Hello again, football fans! Welcome back to Ten & Six With Mike Otto!
This week Mike stops by to break down Sunday's game between our beloved Minnesota Vikings and the Seattle Seahawks. For those who are new to the Ten & Six routine, Mike is a lifelong (read: long-suffering & slightly delusional) Vikings fan. Each week he stops by Newest Industry to break down the week's game and to give us his professional opinion on the rest of the league's slate of games.
So far this season Mike is sporting a record of 77-59 picking games. Not too shabby, but still a little too shabby.
Mikey boy, what do you think?
Week 9 is here! It was a fantastic week of action last week with lots of close games and exciting finishes.
The Browns/Chargers game could have easily been mistaken for an Ivy League football matchup, let's say... Brown vs. Vasser? Just kidding. Sadly, that was an actual NFL game. Hey, Philip Rivers! The only team 6 points will beat is the Detroit Tigers in the World Series!
I predicted the Browns would lose and they won, and yes, I honored my promise to eat some cat food if I predicted a Browns game incorrectly. The joke's on you, though, because Wellness brand indoor wet food formula promotes lean muscle mass development and a healthy, shiny coat! The promise to eat cat food every time I predict a Browns game wrong stands for the rest of the season!
(Editor's Note: Michael does have a disturbingly shiny coat.)
My picks went 8-6 and the Vikings got destroyed... overall a pretty average week for my hopes and dreams.
But I don't think the sky is falling in terms of The Purple. There have been some troubling trends in the last 3 games, but nothing that can't be corrected.
The Vikings got 5 wins in the first half of the season. If they duplicate that in the second half they'll be in the playoffs. More on The Purple later, though. Now on to the picks!
Arizona (4-4) at Green Bay (5-3)
The Cards are in a free fall and are in real danger of a sub-.500 season unless they turn it around immediately! The question is if they have enough fight left in them. The offense obviously does not. The defense, on the other hand, does have some pride left even after being dismantled by the 49ers on Monday night.
Jordy Nelson has been slowed by a hamstring injury all week and his effectiveness on Sunday will be questionable at best. Cards make this a close game, but still lose 24-17.
Detroit (3-4) at Jacksonville (1-6)
Matt Stafford finally broke out of his season-long funk and Blaine Gabbert can't seem to shake the fact that he is, indeed, Blaine Gabbert. It's a harsh reality waking up every morning and being Blaine Gabbert.
Just move the Jags to L.A. already. Nobody cares that they exist right now and that's just kinda sad. Lions win 31-13.
Chicago (6-1) at Tennessee (3-5)
The Bears escaped with a victory last week, but in doing so showed they are definitely beatable and prone to the occasional crappy game.
Matt Hasselbeck and Chris Johnson have the Titans playing decent football again and I say, "Good for you, you dumb sumbitches!" I'd like to see Chris Johnson and Matt Hasselbeck enter a children's spelling bee. They'd both be out in the first round. Bears win a close one 21-19.
Denver (4-3) at Cincinnati (3-4)
The SECOND I wrote, "Peyton Manning should have retired" he became an MVP candidate.
This week Lil' Peytie Manny faces off against Most Valuable Snack candidate, Andy "Crystallized Ginger" Dalton. Time to sit back and watch a real NFL QB with normal skin pigment, you fucking soulless, ginger abomination. Broncos win easy 27-17.
Carolina (1-6) at Washington (3-5)
Cam can't win close games. Bob III wishes he could play the Vikings every week.
Is Bob III staring his future in the eyes this week? Will he hit the same wretched sophomore slump next year?
All legitimate questions and all questions I don't give two shits about. 'Skins win 28-16.
Baltimore (5-2) at Cleveland (2-6)
The Browns are coming off a pathetic victory over the Chargers. Rarely can you qualify a victory as "pathetic," but in this case, I think it fits perfectly.
Trent Richardson looks like the real deal, but I'm afraid he can't beat the Ravens alone.
Unless Joe Flacco craps the bed, the Ray Lewis-less Ravens will win easily. I think Flacco does take a baby crap, but not a big enough crap to lose. Ravens win 26-20.
Miami (4-3) at Indianapolis (4-3)
Florida Philip Rivers vs. Chuckstrong!
Reggie Wayne is a beast and is making Andrew Luck's rookie campaign look good. Oh, the things I would do to see Reggie Wayne in a purple Jersey!
Oh, the things I would do to Ryan Tannehill's wife... I'd tell her to hit the road 'cause I got the best girlfriend on the planet! It's just too bad she hates football and won't read this.
Oh well. Fuck off, Mrs. Tannehill! Colts win a close one 23-20.
(Editor's Note: The opinions of Mr. Otto regarding Mrs. Tannehill do not reflect the opinion of all of us here at Newest Industry. Just sayin', Mrs. Tannehill.)
Buffalo (3-4) at Houston (6-1)
Boy, this is a tough call. Hmmm... Do I pick the worthless pile of garbage team or the 2nd best team in the NFL?
Do I take Ryan Fitz-quack-trick or the Bald Beast, Matt Schaub?
Let the Bills start the game with 14 points and they still lose. Maybe even 21. This will be a blowout. Texans win 38-9
Tampa Bay (3-4) at Oakland (3-4)
Two different types of pirates face off this week and we know one thing: Every yaarrr-d will count.
Sorry about the bad pirate pun, I just care so little about this game. In fact, I flipped a coin to pick this winner. It landed heads, so the Bucs win. Pick your own damn score, jerks!
Pittsburgh (4-3) at New York Giants (6-2)
Finally, a game with a little intrigue! Should be a hard fought matchup.
If the Steelers could do us all a favor and keep Victor Cruz out of the end zone so I don't have to watch that fucking terrible salsa dance, I know I'd appreciate it. Every week with this shit! I saw an E:60 that entirely about that stupid fucking salsa dance!
(Editor's Note: This was actually the most journalistic E:60 ever. For real, that show is a fucking disgrace.)
I think the Giants win, but, god, I hope Victor Cruz isn't part of the celebration. Final score 31-26.
Dallas (3-4) at Atlanta (7-0)
The Falcons are the only undefeated team left in the NFL. The Cowboys are one of many NFL teams clinging to hope that they aren't terrible.
The Cowboys need this one bad. The Falcons could take it or leave it. Honestly, I think a half-interested Falcons team is still better than a fully engaged Cowboys squad.
Sorry, Cowboys fans, but you lose this one 31-21. It's going to be interesting to see how the world reacts to Lil' Dezzy Bryant going into the stands and punching Matt Ryan's mom.
Philadelphia (3-4) at New Orleans (2-5)
Mike Vick's on the hot seat. Andy Reid's on the hot seat. The National Wildlife Association just put that thing on Andy Reid's upper lip onto the Endangered Species list.
If Vick can't get healthy against this Saints defense he couldn't get healthy against a defense comprised of the Sisters Of The Poor.
I think Vick and Reid make it a close came and do enough to save their jobs for now, but ultimately lose this game 35-27.
And now, on to YOUR Minnesota Vikings!
MINNESOTA VIKINGS (5-3) AT SEATTLE SEAHAWKS (4-4)
There was much hand-wringing, hemming, and hawing among Vikings fans after last Thursday's disappointing loss to the Bucs. While there have been a couple disturbing trends, I saw nothing that wasn't correctable.
At the beginning of the year I predicted an output of 20 TD's, 16 INT's, and right around 3,000 passing yards for quarterback Christian Ponder. Well, halfway through the season he as 10 TD's, 7 INT's, and just over 1,700 passing yards. All right about where you would expect a QB with only 19 starts to be. At this point CP7 has an 85.6 QB rating. Not too fucking shabby!
Has he completed many passes deep down the field? No. To be fair, though, the Vikings "deep threat" receivers have left a bit to be desired. Jerome Simpson has yet to get in a rhythm and Devin Aromashadu just isn't that good.
So I think everyone needs to ease off Ponder a little. He's not going to turn into a Pro-Bowler overnight.
All that being said, there are some players on this squad worthy of scrutiny and criticism, which brings us to our positives and negatives. As usual, we'll start with the positives (though kind of heavy on the negatives this time around).
-Adrian Peterson: Showed that breakaway speed for the first time this year and really looks like he never had major knee surgery. He'd be Comeback Player Of The Year if it weren't for Peytie Manny.
-Harrison Smith: The rookie continues his impressive first year efforts with a 13 tackle game. He really looks like a future Pro-Bowler at safety, which is rare for someone so young. Big credit to Rick Spielman for a spectacular draft in his first year as "The Guy." Harrison has a nose for the ball and he is showing it on a weekly basis.
And, unfortunately, the negatives.
-The Linebackers (Jasper Brinkley in particular): The run defense has been getting gouged in recent weeks primarily because the linebackers haven't been controlling their gaps and have been failing to get off their blocks. Chad Greenway leads the NFL in tackles with 81, and, although he needs to work on his consistency, Erin Henderson makes plays in the backfield.
Jasper Brinkley is THE ONLY middle linebacker in the NFL without a tackle for a loss. He looks slow and overwhelmed on running plays and he often bites on play-action passes. This needs to get better!
-Chris Kluwe: He has flat out sucked the last two weeks. You only have one job, Kluwe, and you're fucking it up right now. Maybe Coach Frazier should pull a Childress and bring some othe rpunters in to workout next week if this pathetic streak continues.
(Editor's Note: We vow to spend every waking hour trying to figure out how to work the term "pulling a Childress" into everyday life. Bear with us.)
-Chris Cook Broke His Arm!: This really hurts. It forces Antoine Winfield and his 36 year old body to play more downs. Not only that, Chris was our most physical corner. Suddenly there is an incredible amount of pressure on rookie corner Josh Robinson. It'll be interesting to see how he responds.
-Play Calling: There comes a point in every season where adjustments need to be made. I want to see more parity in how Bill Musgrave calls the early offensive possessions for the Vikings. Call some four-wide quick slants early in the game and build Ponder's confidence! Help him get into a rhythm. Everyone loves the Percy Harvin screen, but come on! Musgrave's dialing that one up a bit too often.
Three Keys To A Vikings Victory:
Key #1: Make Russell Wilson beat you.
If the Vikings run defense does not improve this week they will lose this game as they have lost the last two. Russell Wilson and the Seattle Seachickens have the 31st ranked passing offense in the league. Not to say they can't strike through the air, but you'd rather have that passing attack try to beat you than Marshawn Lynch and their 8th ranked running game.
Key #2: Hang onto the ball!
The Vikings need a turnover-free game if they want to win. No interceptions, no fumbles, no bumbles, no stumbles! At the beginning of the year the Vikings were playing confident-yet-cautious football. They had very few turnovers and... what do you know, they were 4-1! The time is now to turn around the turnover battle.
Key #3: Build a time machine and go get E.J. Henderson-circa 2007.
Jasper Brinkley suddenly looks just as bad as I feared at the beginning of the year. It seems to me like it took teams a few weeks to notice something on tape involving Brinkley's technique or positioning, but now that they have, it's being fully exploited. He has been a complete non-factor and looks like he could be the worst middle linebacker in the NFL. OHH... I SWEARS, BRINKLEY... YOU BEST START MAKING SOME TACKLES!!!
Two Matchups To Watch:
Matchup #1: Adrian Peterson vs. Marshawn Lynch
Though they won't be facing each other directly, the success or failure of these two players will greatly affect the outcome of this game.
If Marshawn Lynch gets into "Beast Mode," this is going to be a long day. Also, Adrian Peterson having a big day is imperative to a Vikings victory. The Seahawks have a good secondary and the only chance Ponder has to beat them is if they play-actoin is working.
Fuck, that's a lot of "if's." IF a kangaroo starts at running back for the Seahawks they are going to be tough to beat.
Matchups #2: Hypothetical Kangaroo Running Back vs. The Vikings Defense
As we all know, kangaroos are big, fast, and don't like being tackled. Try to limit his touches. The less the kangaroo gets his weird little mitts on the ball the better. If the kangaroo does, in fact, get loose, there is no hope. Just let him score. At least you won't be getting any angry calls from PETA this week.
Mike's All Purpose Flour Lock Of The Week:
Adrian Peterson, running back, YOUR Minnesota Vikings
You guessed it! AP goes for 125 yards and a TD. Here's hoping for a big day from All Day.
FINAL TAKES
The Vikings could win this game if they play their best football. They have had 10 days now to watch film and practice in an effort to fix the mistakes that have occurred these last two games.
If Ponder can be a game manager and not turn the ball over they have a chance to win.
If Jasper Brinkley shows up at all they have a chance.
The Vikings are not a great road team right now and playing in Seattle will be a lot to overcome.
The Seahawks match up very well against the Vikings as both teams run very similar offensive gameplans. We'll all know who does it better after Sunday.
Ultimately, I think the Vikings lose a heart breaker to the Seahawks on Sunday, but still not a back breaker. Last I checked the Vikings were 1-0 in the division!
5 of the Vikings final 8 opponents are NFC North contests. Win or lose on Sunday, the fate of the Vikings season will be decided in December.
FINAL SCORE:
Seattle Seahawks: 16
Minnesota Vikings: 14
BOOOOOO!
Well there you have it everybody, a healthy bit of skepticism from Mr. Otto regarding his beloved Purple.
For more of Mike's thoughts on the Vikings, Cat Power, and cars exploding outside of his house be sure to give him a follow on Twitter (@SwervinTaters). No, really. Cars blew up outside of his house.
Newest Industry also has a Twitter page (@NewestIndustry1) which you should probably give a follow to stay up on the work of all of our contributors. More importantly, we have a Facebook page here. Please, stop by and give that one a "like" if only because you know Golden Tate caught that pass legally.
No comments:
Post a Comment