Well hello once again, football fans! Super
It's been a long season, but we're finally here. After a week off for rest, we're honored to be joined by great football mind Michael Otto. If you doubt his credentials, check the web for another pigskin prognosticator who picked the Vikings to finish 10-6.
This year's Super Bowl (as you may have heard) features the San Francisco 49ers and the Baltimore Ravens. They are coached by two brothers separated by 15 months (Jim & John Harbaugh). There's also a Vikings connection to this year's game, with the Ravens suiting up ex-Vikes Matt Birk & Bryant McKinnie and a certain greatest wide receiver ever suiting up for the 49ers, the one, the only, Randy Moss.
Mike's been reading his scouting reports and breaking down game film all in an attempt to predict how this year's game will play out.
So, Michael, thoughts?
Randy! Randy! Randy! Randy!
It's the Super Bowl, homeboy! This is Ten & Six!
For the first time ever, the NFL will have blood brothers John & Jim Harbaugh facing off against each other's respective teams in the biggest football game of the year. I think the Harbaugh Bros should switch sides before the game and see if anybody notices the difference. Ray Lewis would be overheard muttering (through uncontrollable sobs), "That don't smell like our Harbaugh."
In another NFL first, Norv Turner and his brother Glorv Turner became the first brother tandem to run the train on Dan Snyder during Super Bowl weekend.
(Editor's Note: That may not be true. Then again, Glorv is an enabler...)
The Ray Lewis Farewell Tour has reached its conclusion. Will he dance and cry off into the sunset? Or will he be forced to ride home in the trunk of his buddy's car, head hung in shame, suit stained with the blood of his opponents? Let's not forget, Ray already has a Super Bowl ring, while another aging former superstar on the other sideline, Randy Moss, does not.
Randy is trying to get his first ring and this might be his last chance to do it as a starting wide receiver. I'll be rooting for Harbaugh West and Randy Moss come Sunday. Ray Lewis and Haurbaugh East: you can't simply stab your way into everyone's heart.
Three Keys To A Ravens Victory:
Key #1: Force turnovers
You have to find a way to negate Colin Kaepernick's incredible athletic ability and the best way to do that is to force the kid into some mistakes. He's essentially a rookie quarterback playing in the Super Bowl. Even though he didn't show any nerves against the Falcons it's very possible he will have some jitters come Sunday.
If the Ravens can force a couple of interceptions or fumbles they'll be hoisting the Lombardi Trophy come Sunday night.
Key #2: Bend but don't break
The Niners are going to move the ball between the 20's, they simply have too many weapons not to. If the Ravens defense can hold the Niners to field goals it will be much easier for Joe Flacco to take control of the game through long, methodical drives that end in touchdowns.
I don't think the Ravens can win a shootout against the Niners, so it will be important to keep the score relatively low in the early going.
Key #3: Feed the ball to Ray Rice
The Niners have lost games this year when their opponents play more physically and win the battle in the trenches. The Ravens need to hand the ball to Ray Rice. They need to throw it to him. Pitch it, flick it, nip it, hit it! All of it to "Ruh-Roh!" Ray Rice.
Boss the Niners Front 7 around a little, get them on their heels early in this game, and the tide will undoubtedly turn in the Ravens favor.
Three Keys To A Niners Victory:
Key #1: Unleash Colin Kaepernick!
The Niners have the most electrifying player in the NFL. Harbaugh West needs to put the young man in a position to succeed based on his superior athletic ability. There's no point in complicating things now. A relatively simple offensive scheme coupled with Kaepernick's impressive size, speed, & downfield vision have got the Niners this far and you best the ride the horse that got you here.
Key #2: Spread the ball around
The Niners have the unique advantage of 5 solid options for running or receiving success on any given play. Between Michael Crabtree, Randy Moss, Vernon Davis and Frank Gore, one is bound to be open. On the off chance they are all covered, Kaepernick can take off and burn you all by himself.
Very few teams can put 5 players on the field at the same time who must all be accounted for. The Niners need to play to that strength to spread the Ravens defense out and keep them off balance.
Key #3: Perform a pagan ritual sacrifice before kickoff
The football gods must be satisfied! Blood must be spilled! Heads must be ceremoniously lopped off! Stick to the books and sacrifice the douche-iest current figure in all of sports.
Sorry, Joe Buck, but you had a good run. You rode your father's coattails to the pinnacle of sports announcing and now we need that head. Come over here and help me sharpen my machete, Joe. We want that head to come off with one clean lop.
Lopping off Joe Buck's head on live TV will come in at #2 on the "Most Disgraceful Acts In Sports" list, right behind Randy Moss fake mooning the Lambeau crowd. You made the scale, Joey, we're just trying to live by it.
If the Niners can successfully sacrifice Joe Buck during pre-game warm-ups it would go a long way toward their victory.
Three Matchups To Watch:
Matchup #1: Randy Moss vs. Ed Reed & The Top Of The Defense (and the rest of the world)
Let's face it, it's always had the feeling of Randy vs. The World and he performs his best when he realizes that. Randy Moss has always had a chip on his shoulder and he's never claimed to be a humble man when it comes to football. Anyone who is "shocked" to hear Moss proclaim himself, "the greatest receiver of all time" hasn't followed Randy's career too closely.
Whether you think Randy Moss or Jerry Rice is the greatest of all time doesn't matter because there's only one of them playing on Sunday. I'm truly going to enjoy watching what I consider the best wide receiver of all time running down the sideline stride-for-stride with Ed Reed, who, by the way, I consider to be the best safety of all time.
Matchup #2: Joe Flacco vs. "The Elite Club"
Flacco has stood on the doorstep of greatness for a couple of years now, yet has never gotten too far from the curb of failure. The man has had to face constant doubt from pundits and fans, yet handled all of it in stride. Such is the life of a good-but-not-great (yet) NFL quarterback.
If Flacco wins on Sunday he will have proven himself as elite, he will have silenced the haters, and finished this chapter in the NFL history books.
Matchup #3: The Battle Of Jimmy & Johnny Harbaugh
You can't talk about this Super Bowl matchup without talking about the Har-Bros facing off against each other. This isn't just about bragging rights for the rest of their lives, but about bragging rights for generations to come!
Just think, 150 years from now Jim Harbaugh VII will be facing off against John Harbaugh VI on an episode of Maury over who is the father of little Barbella IV (Yes, Maury is still alive 150 years from now). I can hear it now - "My daddy beat your daddy back in the day, so we all know I have the winning sperm! That's my baby girl!"
(Also, yes, in an odd turn of events, would-be fathers actually want to be that babydaddy 150 years from now. The future's a scary place, people.)
Yes, a lot is on the line in New Orleans on Sunday, least of all the Lombardi Trophy. An entire generational lineage hangs in the balance, along with the rights to bang future societal outcast Barbella III and create the 4th coming of Barbella Christ Turner. Errr.... Go Niners!
Mike's All-Purpose Flour Lock Of The Week:
Pull your #84 jerseys out! It's gonna be a fun ride!
I'm thinking Randy Moss adds a Super Bowl winning TD to his resume this weekend.
"Everone's wondering whether Moss gonna come out today. Moss, are you gonna come out today?"
Well Randy, you showed us all throughout your entire career just what your intentions were. Calvin Johnson, Brandon Marshall, A.J. Green... they all follow the Moss model. The man modernized how defenses play game-breaking wide receivers. Hell, he created the game-breaking wide receiver. The old man has one more big game in him.
Stat Line: 106 yards, 1 TD
Final Takes
The Ray Lewis Farewell Tour is doomed.
If this were the Falcons or Packers I would say the Ravens probably win this game, but this Niners team is a monster and they are clicking on all cylinders.
Quite simply, there are very many different scenarios in which I can imagine the Niners winning this game. There are very few scenarios in which I can picture a tearful Ray Lewis hoisting the Lombardi Trophy above his head one last time.
Quite simply, there are very many different scenarios in which I can imagine the Niners winning this game. There are very few scenarios in which I can picture a tearful Ray Lewis hoisting the Lombardi Trophy above his head one last time.
The Ravens will have to play a perfect game to win. Are they capable of that? Yes.
Will it happen? No.
Final Score:
San Francisco 49ers: 31
Baltimore Ravens: 23
Well there you have it, football fans! The 2012 NFL season ends with Randy Moss cradling the Lombardi Trophy! One can only hope.
For more of Mike Otto be sure to give him a follow on Twitter (@SwervinTaters). He can also be found right here on Newest Industry taking on the biggest stories of the week in our Trendsetting column. He owns a #84 Vikings jersey.
Newest Industry also has a home on Twitter (@NewestIndustry1). Give us a follow to stay up on the work being done by all of our contributors. More importantly, we have a Facebook page here. Stopping by and giving us a "Like" is a free & legitimate way to support the blog.
Newest Industry also has a home on Twitter (@NewestIndustry1). Give us a follow to stay up on the work being done by all of our contributors. More importantly, we have a Facebook page here. Stopping by and giving us a "Like" is a free & legitimate way to support the blog.
No comments:
Post a Comment