Songs Of The Week #64: TCDroogsma & MinneSarah

Darkside, Unknown Mortal Orchestra, Ha Ha Tonka, Polvo, & France Camp...

Well hello again, MP3 junkies!  Welcome to Songs Of The Week #64!

For those of you who are new to the SOTW column, here's the story:  TCDroogsma and MinneSarah are both fans of The Current's Song Of The Day podcast.  They're also both opinionated and have access to computers.  Seeing an opportunity to let them indulge in their MP3 habit and put them to work writing reviews we created the Songs Of The Week column.  Over a year later later and here we are.

As always, we strongly suggest that you follow this link and subscribe to the podcast yourself.  It's free and it's fun for the whole family!

To that end, once you've given each song a spin or two, feel free to cast a vote for your favorite song of the week in the poll to the right side of the page.  The artist who accrues the most votes wins the validation that comes from winning an anonymous internet poll, arguably the loftiest height to which a modern musician can aspire.

As per tradition TCDroogsma and MinneSarah have not read each other's reviews prior to posting

So... Droogsy, Sarah... thoughts?

01.  Darkside - Golden Arrow (from the album Psychic)

 
TCDroogsma:

     Over the past five or six year I've really gotten to a place in my life where I can sit an enjoy a long instrumental.  Beat tapes & instrumental EP's account for quite a bit of the music I've acquired lately.  Honestly, I was kind of excited to spend a week with this one.

     "Golden Arrow" is an OK song that suffers from mis-formatting.  It's made up of three distinct parts, which would be fine if they blended together (or if this were an EP rather than a single track), but these parts literally end before the next one begins, leaving "Golden Arrow" feeling like three different tracks (though it did make my morning coffee & hashbrown preparation seem pretty epic).  Unlike, say, that Boards Of Canada song we reviewed a couple of months back, "Golden Arrow" doesn't feel like part of a a larger whole.  Rather, it feels like three kinda-sorta ideas placed in order, but hardly "together."

MinneSarah:

     It was bound to happen that The Current would post a 12 minute long song to the Song of the Day podcast.  Golden Arrow is a an experimental electronic duo out of Brooklyn and the folks over at Pitchfork have an absolute hard on for them. You can tell this act has some chutzpuh, because they are not afraid to leave you on the line for the first 6 minutes of "Darkside."  The song picks up, adds some drums ... and then ... vocals that make me wonder if they went back in time and snagged Sting before he had a chance to join The Police.  That first six minutes may just be the ambient noise of a time machine.  It's one of those songs that draws the listener in as it acquires layers, but be warned, it's a slow grow.


Final Score - TCDroogsma: 2.5/5
                     MinneSarah: 3/5

02.  Unknown Mortal Orchestra - No Need For A Leader (from the EP Blue Record)

 
TCDroogsma:

     I feel a little bit strange reviewing this song now that the weather's changed since it's parent album II was one of my favorite's this summer.  In my brain "No Need For A Leader" soundtracks super hot strolls downtown.  It seems very out of place at the end of October.

     I suppose that's my brain's problem, though, and not the song's.  I picked up II on the strength of "So Good At Being In Trouble," a Motown-esque pop song masquerading as indie rock.  Where that song stood on pillars of immaculate hooks and relatable lyrics of relationship problems, "No Need For A Leader" leans heavily on groove, mood, & psychedelic lyrics.  Typically you wouldn't be able to sell me on that formula, but I made up my mind on this one a while ago and I'm on board.

MinneSarah:

     Funky and psychedelic sounding, "No Need For A Leader," is a catchy song straight on the cusp of 1972 turns into 2013.  The song features a substantial bass solo, and it is certainly the lower tones that drive the song forward in a fun and upbeat way. The vocals are higher pitched and have an echo effect, and the lyrics are as trippy as the rest of the song -  "Don't like to fall, but when we go down, we'll tip toe" and "We ate all the bones and wondered why there were no bones left."  At nearly six minutes, this song gets a little jam band, but at that point in a song, you are either going back in time or jamming out.

Final Score - TCDroogsma: 3/5
                     MinneSarah: 3.5/5

03.  Ha Ha Tonka - Colorful Kids (from the album Lessons)

 
TCDroogsma:

     While it's no secret that I'm a fan of power-pop, "Colorful Kids" just didn't do it for me.  At it's core it's an honest song with an honest sentiment, but Ha Ha Tonka sounds like they're doing everything in their power to pull the song somewhere else.  We're treated to some of indie rock's most exhausted tricks: group vocals, stop/start guitar work, a choir (for some reason)...  Spending the whole song trying to hide it's pure heart with every bell & whistle they can find, Ha Ha Tonka leaves me wondering if maybe that "honest" sentiment is just another of their poses.

MinneSarah:

     As far as this modern Americana trend, Ha Ha Tonka ain't half bad.  "Colorful Kids" is a catchy folky tune ... until they bring in the 2010's folk revival requisite choral accompaniment. However, the bridge is pretty creative, so it comes back from the cliche and goes in its own unique direction.  The lyrics are repetitive - they had color until the black and white world sucked it out of them.  As would any band from Missouri worth its weight in Provel, they call out Huckelberry Finn to teach them how to run away. You know Mark Twain doesn't get a fair share in literary shout outs in songs these days. #useyourallusion

Final Score - TCDroogsma: 2/5
                     MinneSarah: 2.5/5

04.  Polvo - Total Immersion (from the album In Prism)

 
TCDroogsma:

     "Total Immersion" just might be the most appropriately named single of 2013.

     Polvo begins the song knocking a groove back & forth as if they're just warming up.  When the lyrics open with line, "The hippie was gone before the lights came on..." I expected a six minute story as to just what happened to the hippie.  Evidently, it doesn't matter.  Polvo quickly abandons telling us a story and focuses on crafting a shape-shifting groove that resembles what it feels like to drive around in a heavy fog.  Every so often a vocal hook or guitar line stands out like a recognized street or a stoplight, which is what makes "Total Immersion" so much fun.  It's recognizable (at least to a 31 year old), but also curiously left-of-center.

MinneSarah:

     The 90's were the best decade I have had the pleasure of living through.  I'm not just saying that out of nostalgia - ask any 19 year old working at Urban Outfitters - it's the truth.  While I never heard of Polvo during the 90's, this Chapel Hill band is reforming to let all the 90's enthusiasts know what we missed while we were debating which pair of Docs to wear to Lollapalooza.

     "Total Immersion" is guitar driven and dissonant.  The vocals barely break through the melee of the drums/bass/guitar, which puts them on par with the other instruments, not out front.  Clocking in at just under seven minutes, this song maintains interest by not letting any part get stale - it switches up before patterns form, yet can still be considered a coherent work - well done.

Final Score - TCDroogsma: 4/5
                     MinneSarah: 4/5

05.  France Camp - Ghost Town (from the album France Camp)

 
TCDroogsma:

     I spent years and years calling for more Twin Cities bands to let their guard down, pour some whiskey, turn up their guitars, and see what happens.  Evidently I wasn't alone.

     Acts like Nallo, The Chambermaids, Pony Trash, Fury Things, & Prissy Clerks have helped to re-establish the rock 'n roll side of Minneapolis lately.  "Ghost Town" may not have the hooks of some of those bands, but if they're going to sell a song with this much spirit it doesn't really matter.  At it's reverb-drenched core "Ghost Town" just the type of fast-and-loose-and-tipsy rock n roll that the Twin Cities were built on.

MinneSarah:

     If France Camp were a real place, or at least as real as Rock And Roll High School, I'd visit based on this song,..but I probably can because this song sounds like a live show, and I'm pretty sure they play shows.  The band sounds like they are having a good time while playing "Ghost Town" and that brings a distinct charm to the low-fi recording.The vocals move between melodic and screaming, the lyrics sound appropriately accusatory, and the tempos switches will keep you guessing. Jangly California guitar makes this song a modern soundtrack to your next North Shore road trip - bring beer.


Final Score - TCDroogsma: 3/5
                     MinneSarah: 3.5/5

Well there you have it, MP3 junkies!  Another week's worth of songs downloaded, reviewed, & filed away!

As always, please keep in mind that neither Newest Industry nor our contributors are in any way affiliated with the artists above, The Current, or MPR.  We're just music fans with laptops and a bit too much time on our hands.

For more TCDroogsma be sure to give him a follow on Twitter (@TCDroogsma).  He can also be found right here on Newest Industry hosting our free weekly podcast Flatbasset Radio

For more MinneSarah be sure to give her a follow on Twitter (@MinneSarah).  She can also be found right here on Newest Industry filing reports out of St. Paul for our Big Day Out column







For more Newest Industry be sure to give us a follow on Twitter (@NewestIndustry1) to stay up on the work being done by all of our contributors.  More importantly, we have a Facebook page here.  Trivial as it seems, stopping by and giving us a "Like" is a free & legitimate way to support the blog.

Ten & Six With Mike Otto - Week 9 (Thursday Bonus!)

I might drink a little more than I should tonight...

Well hello again, football fans!  It's Thursday and that means it's time for Ten & Six's Week 9 kickoff!

The Vikings may still be licking their wounds after the Packers rolled through town last week, but the league marches on!  Well, the league as represented by the Cincinnati Bengals & Miami Dolphins.  Mike will be back later this week to discuss the fortunes of The Purple, but that's for Saturday.

Mikey, who takes the W tonight?

Cincinnati (6-2) at Miami (3-4)

The Bengals brought order back to the universe last week when they put 40+ on the Jets in a laughable route.

Speaking of laughable, it's the Miami Dolphins! Their 3-0 start is long forgotten in the wake of 4 straight losses. The Dolphins can't seem to catch a break or any consistency. I watched a little of that Dolphins/Patriots game on Sunday, and one thing stuck out to me: Ryan Tannehill is not good. On one particular playhe totally hangs his open WR out to dry over the middle of the field with a terrible pass, the Dolphins WR subsequently gets hit, lands awkwardly, annnnnd... is out for the year with a torn patella tendon. I feel for that dude, that's one of the hardest injuries to come back from in professional sports, and it was all avoidable if Tannehill can throw a football. Yes, it appears as though yet another Dolphins season is headed down the tubes.

I've adopted the Bengals as my 3rd favorite team behind the Vikings of course, and the Colts. Something about miserable Ohio teams make me want them to succeed. Plus, I mean come on, AJ Green and the NFL's only true Ginger starting quarterback? Sign me up. 

Final Score

Cincinnati Bengals: 23
Miami Dolphins: 17

There you have it folks!  For at least one week in November the people of Cincinnati can claim superiority over people in Miami.

As we memtioned, be sure to stop by on Saturday for Mike's full Ten & Six: Week 9 post.  He'll delve into just what went wrong last week, what to watch for this week, and make the rest of his league picks!

 

 

For more Mike Otto be sure to give him a follow on Twitter (@SwervinTaters).  He can also be found right here on Newest Industry contributing to our Trendsetting column.

 

For more Newest Industry be sure to give us a follow on Twitter (@NewestIndustry1) to stay up on the work being done by all of our contributors.  More importantly, we have a Facebook page here.  Trivial as it seems, stopping by and giving us a "Like" is a free & legitimate way to support the blog.

 

Newest Industry Presents: Flatbasset Radio - Episode #22

You know I try so hard...

Hello again, free music fans! Welcome to Flatbasset Radio: Episode #22!
 
For those of you who are unaware of the Flatbasset Radio format, here's what you're looking at: TCDroogsma is our resident MP3 junkie. As you've probably noticed in his Songs Of The Week column, he's not always the most positive music fan. In an effort to prove that he is, in fact, a fan of music, we give him an hour each week to play the songs he's digging and talk a little bit about them. Once he's recorded his podcast we put it right here on the website for free to stream!

In this week's episode Droogsy finds the perfect song for autumn driving, continues to struggle with French, admits that he still hasn't grown out of his emo phase, questions the benefits of indie distribution model, celebrates a classic hip-hop album's anniversary, reminisces on small town, big box record buying, plays a radio commercial from the 70's, & pays tribute to a fallen rock n roll icon.

You can download the podcast for free by clicking the episode's title or stream the episode by clicking on the Mixcloud player below.

Flatbassset Radio - Episode #22

Flatbasset Radio: Episode #22 by Tcdroogsma on Mixcloud

01. The Rolling Stones - Beast Of Burden
02. Steddy P & DJ Mahf (w/Mad Dukez) - Get Up
03. Cruel Love - I Am The Airplane
04. BNLX - Opposites Attract
05. The Central Division - It's Not The Heat, It's The Humility
06. Atmosphere - Lifter Puller
07. Graham Coxon - In A Salty Sea
08. P.O.S. (w/Justin Vernon) - How We Land (MDS RMX)
09. Bars Of Gold - Coffee With Pele
10. Heems - Killing Time
11. King Krule - Border Line
12. Lou Reed - Perfect Day (Acoustic Demo)

There you have it, music fans! Enjoy!

For more TCDroogsma be sure to give him a follow on Twitter (@TCDroogsma).  He can also be found right here on Newest Industry reviewing singles in our Songs Of The Week column. Previous episodes of Flatbasset Radio are archived on his Mixcloud page.

For more Newest Industry be sure to give us a follow on Twitter (@NewestIndustry1) to stay up on the work being done by all of our contributors.  More importantly, we have a Facebook page here.  Trivial as it seems, stopping by and giving us a "Like" is a free & legitimate way to support the blog.  

Your Name Is Wild: Week #4

Feels good to be home, baby...

Well hello again, hockey fans!  Welcome to Week #3 of Your Name Is Wild!

For those of you who are new to the column, here's the scoop:  The NHL season is a long, tedious journey.  We decided that this season we would ask TCDroogsma of the blog Wildly Biased to stop by each week and give us an update on our local squad.

Droogsy, what'd we miss?

Well hello again, Wild fans.  Thanks for stopping by for Week #4 of Your Name Is Wild.

Our beloved hockey squad went into this week spinning their wheels.  A four game trip through the Atlantic Division earned the Wild 3 out of 8 available points and brought with it more questions than answers.  Who's going to score?  What's wrong with the PK?  Are the Wild too thin in goal? Is Mike Yeo starting to feel the heat?

That last question was really beginning to gain some steam.  The Blues & Avalanche are fighting it out for the division lead, the Blackhawks are a sleeping giant, and the Wild are struggling to beat teams like Nashville & Buffalo.  That 1-2-1 trip through the Atlantic left the Wild at 3-3-3 for the season.  If the Wild couldn't do any better than treading water against Nashville & Carolina at home things could get ugly.

So let's break this down:

The Week That Was

Tuesday 10/22 - Wild: 2  Nashville: 0

Remember a couple of weeks back when I was breaking down the Wild's loss in Nashville and I mentioned that the Wild & Predators always seem to play bizarro games?  Tuesday's victory was the exception that proves the rule.

Wild coach Mike Yeo has built this Wild team around speed, defense, puck possession, and solid goaltending.  So far this season the Wild has proven that they are capable of playing that game with one huge flaw:  they fail to turn those first three attributes into goals.  Tuesday night they dominated the Predators for much of the game, peppering Preds goalie Pekka Rinne with 28 shots while holding his team to just 16 shots of their own.  The Wild's strong play finally paid off when Rinne failed to hold on to a Clayton Stoner shot and Justin Fontaine, playing on the first line, buried the rebound.

Unsurprisingly, despite the statistical domination, the outcome was still very much up in the air until the final minute.  The Wild were unable to beat Rinne again, but finally sealed the victory when Jason Pominville put away an empty netter .

Wild Player Of The Game:  Josh Harding - Hards pretty much wins this one by default.  He stopped all 16 shots he faced to notch his first shutout of the year (with no small amount of help from Jared Spurgeon, who swept a puck of the goal line with under a minute remaining to preserve the victory).  Harding played well, but wasn't challenged much.

Impression Of The Game:  The win (over a division rival) lifted the Wild over .500 on the season and alleviated a ton of pressure from Mike Yeo.  The win came with a price, though, as prized sophomore defenseman Jonas Brodin took a puck to the face, breaking his cheekbone and knocking him out of the lineup for the foreseeable future.  Two points is two points, but this was a boring, frustrating game in which the Wild's biggest question mark (why can't this team score?) remained unanswered.

Thursday 10/24 - Wild: 3  Carolina: 1

After lugging themselves over the .500 mark, the Wild welcomed the Carolina Hurricanes to town.  With the lockout last season the Wild & Canes hadn't faced each since the 2011-12 season, meaning that neither team really know each other too well.  Throw in a semi-conservative game plan due to the loss of Brodin & Keith Ballard (meaning both Mathew Dumba & Nate Prosser were in the lineup on defense) and the two teams combined to play a peculiar, disjointed game.  Fortunately the Wild came out of it with two more points in the bank.

Things got weird quickly in the first period.  The Wild came out with pop-guns firing, sending 5 shots at Carolina goaltender Cam Ward.  After stopping those shots Ward lunged to his right to try to stop a Mikael Granlund shot that ended up missing the net.  Something popped in Ward's leg and he was unable to continue, giving way to backup Justin Peters.  Rolling into the game ice cold, Peters promptly gave up goals on each of the first two shots he faced.  Nino Niederreiter broke through first, roofing a sexy Mikael Granlund pass.  All-American Boy Zach Parise added to the lead three minutes later, deflecting a Jared Spurgeon shot past Peters.

The Wild & Hurricanes traded jabs for the second period with only the Canes landing a blow in the form of Alexander Semin's power-play goal.  The real story of the second period, however, was Josh Harding suffering an injury.  At some point during the period Harding strained his leg, grimacing in pain and moving gingerly during stoppages.

(Quick Goalie Sidenote:  I said it several times during Harding's stretch of hot play:  Every time it looks like Harding is going to grab the #1 goalie role on this team he loses it because he gets injured rather than cooling off.  That's exactly what happened during this second period.  We've all seen this movie too many times.)

Niklas "The Scientist" Backstrom returned from his own injury to pitch a shutout for the third period.  The St. Paul faithful, lethargic Tuesday night despite the Wild victory, finally came to life with Backstrom's reemergence.  When Dany Heatley finally scored his first goal of the year, an empty-netter to clinch the victory, the Xcel Energy Center was downright giddy for the first time in a couple of weeks.

Wild Player Of The Game:  Ryan Suter - Suter had the secondary assist on Parise's goal, but that's not why I'm giving him the POTG status.  Mike Yeo & Chuck Fletcher have built a team that relies on controlling the puck & the pace.  When Jonas Brodin (and earlier, Keith Balalrd) went down, the Wild were able to continue dictating the style of the game because Ryan Suter is just that good.  They leaned on him against Nashville when they played most of the game with only five defensemen.  They leaned on him again when they moved Jared Spurgeon up to be his defensive partner.  Mathew Dumba & Nate Prosser received a lot of credit (all of it deserved) for stepping into the lineup and handling business, but they can't handle their business if Suter doesn't roll with the punches and continue dominating.

Impression Of The Game:  The Wild finally erased the negativity surrounding their ugly road trip.  The Canes are not a particularly good team, but neither were the Sabres, Preds, & Panthers.  This time the Wild outplayed their opponent and were justly rewarded.  The score makes this game seem much closer than it actually was.  Positivity abounds as the Wild head to Chicago for a Saturday night showdown with the Blackhawks.

Saturday 10/26 - Wild: 5  Chicago: 3

Before I get into this one I feel like I should mention a few things:

1.  The Blackhawks are not at the top of their powers.  Maybe it's Stanley Cup hangover, maybe it's just too early in the season, but for whatever reason the Hawks aren't quite "there" yet.

2.  There's almost nothing quite so "Minnesota Sports Team" as viewing a regular season game against a team that thrashed you in the playoffs as a "rematch."  Minnesota teams always win these inconsequential "rematches," causing their fans to sound like idiots bragging about the victory.

3.  I hate Chicago.  The Blackhawks and their fairweather fans can all go fuck themselves.

Now that we've cleared that up:  fuckin' A, boys!  The Wild rolled into Chicago and, in addition to thrashing the defending champs, managed to make it back out of the city without losing anybody to a bullet wound.  That, my friends, is a win/win.

The Wild didn't dominate this one, but they certainly went toe-to-toe with the champs, scoring the first two goals of the game as Backstrom held down the fort.  When the Hawk did manage to land a blow of their own (in the form of a Bryan Bickell goal), the Wild responded immediately by abusing golden boy Nick Leddy and burying a goal to restore the two-goal lead.

The Wild scored 5 goals in this one, matching their season-high.  The mantra over the last couple of weeks was that the floodgates were going to give eventually.  I don't think anybody expected this game to be the one where it actually happened (though, in hindsight, it's Corey Crawford).  Suck it, Chicago.

Wild Player Of The Game:  Mikael Granlund - Granlund entered the game playing very well, tied for the team lead with 5 assists and raising some questions about what would happen when Charlie Coyle returned to the lineup.  Two assists (and one awesome high-stick of pretty boy Patrick Sharp) later and Granlund ended the game with the nickname "Finnish Jesus."  Nothing will endear you to the fanbase quite like sticking it to the Blackhawks.  The fact that he was able to steal Nick Leddy's pass and then make Leddy look silly on the ensuing assist (pictured above) was enough to make people shut the fuck up about the Nick Leddy/Cam Barker trade for at least a couple of days.  Well done.

Impression Of The Game:  I don't blame the Wild fanbase for letting this one go to their (our) heads.  Consider:

Last season the Wild went into Chicago to try to end the Hawks points streak.  Devin Setoguchi scored first and the Wild looked like they may be giant slayers.  Within the hour the Hawks had scored four goals and sucked the life out of everybody involved.

Drawing the Hawks in the playoffs Cal Clutterbuck scored the first goal of the series, causing us all to collectively buy what the Wild were selling.  The Hawks dominated the rest of that game and eventually won when Johnny Oduya made the greatest pass he'll ever make.

So, when the Wild got the first couple of goals on Saturday night I think we were all a bit tentative of being burned a third time.  However, the Wild came through.  I mean, how often do I even get to type that sentence.  It may have been the textbook "inconsequential rematch," but the Wild won it.

The Wild started the week 3-3-3 with their coach on the hot seat.  They ended it 6-3-3 and thrashing their divisional rivals.  I think it's safe to say that it was a good week to be a Wild fan.

The Week Ahead

Monday 10/28 - Chicago at Wild

The second half of the home-and-home brings the Blackhawks and their filthy, filthy fans to St. Paul.  What else is there to say?

Friday 11/1 - Montreal at Wild

The first of November brings with it welfare checks and the Habs' only visit to St. Paul.  If I remember correctly the last time the Candiens visited St. Paul was the last game of the 2011-2012 season and P.K. Subban scored his only career hat trick.  Much like the Hurricanes game this week the Habs are an unfamiliar opponent.  With three days off between games, however, Mike Yeo should be able to draw up a plan.

Sunday 11/3 - New Jersey at Wild

My memory is even more slippery here, but I believe the last time the Devils were in town was one of those wonky games where both teams used both goalies.  This one was especially significant because the Wild chased future Hall-Of-Famer Martin Broduer after something like 10 minutes.  While nothing is official it's very likely that this game will be the last chance the St. Paul faithful get to see Martin Brodeur in person.  It may also be their last chance to Jaromir Jagr as well, though that's probably a good thing, as his career resurrection isn't doing his legacy any favors.

The Big Picture

Listen, we have years and years of blog posts that should show you how I always expect the worst when things are going well.  The Wild have been routinely outplaying their opponents for two weeks now and they're finally beginning to get some of the bounces.  If anything it's beginning to look like that three game losing streak two weeks ago is going to turn out to be the anomaly.

Regardless, this week is no cake walk.  The Blackhawks may act like they don't care much about any game this early in the season, but I'm certain that some of the guys in that room won't take a beating like Saturday's lying down. Mike Yeo's hot seat should be nice and cool for a while now, but this week features three winnable home games.  Best to take advantage.

 

 

For more of TCDroogsma's hockey ramblings be sure to give him a follow on Twitter (@WildlyBiased).  He can also be found writing about the Wild in greater detail on his hockey blog Wildly Biased.

 

For more Newest Industry be sure to give us a follow on Twitter (@NewestIndustry1) to stay up on the work being done by all of our contributors.  More importantly, we have a Facebook page here.  Trivial as it seems stopping by & giving us a "Like" is a free & legitimate way to support the blog.

Ten & Six With Mike Otto: Week 8 - Green Bay Packers at Minnesota Vikings (Plus Picks!)

Guess who's back and he's stuntin' on these hoes...

Well helllo again, footballs fans!  Welcome back to Ten & Six!

It's been a long, strange week here in the land of snow & purple rain.  Monday's game in New Jersey went... well... it went poorly.  New quarterback Josh Freeman struggled and, it was later revealed, suffered a concussion.  Which means The Purple are returning to the one & only Christian Ponder for Packers week.  Ya gotta dance with who brung ya.

As you can probably imagine, Mikey has a few thoughts on all of this.

Mr. Otto, the floor is yours.

This coaching staff is done for. It's just a matter of when.

I don't believe Zygi Wilf wants to part ways with his coaches in the middle of the season, but if it becomes obvious that the players are tanking it on Leslie Frazier, Musgrave, etc., he won't have a choice. I don't see that happening, these players have too much pride and don't seem to have an entitlement attitude. If the team continues to play uncompetitive, ugly, downright pathetic football, getting blown out by average or below average teams and not showing even an ounce of offensive fight, Leslie and co. won't make it to seasons end. Wilf is trying to sell personal seat licenses to his new stadium, at a certain point, it will simply become a business decision for him. I never want to see anybody lose their job, but come seasons end there won't be an alternative.

I actually have to give Zygi a little credit for not signing his coaching staff to a long term extension last off-season. A lot of owners would have after his coaches led that team to a 10-6 record. Shit, I probably would have. I guess that's why I'm writing this and he owns an NFL franchise. I didn't see this coming. Zygi must have had a feeling. A decent football mind sits atop the Vikings owners shoulders, so I know any decision he makes won't be rash, but rather well thought out and proper.

Monday's game itself was horrible. The Vikings have scored one offensive touchdown in the last 8 quarters, and that came in garbage time. Josh Freeman is as bad as I feared. He tossed 16 overthrows, the most in any game since the NFL started tracking the stat 8 years ago. His 35% completion rate is the worst since 2007. He said before the game he was ready and that when it comes down to it, "football is football". So I'm not accepting the cop out that he was "thrown to the wolves" or in some way unprepared to play. I saw a couple plays attempted that the Vikings hadn't called yet this year, the playbook wasn't slimmed down too drastically. He said he was ready, he gave his best effort, and he failed miserably.

The only good thing I took away from Freeman's performance was his dedication to stay in the pocket and take a hit. He threw 53 times and I think he got hit on 30 of those drop backs. He had plenty of wide open receivers that he missed by 5 feet or more. If the Vikings could combine the best attributes of Freeman, Cassel and Ponder, they might have a good NFL QB. Unfortunately, Eric Sugarman is not Doctor Frankenstein.

Time for me to apologize. I'm sorry for predicting 11-5. I called the 10-6 record last year and it may have went to my head. I was fooled.

The head-scratcher in all this is that, outside of the loss of Antoine Winfield, the roster is nearly identical to last year. The receivers, on paper got an upgrade. The most confusing part is trying to understand exactly what the fuck has happened to the offensive line. The same 5 guys who led the way for AP's historic season last year seem to have forgot how to run block. Their pass protection is one of the worst in the league and I just don't understand where this extreme regression is coming from. It's almost like they have gotten physically weaker before our very eyes. 

Regardless, I failed to read the tea leaves and see this coming. Eleven wins? I'm having trouble finding a second win right now.

The rest of the schedule is as follows: host Green Bay, at Dallas, host Washington, at Seattle (oh god no), at Green Bay, host Chicago, at Baltimore, host Philadelphia, at Cincinnati, host Detroit. Yikes. Maybe Chicago or Detroit?

We could be witnessing the worst Vikings season in their long, winding history. Be easier on yourself and find a way to embrace the suck. Enjoy the suck. Let's keep starting Freeman, as the rest of the season unfolds we can watch his confidence and abilities erode right in front of us. Minneapolis may serve as your careers tomb, Mr. Freeman. I have never been more convinced he is the quarterback equivalent of a burning Ford Pinto on the side of 94 West. Nothing left to do but slow down and watch the fire. This team is epically bad from top to bottom, yet the roster isn't much different from last year. Such is the life of an NFL franchise.

The worst part about all of this for me? Bill Barnwell was right.

Let's move onto some league picks. My picks went 8-7 last week including an embarrassing prediction that the Jaguars would beat the Chargers. They scored 6 points. Never again, Jacksonville, never again. STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!

San Francisco (5-2) at Jacksonville (0-7) 

The only thing stupider than picking the Jaguars to beat the Chargers last week would be if an NFL team asked a new QB to throw 53 times behind a shitty offensive line...sigh.

I find myself becoming a Jaguars fan, simply because I want them to nab a couple wins and give my team the #1 pick in next year's draft. Not going to happen this week, the Niners destroy the Jags 31-13.

Cleveland (3-4) at Kansas City (7-0)

The Chiefs are the only undefeated team in the NFL and they are fun to watch. Another thing that was fun to watch was Andy Reid's celebration dance after the Chiefs last win. It looked like he ate Alvin and The Chipmunks. For a man that is larger than life, that dance was funnier than fuck.

As we watch yet another Browns season flush down the tubes, I am somewhat saddened. I just want success for the Browns fans. Cleveland is a terrible city, you'd think eventually the football gods would throw them a bone. Nope. Chiefs win, 23-16.

Miami (3-3) at New England (5-2)

Speaking of seasons flushing down the tubes, it's the Miami Dolphins! The Dolphins acquired Bryant McKinnie this week, signaling the official end to any prosperity and success that McKinnie shall ever enjoy. It's his hometown and there are simply too many strip clubs, parties, and cheap women for him to have any time to workout or focus on football. Brady and Belichick get back in the win column with a 28-20 victory.

Buffalo (3-4) at New Orleans (5-1)

The Bizarro World Game Of The Week! Up is down, good is bad, and the Bills have a chance to win this game!

J/K babe, the absolute destruction of the Buffalo Bills is blatantly imminent. Drew Brees could drink a bottle of Nyquil before the game and still lead the Saints to a 10 point victory. The ghost of Bruce Smith can't save you now, Buffalo! Saints roll 37-9.

Detroit (4-3) at Dallas (4-3)

The Lions need to get their edge back. Maybe they should start spelling their name with a "z" on the end like every moronic 18-23 year old girl in America. Lolzzzz, the Lionz play the Cowboyzzz today!

In all seriousness, the Lions need this one if they want to keep up with the Packers in the NFC North. However, we all know the Detroit Lions better than that. Lose this game and it is the beginning of the end for the kitties and mostly, Jim Schwartz. And that's Schwartz with a "z" bitchezzz! 'Boyz win 26-23.

New York Giants (1-6) at Philadelphia (3-4)

Time for the Giants to get back to what they do best: losing. That was a fun week for Giants fans, but even those simple-minded idiots have to realize that beating that Vikings team last week is no special accomplishment. The Vikings would have lost to all 31 teams last week. The Eagles aren't great, but they're average and that is going to be more than enough against this shitty Giants team. Mike Vick and the Eagles win easy, 24-14.

Pittsburgh (2-4) at Oakland (2-4)

Terrelle Pryor should watch old tapes of Big Ben and his quarterbacking style. I think that is his best path to sustained success in the NFL. He needs to extend plays from the pocket and outside of it. Roethlisberger is getting old. I'm not entirely certain if he will still be effective 2-3 years from now. He's always avoided the big injury, but as father time catches up with Big Ben, that could easily change. Raiders win a close one 20-19.

New York Jets (4-3) at Cincinnati (5-2)

The fucking Jets just won't die! Go away! This was supposed to be the end of Rex Ryan! Not a new, terrible beginning!

What truly troubles me is that at times Geno Smith looks like a competent NFL quarterback. I then remember, with great relief, that so did mark Sanchez the first couple years of his career. Remember how that all ended? How could we forget? The GQ covers, the interceptions, the subsequent butt fumble and countless failures we all know and love. Maybe I should embrace this momentary success by the Jets, because it may just be the path to a whole new, exciting collection of Jets blunders somewhere in the near future.

Yeah, that's what I'm going with, if only because I want to get to sleep at night. Bengals win 23-20.

Atlanta (2-4) at Arizona (3-4)

Is there a more boring team in the NFL than the Cards? I can't find a damn thing interesting about them. That's how I generally feel about whatever team Carson Palmer signs with. He has made a long career of wasting 1-2 years of every franchise he goes to. Yet every year he keeps getting a chance from teams who swear all they need is a "game manager". Well all I need is for Carson Palmer to fuck off into the sunset. 

Falcons season isn't what they hoped, but 10-6 is still a possibility for them if they can figure out how quit dicking around. Falcons win 22-16.

Daniel Snyder (2-4) at Denver (6-1)

The Washington R-words travel to Denver as the Broncos try to bounce back from their 1st loss of the year. 

Hey Snyder, what's so hard about changing your name to the Washington Natives? It still is a stylish name, that makes as much sense as a Jaguar in Jacksonville or a Lion in Detroit. The logo becomes much less offensive in my opinion, if you just change the name. Whatever. RG III makes this one close, but Peyton wins it for the Broncos late, 27-24.

Seattle (6-1) at St. Louis (3-4)

The Rams actually called a 44 year old Brett Favre in the last week to try and drag him out of his rocking chair and back onto the football field. Hilarious! In related news, Rob Chudzinski was spotted pounding on the tomb of Otto Graham on Wednesday. I mean come on Jeff Fischer, I can smell the desperation from here. Favre will be fielding these calls until the day he forgets what a phone ringing means. So, you know, a few more years. Seahawks win 30-6.

On to the main event/purple bloodbath and the return of Christian Ponder! That's right folks, things are getting fucky, and fast...

GREEN BAY PACKERS (4-2) at MINNESOTA VIKINGS (1-5)

Things have officially come full circle in the Vikings Quarterback Carnival as this week thee Vikings will have their 5th different QB depth chart in 7 weeks of play. This has gotten comically bad and downright embarrassing, and, much like a horrific car crash, it is impossible for me to look away.

Maybe Freeman has a concussion. I wouldn't be surprised considering he got hit during nearly every drop back in the Giants game. I also can't help but think had Freeman scored a couple TD's and thrown for a respectable completion percentage last week, we would have never heard about these concussion symptoms.

So now it's Christian Ponder's turn to get thrown to the wolves. He says he plans to play relaxed (good luck behind that offensive line) and that he has nothing to lose (except a few brain cells). I agree with him there. His future as an NFL starter goes no farther than Sunday night at this point. He had better take it one play at a time and find a way to enjoy every second.

Good luck, Mr. Ponder, I'll be rooting for you.

Let's take a look at some positive(s) and negatives from the Giants game. As always, the positive(s) first.

Positives:

-Good Marcus Sherels  He was the only reason the team avoided being shut out by a terrible Giants team. He has a little swerve on those punt returns and can be fun to watch at times.

Negatives:

-Bad Marcus Sherels  The wind might still be knocked out of him after that sure pick six bounced right off his chest. That pass hit him right between the 3 and the 5. DOINK. On the ensuing punt, the usually sure-handed Sherels managed to fumble without anyone laying a hand on him. DERP.

-The Offensive Line  I hope they are all playing hurt, because they can't pass block or run block. They are constantly getting pushed backwards into the quarterback. It's downright B-R-U-T-A-L. It's actually hard to watch unless you figure out how to embrace the suck, as I have.

-Josh Freeman  That is just about as inaccurate as I have ever seen a QB be during a regular season game he started for an NFL team. He was terrible, and even though it's hard to look good lying on your back for four quarters, I thought he left at least 10-15 easy completions for big time yards out on the field. Embrace the suck, people! Your heart won't hurt so much in the morning.

Three Keys To A Vikings Victory:

Key #1: Get Pressure On Mr. Rodgers!

You need to force him into speedy deliveries if you want to have a chance. If Rodgers is allowed 5 seconds to stand in the pocket unmolested, he will carve up the secondary no matter who he is throwing to. The Vikings only chance is to constantly harass Rodgers and even then there is a big mountain to climb.

Key #2: Convert Third Downs

The Vikings need to take advantage of an average Packers defense and make sure they are getting into 3rd and manageable. Anything less than 3rd & 5 and the Vikings offense needs to find a way to stay on the field. Conversely, the defense need to find a way to get off the field when they get the Packers into a 3rd & long. If Rodgers starts stringing together 7 and 8 minute drives, its going to be a long night for the guys in purple.

Key #3: Red Zone Trips Need To End In Touchdowns

Every time the Vikings offense manages to get inside the 20, they need to finish with 7 points, not 3. The Vikings as a whole are going to have to play a perfect game and get some bounces to have a chance to win. As Leslie Frazier pointed out a couple weeks ago, points are important to being a good football team. Using that dynamic theory, I can extrapolate out the need for touchdowns over field goals, ya dig? 

Two Matchups To Watch:

Matchup #1:  Jared Allen vs. David Bakhtiari

The rookie Persian left tackle has managed to stop driving his white Mercedes to various car washes long enough to produce a pretty solid season. Jared Allen appears as though father time has caught up with him a bit. He isn't getting around the edge as quickly as in past seasons. However, Jared has a long history of abusing Aaron Rodgers. He had his career best game against the Packers and Rodgers in 2012, when he tallied 4.5 sacks. He will need to get at least 3 on Sunday if the Vikings want a chance to win. 

Matchup #2:  Aaron Rodgers vs. Xavier Rhodes

 

The rookie corner had an overall positive game against the Giants, but he has never faced a quarterback quite like this guy. Rodgers is going to try to pick on all of our cornerbacks, but I see him coming after the rookie specifically, early and often. This will be a true test for the rookie, and it will either be a truly humbling experience or, hopefully, an awakening and an arrival. 

Mike's All-Purpose Flour Lock Of The Week:

Jared Allen, Defensive End, YOUR Minnesota Vikings

I've been talking about pressure a lot, and I think Jared turns back the clock this weekend and abuses the Packers rookie left tackle. 4 tackles/3 sacks/1 FF. 

Final Takes

Packer week is always fun, whether from 1-5 or 5-1.

I feel the pain of my fellow Vikings fans and don't get me wrong, a few years ago a 1-5 start would have put me into a six week bender, while I took my sadness out on my loved ones and cats daily. It was, needless to say, not a healthy mindset. It is hard to find bright spots when mired in the middle of such a sad, pathetic season, and from a football standpoint, there really are none. No need to sugar coat things: The Vikings suck. They suck so bad it is almost funny.

Embrace the suck, accept the failure, watch on Sunday and have a couple laughs at the complete ineptitude of our beloved Purple. As fans who aren't on the payroll, we are allowed to view this disaster as somewhat comical. Its better than waking up every day miserable and pissed off.

Christian Ponder has said all the right things this week, and I think this game is going to be much closer than it would have been had the Vikings trotted out Josh Freeman again. I actually think Ponder is going to be decisive and play his best game of the year by far.

I also think Aaron Rodgers is going to carve up this secondary like an early Thanksgiving turkey. Right now Aaron Rodgers is thinking, "How many points do I have to score this week to make Greg Jennings wish he didn't exist?" Is it 40? Maybe 50? Nice attempt at back-tracking this week by the way Greg, but I'm afraid it's a little too late for that. Rodgers is here to send a personal and professional message this week. This is going to be a fun game to watch, one way or the other.

Final Score
Green Bay Packers: 34
Minnesota Vikings: 26

Ya gotta love Packer week.

There you have it, football fans!  A positive attitude and a negative result.  Embrace the suck.  It could always be worse: You could be from Wisconsin.

For more Mike Otto be sure to give him a follow on Twitter (@SwervinTaters).  The line between sad & entertaining runs awfully thin on a Sunday night.  He can also be found right here on Newest Industry contributing to our Trendsetting column.

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