First place... Ponder that.
Hello again, football fans and welcome to Mike Otto's Ten & Six: Week 5!
Hello again, football fans and welcome to Mike Otto's Ten & Six: Week 5!
If this is your first time checking
out the blog, Mike Otto is our resident football expert. He's a
diehard Vikings fan in the best sense. So far, his optimism has been
rewarded. Before we get too deep into the Vikings though, Mikey's
gonna make his picks for Week 5. In case you missed it, we posted
Mike's pick for Thursday's Cardinals/Rams game on our Facebook page.
He called the upset and is currently sitting at 41-39 for the season.
Mr. Otto, whatcha got to say this
week?
Week 4 is
officially in the books and the Minnesota Vikings sit atop the NFC
North. If the playoffs started today the Vikings would be third seed
and play a game at home. God it feels good to write that.
Speaking of winning
records, my picks went 10-5 last week, a nice bounce back from a
crummy Week 3. Let's get right into this week's action!
Philadelphia
(3-1) at Pittsburgh (1-2)
Philly is 3-1 and they are winning ugly. The only thing uglier than
the Eagles victories is the walrus mustache on Andy Reid's upper lip.
The Steelers look old and slow. It's obvious they are running out of
energy in the 2nd half of games – especially on the
defensive side of the ball. Regardless, I think Big Ben Rapistberger
gropes his way to a victory this week. Steelers win 27-17.
Green Bay (2-2) at
Indianapolis (1-2)
The Packers escaped with a victory at home against the Saints. The
offense still looked somewhat lost to me. They have no real
run/pass balance and are one Aaron Rodgers injury away from being the
worst team in the NFC North. Now, I'd never root for a guy to get
hurt, but god it would be great if he got hurt. Not career-ending,
just 3 or 4 weeks so I can watch the Packers' season get thrown in
the toilet... where it belongs. Packers with 24-13.
Cleveland (0-4)
at New York Giants (2-2)
Poor Cleveland. You can't learn to be this bad, you have to be born
with it. The Giants could put 10 players on the field the entire
game and still win. To make Browns games more interesting they
should be awarded a touchdown if they win the coin toss.
My point being, the Giants would have to consciously try to lose this
game. Giants win 31-13.
Atlanta (4-0) at
Washington (2-2)
If Washington's defense was even half as good as their offense they'd
be a playoff team. Alas, they are not and their defense is gonna get
ripped to shreds this week. RG III is dynamic, but not dynamic
enough to win this one all alone (like he did last week). Falcons
win 35-24
Miami (1-3) at
Cincinnati (3-1)
Cincy is the best team... in Ohio. Ok, so that's not a tough contest
to win, but it's still something! Don't taunt the Bengals or the
ghost of Chris Collinsworth will come for you. Chris Collinsworth is
dead, right? Aww, whatever.
Miami is a gritty team and better than I expected, but I think A.J.
Green and “The Red Menace” Andy Dalton are clicking right now.
They lead their Bengals to a 21-17 victory at home.
Baltimore (3-1) at
Kansas City (1-3)
There aren't many guys like Ray Lewis in the league. By that I mean
he's the only current NFL superstar who once tried to skip town in
his buddy's trunk. Do you think there was enough room in that trunk
to practice his patented entry dance? Honestly, though, I have a ton of
respect for the way Ray Lewis, Ed Reed & company play ball.
I can't say the same for Matt Cassel and his squad of dipshits. I
wanted to believe the Chiefs could be relevant, but, unfortunately,
they are just like the city they play in – boring and irrelevant.
Ravens win 27-20
Seattle (2-2) at
Carolina (1-3)
Killa Cam and the Panthers suffered a demoralizing defeat last week.
I fully expect them to fold up like a child's pop-up book.
Seachickens quarterback Russell Wilson gets a chance to redeem
himself against a suspect Panthers secondary. The Seahawks are built
to win on the road and I think they do this week, 20-13.
Chicago (3-1) at
Jacksonville (1-3)
Jay Cutler is a petulant little bitch, a very large man-child without
the ability to put his ego aside for even a short amount of time. If
I were Mike Tice and Cutler walked away from me I would have fucking
choke-slammed him. Hey, Jay, I know all your teammates smile to the
camera and say they respect you, but real men don't care for your
angsty teenager attitude. This is football, so grow a pair and learn
to accept a little criticism. You aren't perfect, as I'm sure any
woman who has dated you quickly found out.
The Jags will lose this game, but god I hope they knock Cutler around
a little. Bears take it 28-17.
Denver (2-2) at New
England (2-2)
Peyton Manning vs. Tom Brady. The Forehead vs. The Hair.
Yes, two of the great NFL QB's face off, but it just doesn't have the
luster it used to when Peyton was still with the Colts.
The Broncos defense appears to have taken a step back compared to
last year. Maybe they have taken the foot off the gas because their
quarterback isn't a glorified fullback this year. That D needs to be
in top form in order to have a chance against the Patriots. Pats win
35-27
Buffalo (2-2) at
San Francisco (3-1)
San Francisco is coming off an easy victory and should have another
one this week against Buffalo. The Niners installed a Wildcat
offense last week with their athletic backup QB Colin Kaepernick and
it worked like gang-busters (half the time).
The Bills are average and it seems like they always will be. What a
bunch of greasy bastards. San Fran wins 27-13.
San Diego (3-1) at
New Orleans (0-4)
I feel bad for Drew Brees. The Saints defense can't help him out at
all. They are constantly playing from behind, meaning the offense
has no chance to run the ball. Brees is throwing 50 times a game and
he simply can't do it himself. I'm pretty sure there are a good
number of high school teams around the country that could score the
the Saints defense.
This plays right into the Chargers' hands, as I'm pretty sure Norv
Turner is as smart as a high school sophomore. Chargers win 35-28.
Houston (4-0) at
New York Jets (2-2)
The Jets win the award for “Most Fucked Up Team In The NFL” by a
long shot! Rex Ryan is just in fucking denial if he thinks they are
going to turn this around.
My prediction? The Jets will finish the season 3-13. Mark Sanchez &
Tim Tebow will both be playing for different teams next year.You are
all fat and doomed! Texans win easy 42-7.
Boom! Now, on to your FIRST PLACE Minnesota Vikings.
Another week, another Vikings victory.
So far this year The Vikings are showing you every way there is to win a game, which is a nice change of pace from the usual model of every way there is to lose a game.
Last week The Purple used two special teams touchdowns to dispatch the Motor City Kitties.That special teams coordinator should be dispatched himself. All I know is if I failed that miserably at stocking groceries for two weeks in a row I wouldn't deserve to wear the smock any longer. Detroit, fire that goon!
All Percy Harvin does is make plays. He is the heart of this Vikings team right now. If Percy Harvin were glorp, he'd be the best glorp in the league. What's glorp, you ask? Use your imagination, jerks! Just know he'd be the best of it.
Happy birthday, Marcus Sherels! He turned twenty-something and celebrated it with a punt return TD. Always good to see a former Gopher find success as they've seen so little in their young lives. (Ha! Always good to get a Gophers jab in there).
Annnyywhoo, things are good in Purple Country. We're 3-1, top of the division, Anything Is Possibllleee!
Let's take a look at some positives and negatives from last week. As always, we'll start with the positives:
-Gotta start with Special Teams: Not just Percy & Marcus, but every one of the blockers that made those returns happen. You couldn't draw up either of those returns any better.
-The Defense! 9th overall in the league? Held Megatron to 5 catches for 54 yards? Lions only got in the end zone once (and that one was questionable)? You can't be talking about the Vikings defense!?! Oh, but WE ARE and it's SO SWEET! Big props to the linebackers, in particular Jasper Brinkley, who is staying on the field and making the plays he should make. Honorable Mention to Marvin Mitchell, who has had consistently gritty performances filling in for the injured Erin Henderson.
-Yo, Adrian! Yes, All Day looked to be back to his old self last Sunday. The only thing we've yet to see is his breakaway speed. Maybe we will this weekend. Regardless, it's good to see the powerhouse that is Adrian Peterson thriving again.
And a couple negatives:
-The Offense: Christian Ponder and the Vikings offense couldn't get into the end zone. Against a mediocre Lions defense that's a little troubling. However, the offense didn't turn the ball over and one could say they've done exactly what they needed to do in the three Vikings victories. That being said, I'd like to see a little more.
-John Carlson: The $25 million dollar free agent signing got his first catch as a Viking - a screen pass for a loss of 2 yards. Money well spent.
Boom! Now, on to your FIRST PLACE Minnesota Vikings.
Another week, another Vikings victory.
So far this year The Vikings are showing you every way there is to win a game, which is a nice change of pace from the usual model of every way there is to lose a game.
Last week The Purple used two special teams touchdowns to dispatch the Motor City Kitties.That special teams coordinator should be dispatched himself. All I know is if I failed that miserably at stocking groceries for two weeks in a row I wouldn't deserve to wear the smock any longer. Detroit, fire that goon!
All Percy Harvin does is make plays. He is the heart of this Vikings team right now. If Percy Harvin were glorp, he'd be the best glorp in the league. What's glorp, you ask? Use your imagination, jerks! Just know he'd be the best of it.
Happy birthday, Marcus Sherels! He turned twenty-something and celebrated it with a punt return TD. Always good to see a former Gopher find success as they've seen so little in their young lives. (Ha! Always good to get a Gophers jab in there).
Annnyywhoo, things are good in Purple Country. We're 3-1, top of the division, Anything Is Possibllleee!
Let's take a look at some positives and negatives from last week. As always, we'll start with the positives:
-Gotta start with Special Teams: Not just Percy & Marcus, but every one of the blockers that made those returns happen. You couldn't draw up either of those returns any better.
-The Defense! 9th overall in the league? Held Megatron to 5 catches for 54 yards? Lions only got in the end zone once (and that one was questionable)? You can't be talking about the Vikings defense!?! Oh, but WE ARE and it's SO SWEET! Big props to the linebackers, in particular Jasper Brinkley, who is staying on the field and making the plays he should make. Honorable Mention to Marvin Mitchell, who has had consistently gritty performances filling in for the injured Erin Henderson.
-Yo, Adrian! Yes, All Day looked to be back to his old self last Sunday. The only thing we've yet to see is his breakaway speed. Maybe we will this weekend. Regardless, it's good to see the powerhouse that is Adrian Peterson thriving again.
And a couple negatives:
-The Offense: Christian Ponder and the Vikings offense couldn't get into the end zone. Against a mediocre Lions defense that's a little troubling. However, the offense didn't turn the ball over and one could say they've done exactly what they needed to do in the three Vikings victories. That being said, I'd like to see a little more.
-John Carlson: The $25 million dollar free agent signing got his first catch as a Viking - a screen pass for a loss of 2 yards. Money well spent.
TENNESSEE TITANS (1-3) at MINNESOTA VIKINGS (3-1)
Three Keys To A Vikings Victory:
Key #1: Contain Chris Jonson.
Shut him down early. Jake Locker is injured and Matt Hasselbeck has entered the "Brad Johnson Stage" of his career. He won't be able to win a game by himself. Shut down CJ(No)K early in the game and the day will be purple.
Key #2: Win The Turnover Battle Again.
Key #2: Win The Turnover Battle Again.
The Vikings have created more turnovers than they have given up in each of the last two weeks. In this guy's opinion, turnover difference is the most indicative state of wins and losses. Have another plus in the turnover column and it will go a long way toward a Viking victory.
Key #3: Score A Touchdown The First Chance You Get.
Key #3: Score A Touchdown The First Chance You Get.
Put any questions about the offense to rest right away. Also, Tennessee has a lot of quit in them. Get up on them early and the Titans may get into "here we go again" mode.
Matchups To Watch:
Matchup #1: Adrian Peterson vs. Chris Johnson
There was a time when you could argue about which of these two guys was the better running back. After one Chris Johnson tantrum holdout and two stinky seasons , those days are gone. He has been a whiny, under-performing little bitch since he signed that fat contract. More than likely, whichever running back has the better day will lead their team to victory. My bet is on the best running back in the league, Adrian Peterson.
There was a time when you could argue about which of these two guys was the better running back. After one Chris Johnson tantrum holdout and two stinky seasons , those days are gone. He has been a whiny, under-performing little bitch since he signed that fat contract. More than likely, whichever running back has the better day will lead their team to victory. My bet is on the best running back in the league, Adrian Peterson.
Matchup #2: Matt Hasselbeck vs. Antoine Winfield
Grey beard vs. grey beard. Hasselbeck seems like the kind of noodle-armed quarterback the cunning Winfield could jump a route on. The Vikings only have about 10 years of Hasselbeck film to study. So study that film and jump those routes! I know you still got it in you, 'Toine!
Mike's All Purpose Flour Lock Of The Week:
Grey beard vs. grey beard. Hasselbeck seems like the kind of noodle-armed quarterback the cunning Winfield could jump a route on. The Vikings only have about 10 years of Hasselbeck film to study. So study that film and jump those routes! I know you still got it in you, 'Toine!
Mike's All Purpose Flour Lock Of The Week:
Christian Ponder
CP7 is gonna have a bounce back week against the Titans. Look for over 200 yards and a couple TD's from the kid.
CP7 is gonna have a bounce back week against the Titans. Look for over 200 yards and a couple TD's from the kid.
Final Takes:
The Vikings need to pile up as many wins as possible in the early part of this season and they can't afford to lose anymore games against teams they should beat. The Titans are definitely one of those teams.
Christian Ponder should be able to take advantage of a suspect Titans secondary and if Adrian gets to that second level he should be able to break one.
If the Vikings want to be considered "for real," they need to continue on the winning path, especially against sub-par teams they face at home. A loss won't derail their season, but it will knock their relevance down a few pegs.
The Titans are garbage and the Vikings should treat them as they are, the NFL equivalent of a poop stool, and shit them out of the Metrodome this Sunday.
FINAL SCORE:
Minnesota Vikings: 27
Tennessee Titans: 17
Vikings dominate on their way to another home victory. WOOOOO!!
Blam! There's the Mike Otto take that we know you were all looking for! Vikings staying in the driver's seat in the NFC North.
For more of Mike Otto, be sure to give him a follow on Twitter (@SwervinTaters). At the very least, give him a follow on Sundays. Oh, and make sure your phone doesn't vibrate every time he tweets. He's killed batteries before.
For more of this blog, you can give us a follow on Twitter (@NewestIndustry1). It'll help you stay up on all our posts. We also have a Facebook page here. Swing by and give us a "like" and we'll personally send Mike to your house to watch a Vikings game with you (Note: Mike is unaware of this deal and is unlikely to fulfill this request).
If the Vikings want to be considered "for real," they need to continue on the winning path, especially against sub-par teams they face at home. A loss won't derail their season, but it will knock their relevance down a few pegs.
The Titans are garbage and the Vikings should treat them as they are, the NFL equivalent of a poop stool, and shit them out of the Metrodome this Sunday.
FINAL SCORE:
Minnesota Vikings: 27
Tennessee Titans: 17
Vikings dominate on their way to another home victory. WOOOOO!!
Blam! There's the Mike Otto take that we know you were all looking for! Vikings staying in the driver's seat in the NFC North.
For more of Mike Otto, be sure to give him a follow on Twitter (@SwervinTaters). At the very least, give him a follow on Sundays. Oh, and make sure your phone doesn't vibrate every time he tweets. He's killed batteries before.
For more of this blog, you can give us a follow on Twitter (@NewestIndustry1). It'll help you stay up on all our posts. We also have a Facebook page here. Swing by and give us a "like" and we'll personally send Mike to your house to watch a Vikings game with you (Note: Mike is unaware of this deal and is unlikely to fulfill this request).
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