Eddie George and Warren Moon throwbacks out, the Titans are headed back to Houston!
Whatever you do though, don't become the embodiment of Warren Moon, your wives will thank you later. Actually best not to become the embodiment of Eddie George either, unless you want to spend the rest of your days reliving your "best years" as you call them, at Ohio State. Poor Eddie. You were one yard shy of that ring!
The Titans defense looked good, but I think that had more to do with the absolute horse shit offense they were facing last week. Texans win 27-13
Washington (0-1) at Green Bay (0-1)
Leave it up to my "friends" who are, unfortunately, Packer fans to tell me that their 0-1 isn't as bad as the Vikings 0-1. Don't get me wrong, in theory I see where they're coming from. The Packers barely lost to a Super Bowl favorite on the road, whereas the Vikings easily lost to the Lions in a bankrupt city. However 0-1 is fucking 0-1. At the end of the year, both the teams are going to look back at Week 1 and say "if only."
The delusion in "Title Town", and throughout greater Wisconsin, is incredible. Also, did you see that Jordy Nelson commercial? (if you didn't, check it out HERE) Only someone from Kansas could be impressed with Wisconsin. I think Jordy has been hit in the head one too many times, but hey who hasn't? Packers win 27-24
Cleveland (0-1) at Baltimore (0-1)
You may have to read this twice before you believe it. Marqueis Gray made the Browns 53 man roster. I'll give you a second to digest that little fact.......
OK, now that you've accepted the crushing reality that Marqueis Gray is making $390,000 this year to "play" tight end for the Browns, understand that the Browns are going to need 5 touchdowns from Gray on Sunday to have a chance in this game. Ravens win 31-17
Carolina (0-1) at Buffalo (0-1)
Cam Newton and Ron Rivera are challenging Josh Freeman and Greg Shiano as the Dumbest QB/Head Coach Combination. If they lose this weekend in Buffalo, I'm officially handing them the title.
I put absolutely no stock whatsoever in Buffalo hanging with the Patriots. For whatever reason, they always seem to play them hard. Doug Marrone (who?) is the Bills new head coach. He looks like the Bills brass scoured the streets of Buffalo for hours until they found a homeless guy who happened to own a collared Bills shirt. Doug Marrone dresses bummy just like Bill Belechick except you know Marrone looks in the mirror before he leaves the house and says "I look good! Coach is gonna be impressed I dresseded up today...wait... I'M COACH. I look great today." Doug Marrone is proud he tied his own shoes this morning.
Panthers, Rivera, Cam, please don't lose this game. For your own sanity. Panthers win 23-13
New Orleans (1-0) at Tampa Bay (0-1)
The Saints might be back. An impressive Week 1 win against the Falcons, in which Drew Brees and Co. only had to put up 23 points, is a big sign. Last year the Saints only won games when they scored 110 points or more, holding the Falcons offense to 17 points should put the NFC South on notice.
I fully believe Greg Shiano will be fired by midseason and Josh Freeman will be gone next year. The Bucs haven't been good since a guy named Gruden came to town, and he is now safely tucked away between Mike Tirico aka "The Sports Knowledge Bowling Ball" and Tony Kornheiser, the always necessary bald asshole of the group. Nobody can save the Bucs. Saints win 35-24
Detroit (1-0) at Arizona (0-1)
Larry Fitzgerald is the Adrian Peterson of his position. A wide receiver in his athletic prime who just can't get over the hump with his team. His loyalty is unquestionable, his honor is apparent. He has a great attitude and just seems like such a great person. For all his wealth of character and financial security he hasn't achieved the ultimate professional success he so desires. I almost feel worse for Larry. He was essentially 2 minutes and change away from winning a Super Bowl and being the MVP of the game. Instead he had to watch it all slip away from the sideline to fucking Santonio Holmes, a mediocre-at-best NFL WR and admitted small time weed head in his younger years, as well as a petulant child and poor teammate. I'm always rooting for Larry, but I don't see it happening this week. Lions win a close one 31-27
Jacksonville (0-1) at Oakland (0-1)
Whoever loses this game might not win one all year. I think that the fact these two squads play each other this year is actively sabotaging our chance for dueling 0-16 teams for the first time in NFL history.
At least the Raiders made it close in Indy, which was admirable, not to mention Terrelle Pryor's college "just immediately freak out and start running around" style somehow translated to and NFL contest. He actually had a shot to win it at the end! Granted, presented with that opportunity, Pryor threw into triple coverage and was intercepted, but hell, I didn't think he would be that close.
The Jaguars scored 2 points last week. TWO. No offensive points. Blaine Gabbert did what he knows how to do best and got injured. Bring on Chad Henne! Raiders win 17-9, because someone has to, right?
Denver (1-0) at New York Giants (0-1)
Bro Battle! Quarterback Bro Battle!
Peyton Manning only wanted to talk about the Giants defense. The media only wanted to talk about Eli. How many times do you think Peyton has answered the question "What's it like to play in a league with your brother? Do you think its weird that there's 32 starting QB jobs out there and your family has 2 of them?" I'd get sick of talking about that shit too. It'd be like everyday before work I had to explain to a bunch of strangers how I felt about my sister filling oats across town. Peyton Manning could give a fuck about who he's playing. Brother, Father, Grandma, they're all just standing in his way.
The only thing Eli cares about is keeping Tom Coughlin's 107 year old foot out of his ass. Good luck Eli. Broncos win 35-23
San Francisco (1-0) at Seattle (1-0)
So some reserve running back for the Niners piped up and called the Seahawks the "She-hawks", which is just fantastic. Notice there has been no story of Jim Harbaugh condemning such taunting in the lead up before a game? That's probably because Harbaugh told him to say that shit. I love it. Harbaugh is the anti-Belichick who gets the same results as proto-Belichick. He's my favorite coach in the NFL and knows there is nothing wrong with a little trash talking as long as you can back it up.
The Seahawks are in trouble this weekend, and they are going to find out they are a distant second in the division. PERCY WHERE ARE YOU!!!! Niners win 28-17. (I FEAR YOU ANTI-BELECHICK!)
Pittsburgh (0-1) at Cincinnati (0-1)
The Steel Curtain looks a little closer to a Satin Curtain at this point. Age has caught up with the Rapistberger, he can't extend plays like he used too. The whole team looks a step slow.
The Bengals looked rusty in Chicago. They gave up a game they could have had easily if they score early in the 2nd half, but no, they had to let that little bitch Jay Cutler pass his way back into the game. This guy kills me. He couldn't act like a professional if his life depended on it. Yell at your teammates, yell at your coaches, yell at the 12 year old ball boy etc. etc. The only justice would be if he went home everyday, looked in the mirror and yelled at himself for three straight hours. Didn't Jake Plummer teach you anything?!? If you're upset and angry, just grow a crazy beard, it'll make you feel better.
Sorry, got off track on a Bears/Jay Cutler rant. Just warming up for the next game...Bengals win 20-17
There you have it folks. A nice, vitriol-filled appetizer before the main course.
MINNESOTA VIKINGS (0-1) at CHICAGO BEARS (1-0)
Well, last week didn't go so well did it? I hate to throw this stat out there, but I think it's important to do it. The Vikings haven't lost to the Lions and made the playoffs since 1999. Ouch. Hey that could just mean we're due right? Ha ha....ugh.
Regardless I am not altering my 11-5 prediction. It's too quick to jump all over a team that looked completely rusty and out-of-sync in the first week. However, it is fair game to point out their many deficiencies compared to their very few proficiencies. Let get into some positive(s) and negatives from last week's loss in Detroit. As always the positive(s) first:
Positive(s):
-Jerome Simpson JEROME!?! WHERES MY MIRROR!!?? Good to see him come through with a solid game. I said in my Vikings season preview that if he didn't perform early, his job could be quickly lost to rookie Cordarrelle Patterson. Well, perform he did!
140 yards on 7 catches is one of the best games of his career and he looked fast and precise. I want to see Simpson, Jennings, Patterson, and Rudolph all split out wide with Ponder in the shotgun and Adrian Peterson next to him! For that to be an option, some of these negatives need to be addressed.
Negatives:
-Offensive Line Outside of Peterson's first run, the O-Line was unimpressive run blocking. Outside of 5-10 plays, the O-Lines' pass protection was terrible.
I can't say it enough: a guy like Christian Ponder needs at least 4 unmolested seconds in the pocket to look like a functional quarterback in this league. That's not ideal, but it's what you have. If Bill Musgrave is going to call 5 step drops for Ponder, protection is a must.
This offensive line has been together for a long time now, they are supposed to be cohesive, a strength of this team, not a liability. It needs to get better.
-Defensive Front 7 The linebackers? They were a step late the whole game. They got sucked into blocks on multiple screen plays, biting on the play action or running too far up-field, leaving the secondary exposed. On Reggie Bush's untouched 77 yard TD they bit so badly it left the Lions offensive linemen to THROW BLOCKS ON SAFTIES AND CORNERBACKS. Next time, at the very least, could you guys occupy an offensive lineman so the secondary only has to get off a block form a wide receiver to make a TD saving tackle?
The defensive line? They failed to establish and change the line of scrimmage. They got no pressure the entire game. It was pathetic. Luckily, it sounds like Kevin Williams will be back this week in Chicago. Let's hope he makes all the difference.
-Jeff Locke Dude, that fucking sucked. Get better.
-The Vikings "Fans" For everyone calling for Matt Cassel to start in Week2: You are an asshole, you are fairweather, and you don't understand the greater picture.
Rick Spielman and Leslie Frazier have invested everything in Christian Ponder. To pull the plug this quickly, would make them the John Kerry's of the NFL. Flip-floppers aren't elected and they don't keep high level NFL jobs. You stick to your guns, you go down with the ship if necessary.
What happens if you start Cassel in Chicago and he throws 4 picks? What then? Mcleod-Bethel-Thompson? Or go back to Ponder and look completely pathetic like you're the New York Jets?
This is Ponders' year, like it or not. If you hate him that much, you should be excited for him to prove his failure, and make it clear-cut, not some wishy-washy bullshit.
Three Keys To A Vikings Victory:
Key #1: Win The Turnover Battle
The Vikings rarely win a game at home while losing the turnover battle, much less games on the road. Ponder needs to stop making rookie mistakes and handing the ball over like he's a pedophile with candy on a playground.
The Vikings defense actually did a real solid job of creating turnovers against the Lions, lots of batted balls by the defensive line and good tip-drill skills by the 2nd and 3rd levels. The only problem is Christian Ponder did a better job at creating turnovers.
Key #2: Make Jay Cutler Berate His Teammates
Getting to the Bears is as simple as getting to Cutler. If Baby Huey starts getting hit he starts yelling at things (his lineman, his receivers, his water bottle, the Gatorade cooler). Things descend into passive-aggressive madness on that sideline, which is not an environment conducive to victory. Make Cutlers' teammates fuck up around him consistently, and the infrastructure of the team will crumble by halftime, because Cutler is and always will be, a petulant child.
Key #3: Stop Fucking Up, Christian Ponder
I'm not even going to quote his stat line last week because it wasn't good enough.
I want to believe in this dude, he just makes it so hard. He's terrible. I think, in all honesty, he is the football equivalent of a golfer with the yips. Ponder psyches himself out so bad, sometimes he can't even make the short putts. Prove me wrong, Ponder, I'm rooting for you to.
Two Matchups To Watch:
Matchup #1: Matt Kalil vs. Julius Peppers
Kalil held Peppers without a sack in 2013 en route to a Pro Bowl rookie campaign, but has looked weak throughout the pre-season and against the Lions in Week 1.Peppers was held without a sack OR a tackle against the Bengals last week and is sure to be pissed off.
Something's got to give. Ponder has absolutely no blindside awareness, Kalil needs to win this battle if the Vikings want to win.
Matchup #2: Matt Forte vs. The Vikings Linebackers
The linebackers have to put out a bounce-back game in terms of tackling and sniffing out plays before the snap. On certain plays in the Lions game I thought the linebackers looked lost in the shuffle, confused of where to be. Erin Henderson needs to step up and be more of a vocal leader if he is to be a functional starting middle linebacker. I hope I see more tackles in the backfield this week in Chicago.
Mike's All-Purpose Flour Lock Of The Week:
Adrian Peterson, Running Back, YOUR Minnesota Vikings
AP scored 3 touchdowns last week but was boxed up after his initial 78 yard scamper. He does tend to destroy the Bears and I think you can count on him to break at least one long run and get a couple goal-line TD's. 120 yards/2TDs
Final Takes
I don't like to harp on play calling, but I severely question the lack of plays for Cordarrelle Patterson and Jarius Wright. I want to let Christian Ponder open the offense up and see what he can do with 4-Wide on a regular basis. This 3 TE/1 WR bullshit isn't working much anymore. Not between the 20's anyway. It still looks like Musgrave is afraid to let Ponder air it out. That is not a good sign. I want the reigns to be released on Ponder so he can clearly succeed or fail as a starter.
Ponder has run out of excuses, put Patterson in the game and see what they can do together. I mean what the fuck? Its not rocket science!
This is going to be a close game and a frustrating loss for the Vikings, but they will make vast improvements in terms of execution, and the season is young. Don't panic yet, the best is yet to come. This ones going to hurt, but I said the Vikings would be 2-2 going into the bye, and that's still a very real possibility, even with this loss.
Final Score:
Minnesota Vikings: 24
Chicago Bears: 27
BOOOOOOOOOO!
There you have it, football fans. Michael predicts that the Vikings will leave Chicago disappointed, giving them something in common with every other person who has ever visited Chicago ever. Sad times all around.
For more Mike Otto be sure to give him a follow on Twitter (@SwervinTaters). Be sure to follow him this Sunday during the game as he breaks down the Vikings efforts to steal a game at Soldier Field. He can also be found right here on Newest Industry contributing to our Trendsetting column.
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